


Cheap Thrills

by ToriWritesStories



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Adulthood, Adulting, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bartenders, Best Friend!Octavia, Broke!Clarke, Clarke's life is kind of a mess, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drinking, F/F, Growing Up, I posted this on FF last year but took it down and this time i'm gonna finish it, Lexa helps get Clarke's life together, Mature!Raven, Mistakes, New York City, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, and also the ending is going to be different, artist!Clarke, at least it's kind of a slow burn idk, bartender!lexa, so if you think you know it, you don't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-12-15 04:38:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 71,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11798568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToriWritesStories/pseuds/ToriWritesStories
Summary: Clarke's life is a mess: she hates her job, she's always broke, she has a bad habit of having one night stands, and sometimes she drinks a little too much. Her best friends Octavia and Raven are getting all of their stuff together, and she's being left behind. Somehow, she can't manage to pull herself together, until she meets Raven's new coworker Lexa, who happens to be everything she's been missing. (This is an old story from Fanfiction that I didn't want to leave unfinished, so I'm here finishing it, although I left the beginning the same as from 2015)





	1. Yeah We Keep On Sinning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovelies!!  
> If you've been around awhile, you may know that this story was posted on my Fanfiction account last year. After 9 chapters, I stopped writing because what happened in chapter 8 made some people mad enough to leave some reviews that got to me enough that I gave up on it. After all, when there's a tough crowd, sometimes it's hard to continue. Upon rereading this story recently, at least what I'd written of it, I thought of a new direction to go in at chapter 8, one that would open up a lot more writing potential and plot. So I decided to diverge from the original story and write on from my new chapter 8! However, I didn't wanna start picking at the old version on FF, so I took it down from the site and now it is here, for you guys!!  
> So I'll be posting it weekly starting from the original chapter 1. I apologize to any of you who may have already read this part, but maybe the refresher will be nice anyway?  
> I hope you guys will be interested in this story! I'm pretty far ahead, so the goal is to be able to keep writing steadily and give this story the ending it deserved in the first place.
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** The sound of a door slamming broke Clarke out of her peaceful sleep, and she groaned, displeased, into her pillow. “Time to wake up, Clarkey!” she heard her best friend exclaim.

Clarke turned over, sitting up in her bed as the blanket covering her naked body fell off of her. “What time is it?”

“Nine,” Octavia chimed. “By the way, who's in your bed?”

“The fuck if I know,” Clarke answered, rubbing her eyes and sliding her legs off of the bed and touching her feet to the cold, laminate floor. She glanced into her kitchen-living room from her bed area – which was a partially curtained off section of the studio apartment. “Did you bring me breakfast?”

“Don't I always?” Octavia called back. “You're not getting any until your no-no square is covered up.”

“Why do you insist on calling it that?” Clarke demanded, standing up and making her way over to her dresser. Their loud voices were causing the figure in Clarke's bed to stir. The sooner the better in Clarke's opinion.

He was sitting up a moment later, as Octavia was explaining, “Would you rather me just say 'cover your vagina?’”

“Yes,” Clarke answered, rolling her eyes and then glancing back at the guy in her bed, who was eyeing her naked body. She tried not to huff in annoyance. “You should go.”

“Who's in there?” the guy asked. “Can't she go and I stay?”

“Are you kidding me?” Clarke asked, raising her eyebrows. “Do you even remember my name?” He blinked. That one always caught guys off guard. She looked at him pointedly and said, “Bye.”

Coughing awkwardly, the guy got out of the bed, facing away from Clarke, suddenly shy about his “no-no square”. He was quickly dressed in his previously discarded clothing, and then proceeded to make his way around the curtain, into the open area of Clarke's apartment.

“Hi,” Clarke heard him say to Octavia.

“Goodbye,” Octavia returned to him, and the blonde heard him grumble something before slipping out of the apartment.

“Could you lock that?” Clarke called to her friend, as she finally picked out what to wear. “I'll be a few minutes in the shower.”

“Yep!” Octavia called back. “Clock's ticking, though!”

Ten minutes later, Clarke was cleaned off, fully clothed, and sitting on one of her spinning bar stools next to her best friend, as they both ate breakfast sandwiches. “So, you ready?” Clarke asked the brunette next to her, who let out a breath.

“No,” she answered. “He's never believed in me. What if he doesn't think I can handle the job?”

“Octavia, you've been working for years to get this job. If he doesn't give it to you, I'll literally murder him,” Clarke promised.

Octavia narrowed her eyes. “You can't murder my dad, Clarke.”

“He hardly counts as your dad,” the blonde reasoned, her mouth full of her breakfast sandwich.

“Chew your damn food, you're gross.”

Clarke shrugged her shoulders, swallowing before continuing, “I mean, he left you when you were little, but took your brother. Who the fuck does that?”

“People who are working out between two separated parents who gets the kids,” Octavia argued. “My mom took me, he took Bellamy. I still grew up knowing him.”

“Barely.”

“Whatever. We can't kill him, because he's close to Bellamy, and I need a job as a writer for the newspaper,,” Octavia reminded the blonde, her eyes narrowed. “You're coming to support me, remember?”

“I remember,” the blonde promised, taking the last bite of her sandwich and quickly swallowing it. “Let's go. You driving?”

“You don't have a car, Clarke.”

“Right.”

Octavia rolled her eyes as they got up off of the bar stools and started out of Clarke's apartment. “Are you going to do anything about that, by the way? Like, I don't know, get a job?”

“I have a job,” Clarke stated. The two of them started down the two flights of stairs to the first floor of the building.

“You have a waitress job that gives you enough money to keep your precious studio apartment, where you spend all of your free time painting when you could be working a second job. You at least need a job for the weekends, Clarke. Why don't you work on weekends?” Octavia demanded.

“Shifts on the weekends are always taken,” the blonde insisted. “And I've tried getting another job. I suck at everything, O, I can't get another job.”

“You don't suck at everything.”

“Whatever.” They were approaching Octavia's car now, and the blonde slipped into the passenger's seat begrudgingly. “I don't need a car.”

“You're spending so much money on public transport, plus wasting so much time, that you could probably get a car if you got tight enough with your money,” Octavia reasoned.

“Can we talk about this later? Please?”

“Sure, Clarke.”

Fifteen minutes of driving through the busy city later, Octavia drove her car up in front of the large building dedicated to the newspaper owned by her father.  She pulled it into one of the parallel parking spaces down the road a little, and then both her and Clarke got out of the vehicle and headed for the entrance of the building. “So, you want me to just hang out in the lobby?”

“Yeah, that works,” Octavia answered. “Raven is actually going to get here soon. She's got the morning off, so she said she'd drive you to work after I'm done with the meeting.”

“Gotcha,” Clarke acknowledged. They entered the building, and Octavia took a deep breath. “Good luck, O.”

“Thanks,” Octavia said, smiling gratefully at the blonde before heading toward the elevator in the back of the lobby.

Clarke, in the meantime, plopped herself down on one of the couches that surrounded a coffee table covered with magazines. The woman at the reception desk was eyeing her suspiciously, but Clarke ignored her and took out her phone.

About twenty minutes later, the doors at the front of the building opened, and the blonde looked up to see her other best friend entering. “Hey. She been in there long?”

“A little while,” Clarke replied, “but it could take up to an hour or so. I hope she gets this job. I'm literally going to be pissed if she doesn't.”

“Same,” Raven agreed, sitting down on the couch across from her friend. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

“What'd you do last night?”

“You know what I did last night, I was at the bar while you were working,” Clarke responded, avoiding the question that she knew Raven was really asking

“No shit, I meant what you did when you left with that dude who kept buying you martinis,” Raven said, raising her eyebrows as she waited expectantly for Clarke's answer.

“I don't remember,” Clarke answered, waving her hand. “He woke up this morning and hightailed it out of there once I called him out for being a typical hookup asshole.”

“Ever think about the benefits of not knowing what a typical hookup asshole is like?” Raven asked suddenly, getting a scowl to appear on Clarke's face.

“I don't hook up with people often, Raven. Once a month... or twice or something like that. Maybe three times.”

“You've been on that pattern for like three years, Clarke.”

The blonde shrugged. “I don't have a boyfriend, and I have sexual needs to fill.” The receptionist at the front desk suddenly cleared her throat, and Clarke lowered her voice as she rolled her eyes.

“I'm just saying. If you could focus all of that extra time and energy on working more or something... you could be doing much better in life.”

“My life is fine the way it is.”

“What are you doing tonight?” Raven asked, seeming to drop the point for a moment.

“I work until eight,” she replied, “because unlike what you and Octavia seem to think, I actually do make a living.”

“And then? I know your cycle. The day after your 'monthly' hookup, you get drunk as fuck to make up for the guilt you start to feel about it.”

Clarke relented, “I do not. I'm never at the bar the night after I hookup with someone.”

“I'm not an idiot, Clarke. Just because you don't come to the bar I work at doesn't mean that you don't go out. Look, I'm just saying that you need to break out of this habit,” Raven insisted. “Come to the bar tonight.”

“I thought you didn't want me to drink?”

“I don't care if you drink. I just don't want you to drink by yourself to drown out your guilt over not being productive in your life. I'm trying to help you, Clarke, and even if that means just trying to eliminate one problem at a time. And don't give me that shit that you don't have any problems. You know that you're barely living on your tips from that goddamn restaurant,” Raven said, obviously not going to take any shit about the topic.

“Fine, I'll come to the bar tonight. But I'm not changing my whole life just because you say so, Raven.”

The brunette just sighed. “Clearly.” They were silent for a moment. “They hired someone to replace Murphy at the bar. Maybe you can drink all night, and stay at the bar and away from creepy people, and make sure that she's actually good at her job.”

“Sure, whatever,” Clarke agreed, letting out a long breath after.

It was a silent ten minutes later before the elevator dinged and slid open, revealing a grinning Octavia. “He gave me the job!” she squealed, getting a glare from the receptionist. “I'm going to be writing for the paper! Oh my god!”

“Yes!” Clarke exclaimed, jumping up and running to grab her best friend in a tight hug, her conversation with Raven slipping out of her thoughts. “You deserve this so much, Octavia.” She pulled away from her friend so that Raven could get a hug in as well.

“I'm starting on Monday,” Octavia told them, still grinning. “I've got this weekend to come up with some pitches. Holy shit, I'm so excited!”

“Congrats,” Raven said, smiling. “You seriously earned this.”

“Thanks, guys,” Octavia returned, smiling softly at both of her best friends. “We should celebrate tonight.”

“I'm working and training the new girl at the bar, but Clarke is coming, so show up and we'll have a makeshift celebration,” Raven offered.

“Sounds like a plan!” Octavia said, grinning. “Right now, though, I need to go and meet Bellamy – he's helping me finish my move.”

“Really?” Raven asked, raising an eyebrow. “Didn't you two just start talking again recently?”

Octavia nodded. “It's kind of weird, since we haven't really talked much since we were in middle school. But it's really not either of our faults that our lives separated out, and then he went off to college on the west coast.  We might as well reconnect now, right? I mentioned moving and lifting and he offered to help.”

“That's nice,” Raven said. “I guess that's why I got roped into driving Miss No-Car?”

“I figured that would be nice of you, since she's been taking the bus every day, and if she remembers the comfort of a car, she might actually feel motivated enough to work to get one,” Octavia corrected.

“Do you guys mind not acting like I'm not in the room?” Clarke muttered, crossing her arms. “If you don't want to drive me, Raven, I'll walk. It's only four blocks.”

“You're such an idiot, of course I'm driving you,” Raven said, shaking her head. “Come on, loser. We'll see you tonight, Octavia.”

* * *

“I love you, Clarke, but you cannot be that glum looking all night,” Raven insisted, snapping her fingers in front of the blonde's dull expression. “Octavia is celebrating tonight, and luckily for you, Bellamy's also coming.”

“Why is that lucky for me?”

“It means that you'll have more of a distraction from your typical post hookup depression.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Shut up.”

The entrance bell rang as the door swung open, and a girl that Clarke didn't recognize pushed it open all the way and stepped into the bar. “Hey, Raven,” she called, quickly making her way to the bar. “I'm not late, am I? Traffic was bad – as per usual.”

“No, you're fine,” Raven insisted, taking her attention off of her friend and giving it to the new bartender, who was dressed in skinny jeans and a tight black tank. She was taller than Raven, especially in the heels she was wearing. She looked like a bartender. “Alright, so...”

Clarke tuned the two of them out as her friend explained to the newbie everything she needed to know. Instead, Clarke's blue gaze explored the bar, which was unsurprisingly full. Raven would be happy to finally have someone to help her out, since she'd been working the place nearly by herself for a week.

Once the girl had been taught the ropes, Raven quickly went down the bar a bit to help one of the customers sitting over there, and the new bartender was standing behind the bar, looking like she belonged there. Clarke wondered if she'd worked as a bartender previously. She didn't ask, instead she took a drink of the beer that Raven had handed her earlier, and waited for Octavia and Bellamy to show up.

The new girl, though, wanted to talk, apparently. “Are you a friend of Raven's?” The girl's voice was smooth and pleasant, and Clarke found herself not actually minding that she was being forced into a conversation.

“Yeah,” she answered. “I'm being forced to be here, because she thinks I'm going to go and drown my sorrows by myself somewhere if she doesn't keep an eye on me.”

“Would you?” the girl asked, raising an eyebrow.

Clarke laughed. “Who even knows?  I guess I don't have much of a choice, though. No car.”

“That sucks,” the girl stated. “You got a name, No-Car?”

“Clarke.”

“Nice to meet you. I'm Lexa.”

“Wanna get me something stronger than a beer, Lexa?” Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow at the girl, who gave her a half smile.

“Why not? What do you want?”

Ten minutes later, once Clarke had a martini in her hands and Lexa was making drinks for other people, Octavia and Bellamy burst into the bar. “Celebration time!” Octavia exclaimed. “Raven!”

“Chill, O,” Raven called across the bar, “I'll get you your drink in a second.”

“Hey, O,” Clarke greeted. “Hey, Bellamy. How is New York treating you since you've been back?”

“Not too bad,” he answered. “I'm surprised that it actually still feels somewhat like home.”

“I guess four years isn't long enough to completely detach yourself,” Clarke reasoned, as Octavia took the seat next to her and Bellamy took the one by his sister.

Raven came down to their side of the bar. “What do you drink Bellamy?”

“I'll just take a beer,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

“I got it,” Lexa called helpfully, grabbing a beer and sliding it to Bellamy, who nodded his thanks. Raven, in the meantime, was mixing Octavia's usual drink.

“Finished moving?” Clarke asked her best friend.

“Yep! I've just gotta set up my bed,” she replied. “Can I sleepover at your place Clarke? I don't wanna build it tonight, and Bellamy's gotta get up early tomorrow so he can't help me tonight.”

“How about I come and help you build it, and then we sleep at your new place?” Clarke suggested. “I don't wanna be at my place right now.”

Raven coughed, as if trying to cover something up, and said, “Post hookup depression setting in.”

“Shut up, Raven,” Clarke snapped.

“Why else would you go out every night after you wake up next to some asshole and only go home when you can't recognize your apartment?” Raven snapped.

“Give her a break,” Octavia interrupted them, “I'm trying to have a good time, remember?” Clarke gave her friend behind the bar a pointed look. “Anyway, if you're going to help me build it tonight, then you better slow down on the alcohol.”

Clarke pouted. “Raven said I could get drunk.”

“So now you wanna side with Raven?”

Raven smirked, sliding Octavia her drink. “If I end up having to drive both of you home, you're going to whichever place is closest.”

“That would be mine,” Clarke muttered.

“So stop drinking so much if you'd rather go to Octavia's, and drive yourself.”

“No car.”

Octavia took a sip of her drink. “Clarke is not driving, she's already had a beer and a martini, right? We'll just get a cab and I'll come get my car tomorrow. Neither of us are working tomorrow, it'll be fine.”

“Fair enough,” Raven replied, before having to move down the bar to help someone.

And with that, Clarke requested a second martini from Lexa, because it had been surprisingly good, and prepared herself to get tipsy enough to feel good.

She and Octavia ended up climbing in a cab together, but they went to Clarke's apartment instead of the brunette's, because building a bed was not something to be done while intoxicated. The easier task was to tear Clarke's sheets off of her bed, replace them with clean ones, and fall asleep there, which was exactly what they did.


	2. Learn To Let It Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finds herself somewhat stranded at the bar without either of her best friends, so she chats with Lexa and finds herself with a chance at something she might really like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!!  
> Guess what! I'm in Dallas, in my dorm, right now!! I moved in on Thursday, and the weekend's been kind of crazy... I've been going to lots of the welcome events and hanging out with some people that I met online previously and some people that I just met this weekend. Things are great so far, but classes start tomorrow, so I'm kind of excited but also kind of stressed lol. But it's been fun XD  
> Anyway, here's chapter two of Cheap Thrills!!
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** Clarke woke up in her bed, tangled into her best friend, who was snoring lightly. Letting out a groan, she pulled her arms away and rolled over to look up at the white ceiling. Her head was aching slightly, and her curtain wasn't completely closed, letting light in from the two large windows across the studio apartment. “Octavia,” Clarke muttered, running her hand over her face and then keeping it over her eyes.

“Hmm?” a groan came from the brunette.

“What time is it?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Octavia demanded, burying her face into Clarke's pillow.

Clarke took in a breath, before reaching over to her nightstand and unplugging her phone. It was nearly noon. “I don't have anywhere to be today, right?”

“You could try and find a second job,” Octavia muttered. “What's the time?”

“Noon.”

Octavia let out a groan. “I gotta put my bed together.”

“I'll help,” Clarke offered. “But let's get food first.”

“Wanna force Raven to leave work and come with us to get food?” Octavia asked. “Since we have to go there to get my car anyway?”

Clarke nodded, because Octavia had rolled over now so that she could look at the blonde. “Yeah, sure. She's got someone to cover for here there anyway now.”

“And it's not like it's too busy in the middle of the day,” Octavia added. “I call shower first.”

“This is my apartment,” Clarke exclaimed, but her best friend was already out of the bed and slipping into the bathroom.

* * *

“Thank you!” Octavia said to the cab driver, handing him his cash as Clarke started into the bar.

“Raven!” she called out, aware that her voice was coming out more like a whine than a call. “We want food!”

“Raven's not here,” a voice said suddenly, and Clarke actually looked to the bar, where Lexa was standing. She was leaning against the counter in a blue tank top today, her eyebrow raised slightly at the blonde. “She won't be here till later.”

“Did she say where she is?” Octavia asked, apparently having already walked into the bar.

Lexa shook her head, and Clarke huffed, taking a seat at the bar while Octavia took out her phone to call their friend.

“Raven,” Octavia said, once the girl picked up, “where are you? We came to steal you for lunch. You don't know when we woke up. Okay fine, breakfast. Lame. Wait, what? Holy shit! Don't tell me not to go! I'm going!” She hung up the phone.

“Where are you going?” Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.

“There's something going down at that old creepy building next to Raven's apartment. I'm going to go check it out. I need pitches for work,” Octavia explained.

Clarke pouted. “But you were gonna go get food with me.”

“You can get food by yourself. But you should still help me with my bed, just later,” Octavia insisted. “See you!”

“Octavia! I don't have a –” The door closed as Octavia left, and Clarke sighed, finishing with a lame, “car.”

“Are you guys always this loud and crazy?” Lexa asked, drawing the blonde's attention away from the door.

Clarke nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. People either get used to it or ignore it.” Lexa smiled.

“It's kind of refreshing.”

“Mm. Well, I'm stuck here, so you might as well get me something to drink.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Thought you hadn't eaten yet?” Clarke shrugged her shoulders, and the brunette rolled her eyes, slipping suddenly into the back room. She came back with a paper lunch bag in hand. She tossed it in front of the blonde, who looked at it with confusion.

“Is this your lunch?”

“It was, but now it's your breakfast,” Lexa replied.

“I'm not taking your food.”

“Uh, yes you are.”

Clarke felt her lips twitch suddenly, and she found herself smiling. “Thank you. I'll buy you lunch or something later in return.”

“Sounds good,” Lexa said, smiling as well. “So, how come you don't have a car?”

“Don't have enough money,” Clarke answered, avoiding Lexa's eyes as she opened the small lunch bag. There was a sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap, and a couple of other things. She grabbed the sandwich and carefully unwrapped it. “I'm a waitress and I'm living by myself so I just never seem to have enough money to invest in car. Between public transportation and Octavia and Raven, I can usually get everywhere I need to.”

“Couldn't you be working right now?” Lexa asked, but Clarke just shook her head, and the brunette didn't press her.

Clarke took a bite of the sandwich, not exactly sure what was on it but enjoying its taste nonetheless. “Was your last job bar tending?”

“No, I was working at this new art gallery across the street and at the end of the block. I'm friends with the siblings that opened it, but I've been trying to get a bartending job for a while, so when I got this one I left the gallery. My friends understood, though, so. Plus, they're only open on weekends, so I wasn't making enough money to support myself without a second job, and I don't want to work at two different places.” Lexa shrugged her shoulders.

Clarke took another bite of the sandwich, debating whether or not to ask the question that had popped into her head. “So, uh, is that place hiring now then?” Lexa quirked up an eyebrow.

“Yep,” she replied. “Looking for a second job to get you a car?”

Clarke looked up at the brunette. “No. But I really should get one. And if you ever tell Raven that I just said that, I might have to kill you.”

The taller girl laughed. “Don't worry, I won't. If you're interested in the job there, though, I can talk to the owners. I've been friends with them literally since we were little kids. You like art?”

“Yeah, it's my passion,” Clarke replied. “I guess I'm what you'd call a starving artist. Living paycheck to paycheck at a job that I hate while I try to make something of myself.”

Lexa smiled. “My friend Lincoln is a sculptor, and his sister Anya likes to look at art. Personally, I don't see the fun in staring at a painting that you have no sentimental connection to.”

“You're supposed to make a connection with it,” Clarke explained, smirking. “That's really cool, though. I... might be interested in a job there. If it's only on weekends, that's perfect. I never manage to get weekend shifts at my work.”

“You should go over there. They're open until six, I think. If you go after you eat that, maybe you can bring me something to eat,” Lexa proposed, her lips turning into a half smile.

Clarke nodded, suddenly feeling slightly shy. “Yeah, I think I will.” She was nearly done with Lexa's sandwich now. “What do you wanna eat?”

“Whatever is easy to get in between here and there,” Lexa replied. “I don't actually know what's on this street when it comes to food. But I'll eat pretty much anything, so.”

“Okay. Thanks again for your lunch.”

“Raven would probably kill me if I let you drink in the middle of the day on an empty stomach,” Lexa justified, though Clarke caught a glint in her eye that made the blonde smile.

“Fair enough.”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later found Clarke crossing the busy street and heading off toward the end of the block, as described by Lexa as the way to the art gallery. Clarke was slightly nervous about going in to ask for a job, but she knew that her friends were right – even just working the weekends could help her, even if she had to start saving a little to get a car. Plus, she loved art, so why not?

She saw it as she approached it, a nice little building nestled on the corner of the street. There were large windows on either side of the glass doors, letting natural light flow into the from room.

Clarke took a deep breath and opened the door, letting herself in.

“Hi! Welcome to the Polis Art Gallery. Interested in viewing?” a girl asked suddenly from behind a receptionist desk.

“Um, no actually,” Clarke answered. “I uh, heard from someone that this place is hiring?”

The girl nodded. “Yes, we are. I'm Anya, I co-own this place with my brother Lincoln. Nice to meet you...”

“Clarke,” the blonde finished. “Uh, Lexa just got a job at the bar that my friend works at, and she mentioned that you're hiring. I'm interested in the job.”

Clarke talked to Anya for a few minutes, discussing her interest in art and her availability on weekends, and then she gave the other blonde her phone number and was told that they would contact her soon to let her know if she would get the job.

Clarke had a feeling that she would, because it seemed like Anya was relieved that someone had come in about a job.

On her way back to the bar, she stopped at a sandwich shop that looked decent, and bought a sandwich and a bag of chips that resembled that of the lunch Clarke had just eaten. Then she was entering the bar again, and noticed that Raven had arrived. “Is Lexa still here?” Clarke asked her friend, holding the bag of food in her hands.

“Hello to you too,” Raven replied, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, she just went to the bathroom. Why are you here?”

“Octavia left me here,” Clarke answered. “Ah, Lexa gave me her food, so I went and got her food.” She left out the part about going to the art gallery, because she didn't want to hear Raven's “I told you!” yet.

“I hope you're not expecting a ride from me,” Raven said, “I'm working until like ten tonight.”

“No, I'm just going to pester Octavia until she comes and gets me. She still needs to me to help put her bed together. We went back to my place because we were too drunk last night,” Clarke explained, as Lexa suddenly came out from the back room, her eyes falling on the blonde, now seated at the bar. “Here,” Clarke said, holding out the bag of food and smiling.

Lexa grabbed it happily. “Thanks!” She went back into the back of the bar to put the food away for now, and Raven cleared her throat.

“So you went back to your place last night after all. Were you too drunk to see straight, or what?” Raven asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, Raven. I went back to my house because Octavia's doesn't have a bed, and we knew we couldn't make the bed with alcohol in our systems,” Clarke stated. “Could you stop trying analyze me for three seconds, Raven?”

“I'm fucking trying to help you,”

“Well don't.”

Raven raised her eyebrows. “Fine, whatever. Waste your life. Do what you want.” She moved to the other side of the bar, and Clarke groaned, letting her face fall onto her hands, which were resting on the bar itself.

When Lexa came out of the back room again, she seemed to be able to sense the tension between the two friends, and said nothing. Clarke almost wished that she had said something, though, because it might've been a nice distraction from this whole situation.

Finally, though, Clarke sat up and took out her phone, texting her best friend.

**Clarke – Please tell me you're almost done so that I can leave! :(**

**Oct-babe-via – I'm almost done. Did u eat?**

**Clarke – Yep! Ready to put your bed together!**

**Oct-babe-via – Ur too good to me ;D Is Rae Rae not keeping u company?**

**Clarke – We fought again. :/**

**Oct-babe-via – U 2 are like kids.**

**Clarke – Yeah, whatever. Hurry. :(**

**Oct-babe-via – Driving, see u when I get there!**

Clarke set her phone done, sighing audibly with relief. She looked up, just as Lexa walked toward the end of the bar she was at after giving a drink to a customer on the other side. “You know, most people would probably have to end up buying a drink if they were gonna sit here all day.”

“I tried earlier, remember?” Clarke countered, smiling. “Don't worry, I'll be out of here soon.”

“Octavia finally coming back?” Lexa asked, leaning forward against the counter.

The blonde nodded. “Yeah, we still have to go put her bed together, or she's gonna be stealing half of mine every day.”

“You two are very close,” Lexa commented.

Clarke smiled fondly. “We've been best friends since we were in middle school. I've never been as close to anyone as I've been with her. She knows more about me than anyone – even the guy in my longest relationship didn't know as much about me as she does.”

“Wow,” the taller girl said, nodding as if impressed, “that's really cool, though. What about Raven?”

“I met her in college,” Clarke answered, “and she became good friends with me and Octavia. She's good at keeping us both in check.”

“She does seem relatively more level headed,” Lexa teased.

“I resent that,” Clarke said back, though she was laughing lightly. “Hey, thanks for letting me know about the art gallery, by the way. Anya told me that she's going to call me about the job later.”

“Don't worry about it,” Lexa insisted, smiling. “I hope you get it.”

“Same.”

“Get what?” Raven asked suddenly, approaching the side of the bar where Lexa and Clarke were talking.

“A job,” Clarke replied, her voice suddenly quieted slightly, because she knew the “I told you so” was coming.

“You applied for a job? When?” Raven demanded.

“While I was getting Lexa her replacement lunch,” Clarke replied, crossing her arms. “At an art gallery at the end of the road.”

Raven looked at Lexa. “Did you get her to get a job somehow?” Lexa just shrugged.

“I just mentioned the place.” Raven was looking back at the blonde as Lexa finished talking.

“Oh really? And then you came back here and got pissed at me for mentioning it again?” Raven demanded.

“You mentioned drinking again, not the job,” Clarke snapped. “Look, Raven, I don't wanna fight with you. I know that I need a second job, and I haven't lied to you or Octavia when I said that I legitimately couldn't work at the restaurant on the weekends, okay? You don't need to tell me that you told me so.”

“But I told you so.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes at the brunette, who just gave her a wide grin. When Clarke still didn't lighten up, Raven sighed and looked like she wanted to say something about it. Before she could, though, the door to the bar opened, and Octavia strolled in.

“Clarke,” she was whining already, “I'm hungry.”

“That's why you don't abandon people and food for weird shit,” Clarke replied.

Octavia grabbed Clarke's hand and tugged her off of the bar stool. “C'mon, I'm not waiting, let's go. Bye, Raven! Bye, Lexa!”

“See you guys later,” Raven called, and Lexa gave them both a small wave, and then they were gone.

As they drove to Octavia's new apartment, and after Clarke ordered takeout to the place as well for her friend, the blonde took a deep breath and said, “So, I applied for a second job. For the weekends. At an art gallery. Lexa told me about it, apparently she used to work there.”

Octavia's eyebrows shot up. “You got another job?”

“Well, hopefully,” Clarke replied.

“Oh my god! That's awesome! Look at us getting our lives together at the same time!” Octavia exclaimed, a grin spread across her face. “That's awesome! I seriously hope you get it. And that's super cool that it's an art gallery! Oh my god! I'm so excited!”

Clarke couldn't help the smile that was appearing on her face. “Yeah, me too.”

The two of them got to Octavia's apartment pretty quickly, and Clarke was not surprised to see boxes and furniture strewn around randomly. She knew that she would probably end up helping Octavia deal with all of it, but eating the takeout that came a few minutes after they got there came first, and then building the bed came second.

It took them nearly an hour to figure out how to put the bed frame together in its entirety, and then they had to conquer the mattress.

“You wanna walk backwards or forwards?” Octavia asked, as they considered who would grab which end.

“Forward.”

“Too bad, same,” Octavia said, taking the side that would have her walk forward. Clarke rolled her eyes, keeping her balance carefully once they were carrying the thing into the brunette's bedroom.

Once they had it topple onto the bed frame, they straightened it out and collapsed onto it without bothering to put on sheets yet. “This is why I'm never moving without hiring people for this shit.”

“Are you kidding? Saving money is worth this effort,” Octavia insisted. “Plus, if you move, you'll have me and I'll recruit Bellamy, and we'll drag Raven in. And we both know you're not moving ever unless you're dating someone, so you'll have that person too.”

“Fair enough,” Clarke replied, “but I'm tired.”

“I'll take you to a movie if you help me with the rest of my shit,” Octavia said after a moment, turning and smiling widely at the blonde.

Clarke raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? I'm so tired.”

“Dinner and a movie?” Octavia suggested, her grin widening. Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Sure.”

Octavia sat up, grinning proudly. “If only I was bi, then we'd make a perfect couple.”

“Come on, loser, let's get your apartment together for once.” She ignored the bi comment, because if she was being honest, she wasn't very vocal about her sexuality. Octavia and Clarke's mother were the only two people who knew that she was bi, but she'd never dated a woman, or slept with a woman. She'd only kissed girls a handful of times through high school and college, and nearly slept with one at a party once in college.

Despite that, sometimes she wondered if her attraction to girls only extended as far as the physical aspect. She'd never once met a girl that she had any romantic connection with.

That's why she didn't find it necessary to mention.

Octavia liked to make that joke, though, that she and Clarke would make a perfect couple if she was also bi. Clarke wasn't sure how true that was, but Octavia was her best friend, and so alternate universe relationships aside, she spent the rest of the day helping the brunette organize her apartment.

Then she got her dinner and her movie, both of which turned out to be pretty good, and she let herself feel relaxed and happy, because she was probably going to be getting a second job. At the sight of the new possibility, she found herself more motivated than ever to get her life together, and she was going to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my Twitter @BrittzandTana !!  
> I love you all, I hope you have a greaaaat week!! <3


	3. There's A Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke starts her new job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so important things first:  
> -There should be a midweek update on Thursday!!  
> -Hopefully that chapter will be longer than this one - I apologize for this one being kind of short. I'm going to probably start modifying some of them to make them longer and more fully fleshed out, because I've realized that since this is older, my writing was definitely not up to par with what I've been writing more recently. And I'd like to apologize for that my lovelies <3 :(  
> I have a bit more to talk about in my bottom note, but for now, here's the chapter!!
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** “So,” Clarke said into her phone, “Anya called me back this morning...”

“Oh my god,” Octavia said, “please tell me that you got the job!” The excitement in her voice was extremely evident, and it brought a grin to the blonde's face.

“I got it!” she exclaimed. “I'm so excited!! I start Saturday morning!”

“Yes! That's amazing! I'm so excited for you, Clarke! Seriously, I'm so proud of you,” Octavia said, sounding more serious all of the sudden.

“Don't go too mushy on me, O,” Clarke teased, smiling to herself. She was walking the four blocks from the restaurant she worked at to Octavia's dad's newspaper building. She knew her friend was working a bit late, so she figured that she could get a ride off of her in exchange for takeout or something. “You still at work?”

“Yeah,” Octavia answered. “Daily grind. I just wanna write some articles now.”

“Aren't you supposed to be?”

Octavia sighed. “My supervisor hasn't assigned me anything. I mean, I've been writing stuff and pitching it, but she's literally evil. I don't think she likes me. I think she has a crush on her boss.”

“Isn't her boss your dad?” Clarke asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Yes, which is my point,” Octavia replied. “She's insistent that I need more practice. That's why I keep staying late. If she sees me working more and more, maybe she'll have to accept that I'm reading. I literally have a degree in this shit. Like seriously.”

“She'll come around, I'm sure,” Clarke said, now able to see the building as she walked closer. “You about done though?”

“Pretty much,” the brunette answered, sighing. “Why? Something up besides your amazing new job?”

“Nah, but I'm gonna meet you outside your work. I need a ride, and you need food,” Clarke said.

Octavia laughed. “Aw, how sweet. I'll see you down there in a few.”

* * *

Raven invited Clarke to come hang out at the bar on Friday night, but the blonde's nerves were far too heightened for her to let herself take a drink. She knew that if she was there, she'd be drinking a little too much to calm herself down. If she wanted her first day at the art gallery to go well, she needed to be not at all hungover when she got there.

She'd never been so nervous for a job, but she'd also never been so excited. It was incredible, the way she felt. She was filled with a sudden thrill, like she could do anything that she was determined enough to do. She was taking the reins on her life and holding tight. It felt good to have them back.

She hadn't really been very put together since college – which she dropped out of after realizing that her plan to become a doctor was not at all what she wanted to do. After dropping out, her deal with her mom had become void. She'd promised to pay for part of Clarke's college and her living expenses as long as the blonde was working while in school. As soon as the school part was factored out, her mother had been extremely disappointed and decided that she wasn't going to pay for Clarke to do nothing.

Now, had her mother continued to pay for her stuff, Clarke probably could've been successful with her art by now. But she hadn't really expected her mom to keep paying for it all, anyway, and it was, ultimately, probably a good thing that Clarke had to experience what it was like to support herself completely. She'd had to sell her car in order to keep living by herself. Octavia would have let her move in with her, but at the time, she'd still been in college and lived in a dorm with Raven, so it wouldn't have worked. Then the brunette had moved into a very small apartment for a year, and now she was moved into a bigger place, but Clarke was in no way going to infringe on that just because she hadn't made enough money to get herself a car.

And now that she was possibly going to get one in the coming months, she was filled with a sense of accomplishment.

So instead of going out to drink, she ordered takeout and sat on the bed in her studio apartment, with her curtains drawn to block out the light of the city from the large windows on the other side of the room, watching movies. And then she went to sleep, mentally preparing herself for the following day.

* * *

“Alright, so this is our gallery,” Anya explained, as Clarke dutifully followed her through the double doors leading out of the lobby. “It's surprisingly big, considering how we haven't been open very long. But my parents were involved in arts funding a lot in the past, so they gave us some contacts.”

“It's pretty impressive,” Clarke admitted, realizing that she recognized some of the art that she saw hanging on the walls.

“We have two other exhibits on the second floor. One is for sculptures, the other for more modern art. It's pretty simple. We tend to get quite a bit of business starting at around ten, because our small size means that we're a cheap, easy place to check out art for New York tourists who are rushing through the city,” Anya continued. “So, Lincoln, Luna and I usually kind of switch around jobs depending on what's needed or convenient. With you here, though, we should be a bit more stable. Lincoln is usually in the back, working on technical stuff, Luna stays upstairs, I stay in the front. Your job is just this part of the gallery.”

Clarke nodded. “Okay, I can handle that.” Anya smiled.

“Good to know.”

The day started off slowly, and Clarke found herself cleaning up and making sure things were neat mostly, until the day actually picked up. Quite a few tourist-looking people came in to check out art, and most of them seemed just like the ones that Anya described – in a rush, and looking for cheap ways to see the art of New York.

That's what the gallery mostly was comprised of – art from small New York City artists, though some of them were getting more prominent, which was why Clarke recognized some of their names. Even if she didn't know the stories behind each piece, she was glad that she understood the medium and general idea of most of them, because many people assumed that she would know, as they should, and asked her about the paintings. She answered as best as she could.

A few other people who weren't tourists had come in to ask Anya about featuring their art in the gallery, and ended up coming in to scope out the other types of art in the place.

Because of the small staff of four people working the place, the gallery closed for forty-five minutes during lunch, and once all of the viewers had gone, Anya invited Clarke to join them in the back room.

That's when she met Lincoln, Anya's brother, and Luna, Lincoln's girlfriend. They were a cheery group, and they made Clarke smile. Not to mention, they all loved art to some degree, and she hadn't met very many people who shared her love for the beauty and intricacies that made up art.

They ate sandwiches that Lincoln had picked up from the sandwich shop nearby at some point in time, and the other three questioned Clarke about her life. She told them briefly about her life, leaving out most of the complicated stuff, like college, relationships, her financial situation, her mom... she kept it pretty superficial. She didn't want to scare away the people who were supplying her with a job that she actually enjoyed.

As soon as their lunch break was over, they were back to work, and people were coming in again. At around four in the afternoon, the place was getting less busy. It closed at five, and Clarke would be off at six, which was when she assumed the place would be all cleaned up and readied for the following day.

She wasn't wrong, because the hour spent after Anya turned the open sign to closed, they were busy cleaning up the mess that tourists always had to inevitably leave behind. They also dusted all of the pieces, which didn't take all too long with the four of them, and then the day was over.

“Well, I think that was a pretty successful first day for you, Clarke,” Anya said, smiling. “Will it be okay if we just give you your pay at the end of every weekend?”

Clarke was already nodding. “Of course, whatever is convenient.”

“I think you'll fit it well here, Clarke!” Luna told her, a grin across her face. “We haven't really had anyone come in here with interest in a job, but you're literally perfect, so I'm glad it was you.”

Clarke smiled shyly. “Well, I really like it here, so I'm glad too.”

“How about we go get some drinks?” Lincoln suggested. “At the place where Lexa works now, of course. And your friend works there too, right Clarke?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “Raven. Sounds good to me.”

“Same!” Anya said, as Luna nodded as well. “Let's go, then.”

They walked the short walk and then crossed through the crosswalk to get to the bar. Upon entering, the first person that Clarke saw was Raven, whose face lit up upon seeing the blonde. “Hey! How was it?”

“Good,” Clarke replied, smiling widely. “This is Anya, Lincoln and Luna. This is my friend Raven.”

“Nice to meet you,” Anya said.

Lexa came from across the bar, looking like she was ready to serve the next customers, before she realized that those customers were her friends. “Oh, hey guys.”

They immediately broke into separate conversations, and Raven made Clarke a drink while they talked. “So, you like it there, right?”

“Yeah, it's nice to be surrounded by art all day and get paid for it. Plus, Anya, Lincoln and Luna are all pretty cool. It's a really relaxed atmosphere, too. I don't know, it's just so much more satisfying than going to a restaurant every day and taking people's orders every day,” Clarke answered, full of happiness from her successful first day.

“Don't you dare quit your waitress job, Clarke,” Raven threatened playfully, knowing that the blonde wasn't that stupid.

“I feel really accomplished, Raven,” Clarke admitted. “I feel like I'm getting my life together again.”

Raven smiled softly. “Hey, I wanted to apologize for last week, by the way. I know I was really hard on you, and we both kind of just ignored it after Saturday, but I'm really proud of you. And I believe in you. I know that the reason you've been stuck in a rut is because you want to do what you love, and you haven't gotten many opportunities to align working with passion.”

“You don't need to apologize, Rae,” Clarke insisted, though her friend's words were quite touching. “Seriously, some of my internal motivation was probably fueled by your stubborn encouraging.”

“Yeah, and my new stress wrinkles were fueled by your stubborn denial,” Raven teased, shaking her head as she slid the blonde her drink.

Clarke scoffed, “Raven, you literally have the most flawless skin, don't even try to pretend like you don't.”

It was a Saturday night, so Raven had to stop talking to Clarke pretty much as soon as she was done making the girl's drink, and she was off making other drinks. The blonde fiddled with her phone, drinking her martini and occasionally making light conversation with Lincoln and Luna – Anya had left earlier, claiming that she had some things to do.

Lincoln and Luna left at some point an hour or so later, but Clarke didn't have a ride, and she wasn't sober anyway, so she figured she would sit around a bit more until she decided how she was going to get home.

After about ten minutes of sitting alone at the end of the bar and sipping her drink while scrolling through Facebook, someone came into the building and began working behind the bar. Clarke was confused, because the last she knew, there were only two people working the bar on weekends – and it was Raven and Lexa.

The latter must've noticed Clarke's confusion, and suddenly Lexa was making conversation. “The owner of the bar hired someone else to work late Saturday nights. I hate working late.”

Clarke looked at the brunette with interest. “Are you off now?”

Lexa nodded, but didn't make a move to leave yet. “I heard your first day went well.” The blonde smiled involuntarily at the mention of her job.

“Yeah, it was great. Thanks so much for telling me about the job, really. I've never actually enjoyed a job that much. I've had a pretty shitty past when it comes to work and stuff like that,” Clarke admitted.

The brunette just smiled softly. “No problem. Though to be fair, I didn't mention it because I knew you wanted the job. It literally just came up in conversation.”

“Either way,” Clarke insisted, laughing lightly.

Lexa was smiling a bit wider now. “Do you need a ride home? Unless you plan on waiting for Raven to finish working at one in the morning, or just sleeping here all night.”

“Oh, I can just take a cab. You don't need to bother with giving me a ride. I already mooch too many off of Raven and Octavia.”

The bartender was shaking her head. “Come on, seriously. I could use the company anyway. I hate driving by myself.”

A light smile appeared on Clarke's face. “Well, if you insist.”

“I do,” Lexa replied, expression bright.

As they left the bar, Clarke explained quickly how to get to her apartment from where they were, and Lexa claimed that she knew the area. They were at the brunette's car in a few minutes, and the blonde got into the passenger seat. It was a small car, but it looked nice both on the inside and outside. “Nice car.”

“You must not know very much about cars,” Lexa said, laughing. “It's alright, I guess.”

“Better than my nonexistent car,” Clarke justified, and the brunette flashed her an amused sideways glance.

“Fair enough. So...” Lexa looked like she was trying to think of a way to start a conversation, but was failing, so Clarke decided to take it upon herself to start one up.

“Did you go to college?” Clarke wondered.

Lexa hummed. “Yeah. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology. I kind of lost the passion for psych after I got my degree, though. I kind of flailed around a bit after that. Turns out that bartending is actually what I like to do. You?”

“I went for a couple of years,” Clarke answered, “and then I dropped out. I was going to be a doctor... mostly because my mom wanted me to. Once I realized that I didn't want to and I couldn't force myself anymore, I just quit. My mom was pretty pissed, but she got over it, eventually. Her bank account is still pretty pissed at me, though.”

Lexa let out a light laugh. “Well, at least you didn't end up being a doctor if you didn't want to be. Personally, I think it's a waste of precious time to do something that you don't actually really enjoy doing, or want to do. Society has people's thoughts all twisted into a single path of life – grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, retire, die. I don't wanna live like that.”

“What would you rather be doing?” As Clarke asked the question, the corners of Lexa's mouth perked up slightly into a smile.

“I want to experience all of the little thrills and joys of life. I don't care about working every day of my life for hours on end just to be rich, and live in a stupid typical house with a white picket fence. My dream life is full of spontaneity and freedom. I don't know, actually, what all of that would consist of. It doesn't really matter, to be honest,” Lexa admitted.

Clarke was smiling. “Definitely sounds better than the boring, typical thing.”

“Figured you'd agree,” Lexa said, chuckling. The rest of the drive was quiet, and Clarke watched the lights of the city pass as they made their way through it. It wasn't too long before they were in front of Clarke's apartment building. “Here we are!”

“Thank you so much,” Clarke said, smiling at the brunette, “seriously. You didn't have to drive me.”

“Obviously,” Lexa replied, laughing. “Maybe you'll stop by the bar again tomorrow?”

“Probably. I'll need some alcohol to ready myself for going back to work at that stupid restaurant again on Monday,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes playfully. She opened the car door. “So maybe I'll see you tomorrow then. Thanks again, Lexa.”

“Don't worry about it,” the taller girl insisted from the driver's seat as Clarke clambered out of the car. “I'll see you.”

“Bye,” Clarke replied, giving the girl one last wave, before heading back into her building.

As she went to bed that night, she let herself smile with pride at her successful day, and let herself feel completely relaxed as she showered and got ready for bed. She was finally doing something right, she could tell, and she was making new friends along the way. Things were looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves! So I'm a week into the college life, and it's all going pretty well!! So far I'm actually managing to stay ahead on all of my homework, but I still find that I happen to be doing homework a lot LOL. But I've also been hanging out with people and making new friends which is pretty cool, I went to my campus' pride group meeting on Friday and that was fun! So things are going well! I did have to spend a shit ton of money on textbooks and stuff, but thankfully one of them I ended up getting an ebook for in a format I was required to pay for anyway so I got to return my calc textbook and I'm abouta get that refund and I'm hyped XD But anyway, things are going pretty well so far :)  
> Anyway, thank you all so much for reading, and I hope you have a lovely week!! (SEE YOU ON THURSDAY!!)


	4. You Make Me Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke deals with some not the most fun stuff, but a lot in her life is looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my loves!  
> So starting from this chapter, things are a bit more edited from the original content. Overall the same, small details sometimes slightly different. Also I just reformatted some of the writing itself, since I'm better than I used to be at this kinda stuff haha.
> 
> I appreciate the interest in this story so far - I know it's not necessarily my best work and I know some of you have already read this part. And for those of you who haven't, I understand that you're curious about what happened in the original chapter eight. And I'm not one to change a story because of what people think about it, and yes, I kind of did that here. But the thing is, I stopped writing this because I lost motivation due to some unkind words. I regained motivation by changing what happened enough for me to have something to go on. Now, of course I don't blame anyone for being curious about what happened, but I'm not going to talk about it, and I probably won't later either. If it's okay with you guys, I'd like to pretend like nothing's changing at all and like the old way it accidentally ended never happened ahah. After all, it wasn't meant to end there anyway.
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** Friday night, after another long week of suffering through her waitress job, Clarke was finally getting a break. Octavia had noticed, and Clarke wasn't denying, that she'd actually picked up as many extra shifts as she could during the week. She loved making art in her spare time, but it wasn't satisfying her anymore, and she had a feeling that it wouldn't until she could support herself entirely. Struggling paycheck to paycheck wasn’t worth a few extra hours of painting pieces that weren’t even making her a dime. And yes, she knew that meant she needed to get a car, which meant that she seriously needed to make some more money.

It was Friday, though, and she was in desperate need of a break before work at the art gallery the next morning. She considered her options of where to go once she got out of work, but after quickly eliminating the idea of going clubbing by herself or something else stupid like that, she settled on the bar. It was her typical spot anyway, since Raven worked there and whatnot. It had become their go-to spot in college too, before Raven got the job.

After failing to catch a cab, which was probably a good thing for her bank account, Clarke started the walk to the bar. The good thing about the location of the restaurant at which she worked was that it was about four blocks from Octavia's work, and about six from the bar. It was a bit of walking, but sometimes it was nicer than waiting for a cab. Cheaper, too, of course. Not to mention, it was still not yet freezing in New York, and Clarke figured that she might as well appreciate the weather while it lasted.

She was about three blocks away from the bar when a car driving next to her suddenly honked, and she jumped slightly, looking at it curiously. In the driver's seat was a brunette wearing a smile on her face, clothed in her typical work clothes.

Her window was rolling down. “Are you going to the bar?”

“Where else do I ever go?” Clarke replied, laughing at Lexa, who just kept smiling.

“Funnily enough, I'm also going there. Hop on in.”

The brunette had pulled over by now, and Clarke didn't protest, hastily going around to get into the passenger seat of the car. “Thanks,” she chirped, once she was buckled in and Lexa was driving again.

“Fresh out of work, I see,” the brunette commented, and Clarke looked down at her uniform clad self.

“Yup,” she answered. “Barely even realized. I've only changed out of these for long enough to wash them and get sleep.”

“Working a lot?”

“No, I just like hanging out in my work clothes when I’m painting,” Clarke joked with a slight smile, causing Lexa to roll her eyes with a chuckle. “Yeah. What about you? I thought you worked earlier than this.”

“I've been taking weird shifts,” Lexa admitted, “because there are different people who are working during the day now. It's weird, I don't know.  I like working at night and on weekends for the most part, though. I thought you usually got a ride or caught cabs to go places?”

“Eh, walking doesn't hurt. And I mean, it's only like six blocks away,” Clarke said. “Plus, it's going to get cold soon, and I might as well savor the warmth, right?”

“Fair enough,” Lexa returned, smiling. “You staying at the bar for a while tonight?”

“Probably. I'm pretty exhausted from the week, and I know I have to work tomorrow, so I'm not going to get hammered or anything. I do need to wind down, though.” The blonde took a deep breath. “Good thing you saw me, though, because now that I think about it, walking anymore would probably result in my collapsing and falling asleep on the bar.”

Lexa let out a bright laugh that made Clarke smile. “Well, we can't have that. Maybe it would be good for you to go home and get some sleep, though.”

“Probably,” Clarke agreed, “but like I said... I need to wind down. Maybe just a couple of martinis or something.”

A few quiet minutes later, they were climbing out of Lexa's car and heading for the bar. Inside, Clarke took a seat at the bar, breathing a sigh of relief for finally getting to just sit. “Hey, Lex!” Raven called from the other end of the bar, and Lexa tossed her a wave before beginning to make some drink or another. “Hey, Clarke. I thought you'd be going home right after work?”

Clarke just waved her hand at her friend. “I need to relax. Do you know if Octavia is coming here tonight?”

“Not sure,” Raven replied.

Clarke looked down at her phone, quickly typing out a text to her best friend.

**Clarke – You coming to the bar or going home?**

The blonde looked up from her phone to ask Lexa to make her a drink, but when she did look up, the brunette was setting a drink in front of her already. “One step ahead of you,” the brunette said, laughing at the blonde's surprise.

“Thanks,” Clarke said gratefully, before taking a long sip of the martini. She was beginning to realize that Lexa was pretty good at making them.

“No problem,” Lexa replied, smiling. “Adding it to your tab, though, that's not on the house.”

“As per usual.” The brunette started across the bar to help another customer, and Clarke looked down at her phone as it vibrated with a new text message.

**Oct-babe-via – I'll come to the bar, but can I come home w/ u 2nite? I need 2 talk to u about something.**

**Clarke – Of course. Is something wrong?**

**Oct-babe-via – Just need 2 talk about it. I'll tell u later. C u in a few minutes.**

Clarke frowned at her phone screen, but knew that there was no point in texting her friend about it now, because Octavia would be driving now. So she just sipped her martini and let herself get lost in her thoughts, settling into her seat and waiting for her best friend to arrive.

Octavia finally got there, but didn't announce herself like she usually did when she entered, which definitely indicated that she was not in her usual peppy mood. “Hey, O, what's going on?” Clarke asked, frowning at the brunette, who just let out a groan and collapsed onto the bar stool next to Clarke's. “I'll tell you later. Right now, I just need a drink. Raven?”

Raven looked toward the girl, blinking with surprise. “Oh, hey Octavia. Didn't hear you come in.”

“I need a drink,” Octavia pleaded, and Raven nodded without any questioning. Clarke immediately decided that she would be driving she and Octavia back to her place, and pushed her martini away from her a bit to keep herself from finishing it.

Raven gave Octavia a glass of something that smelled strong, and the brunette took it back like it was nothing. “Geez, Octavia,” Raven said, her eyes widening. “What's up?”

“I don't wanna talk about it,” she grumbled. “Another?”

“I'm cutting you off after three,” Raven stated, but grabbed the girl's drink and began to refill it. Clarke said nothing to her friend as she drank down the second one – over a few minutes, though, which was an improvement at least.

Lexa came over at some point and nodded to Clarke's drink. “Was it not good?”

“No, it was really good,” Clarke replied, “but I think I'm going to be driving, so.” She looked to her left at where Octavia was finishing up her second drink now.

“Want me to take it then?” Clarke nodded, and Lexa grabbed the half-finished drink off of the counter. “What's she drinking?”

“Raven knows,” Clarke replied, just shrugging.

Lexa went across the bar to her fellow bartender, and came back to make Octavia her third. Clarke's best friend took it gratefully, drinking it over a quick two minutes or so, and then Clarke quickly paid both of their tabs – knowing that Octavia would pay her back later – and dragged the brunette out of there after thanking Lexa again for the ride earlier.

They reached Clarke's building after a pretty quick drive, and once they were in the studio apartment, the brunette collapsed onto the bed unceremoniously. “Today was the worst day ever.”

“What happened?” Clarke asked softly, sitting on the side of her bed and trying to coax her friend into sitting up.

“Well first of all, you know how I finally got an assignment to write an article on Monday?” Octavia asked as she rolled over onto her side and looked at the blonde, who briefly remembered the conversation and nodded.

“It was due today, right?”

“Yeah, so this morning, bright and early, I brought it to my bitch boss, and she didn't even look at it before saying, 'Oh, I'm cutting your article from this week's paper. Sorry'.” Octavia quoted her boss with a high pitched voice. “I asked her why, and she wouldn't even give me a straight answer. I don't know what the fuck is stuck up her ass, but she needs to pull it out, because I've literally not had hardly any opportunity to actually benefit the paper. And I know that I'm new, but I'm perfectly capable of doing this job. That's why I fucking got it in the first place.”

Clarke frowned. “Did you ask your dad about it?”

“Hell no. I'm not going to be that person. Anna – that's my boss – would never let me live it down. Plus, he'd probably just tell me to deal with it. For all I know, he told that bitch to not let me write anything,” Octavia grumbled.

“There's no way that he would do that...”

“Why not? He's never believed in me. Anyway, I'd planned to have lunch with Bellamy today, because he and I have been trying to do that every now and then. I know that he and I don't know each other so well anymore, but like... he told me that I shouldn't expect to have it just handed to me... like, I guess I can't blame him for not knowing that that would just piss me off, but what the fuck? I've literally worked for years at being a journalist. I could've gotten a job anywhere else, and I'd be writing right now! I didn't think that this stupid job would be so fucking against me,” Octavia growled. “I thought that, if anything, working at my dad's place would be more beneficial. I guess not.”

“I don't think it's wrong of you to blame Bellamy for what he said, if you do. I mean, that is kind of discrediting to you and all of the work you've done. But I’m sure that things will get better at work. It’s still early in your start there, I wouldn’t let it get to you too much,” Clarke justified. “Sounds like you had a long day, though.”

“It doesn't stop there,” Octavia muttered, relaxing slightly against Clarke's pillow. “My mom texted me. I haven't been able to talk to her very much recently because of work and stuff, but she texted me like six times in a row, telling me to call her. So I did, and she told me that my grandma died today. Apparently, she fell this morning, and so my mom flew down to the retirement home she was living at in Florida, but by the time she got there, she'd passed away. They said heart failure.”

Clarke saw the tears that were welling in her best friends eyes, and immediately moved closer to the brunette, wrapping her arms protectively around her. “I'm so sorry, Octavia.”

“I called Bellamy to tell him, and he was sorry, but he barely knew her,” Octavia murmured, her voice trembling now. “I just... I'm realizing how separated he and I have been for so long now, and it's just so... shocking, I guess. So all of that stacked on top of each other is just... I don't know what do with myself, Clarke.”

“Let it out,” Clarke coaxed quietly, knowing that her best friend was slow to cry. Finally, though, she felt the brunette's body shaking slightly from her sobs, and she just held her tightly.

Half an hour later, when Octavia had fallen asleep, Clarke carefully released her hold on the girl and pulled her blankets up and around her. She then took a quick shower and readied herself for bed. As she about to crawl under the covers next to Octavia, her eye caught on her friend's phone, which had fallen out of her pocket.

Clarke grabbed it quickly and slipped into the bathroom. After a few quick strokes of her fingers, she held the phone up to her ear and waited a moment.

She heard when it picked up. “Octavia?” a sleepy voice muttered. “What's up?”

“Bellamy, it's Clarke.”

“Oh. Yeah, hi. What's up?”

“Look, I know that you and Octavia both want to catch up and stuff, right?” She heard a noise of confirmation. “And I'm glad that you're trying to connect with her. I just want you to know that she's having a really hard time. And she won't tell you that, but your mom's mom dying was her breaking point today. I know you didn't know her very well, but if you really want to connect with your sister again, you need to tread carefully.”

“Is she okay?” the natural brotherly concern was evident in his voice.

“She'll be okay,” Clarke replied, leaning against the cold wall. “She's at my place right now, passed out. I just wanted you to know.”

“Thanks, Clarke. I'll keep it in mind. I guess I didn't think about it.”

Clarke nodded. “Yeah, it's not really your fault. Sorry for waking you up.”

“It's no problem. I'll call her tomorrow,” Bellamy offered. “Goodnight, Clarke.”

“Night.” She hung up the phone and then slipped out of the bathroom, turning the light off behind her. After plugging her friend's phone into her spare charger, she collapsed into her bed alongside her best friend and slipped into a fast sleep.

A loud knock broke Clarke out of her sleep the following morning, and the curtains in between her bed and her windows were not enough to keep the bright light from also contributing to her awakening. “I'm coming,” she groaned, rolling off of her bed and hearing Octavia groan.

She swung the door open only to be immediately pushed aside as Raven stormed into the room. “You realize that you have work in like an hour, right?”

“Shit,” Clarke muttered, realizing that she'd forgotten her alarm, and quickly turning around and rushing for her dresser, and then her bathroom. As she began to get ready, she heard Raven talking to Octavia, probably wondering about the previous night. The sleepy brunette in Clarke's bed probably wasn't going to give their other friend much information, especially not when she'd just woken up, but Clarke knew that Raven was just concerned.

She left her two friends at her apartment once she ready to leave, because she knew that Octavia would lock up – she had the only spare key to Clarke's apartment. She had to pay for a cab to make it on time, but she didn't really care, since one pulled up next to her as soon as she hailed for one. She gave the guy the name of the place, and they were off.

Work at the gallery went smoothly, and Clarke was surprised as how easily she could joke around with her new employers. She got along with them very well in spite of how long she'd known them. During their lunch break, Anya and Lincoln were telling both Luna and Clarke stories from their childhood, when Clarke's phone suddenly rang.

One glance at it immediately made her stomach twist. “Would you guys excuse me for a minute, I have to take this.”

“Of course,” Anya agreed, and Clarke gave the three of them a smile before stepping out of the backroom where they ate lunch. She answered the phone, bringing it up to her ear.

“Hey, mom.”

“Hey, Clarke! How's New York these days? You hardly ever call me.” Abby Griffin, Clarke's mother, always sounded far too chipper when she asked about New York, considering that she hated the city.

Clarke leaned against the wall as she answered, “It's busy, as per usual. What's up? I'm on lunch break, so I don't have very long to talk.”

“Oh, that's no problem, I won't be long,” Abby promised. “You never got back to me about Thanksgiving.”

“That's in like two months, mom,” Clarke reminded her mother.

“Well if you're coming home, I want to make sure that I have plans ready.”

“I don't think I'll be able to make it. I'm on a kind of tight budget lately, and I'll probably be working on Thanksgiving,” the blonde replied, even though she knew that her mother was going to bring up college because of the mention of the budget. She was just glad that she omitted the part about not having a car, because her mother still didn't know about that one.

A sigh came through the phone. “I'm still not quite sure why you decided that being a waitress is more productive than being a doctor.”

“It's not being a waitress, mom, it's doing art.”

“Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before. That's a no on Thanksgiving then? How about Christmas?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “I'll probably come down for Christmas, but we might have to wait a little longer to see if I'll be able to make it.”

“Alright, well, let me know! Have a good day, sweetie!”

“Bye, mom.”

As she hung up the call, Anya, Lincoln and Luna were exiting the break room. “Ooh, a mom phone call. Those are always fun,” Luna commented.

“Oh yeah, so much fun,” Clarke agreed sarcastically, and Luna laughed lightly. “Tell me lunch is over, please. I need something to distract me from my mother.”

* * *

“He took me out to lunch and he let me talk about our grandma.”

“That's sweet,” Clarke said into her phone, squishing it between her shoulder and her ear as she straightened out her shirt, walking down the sidewalk, “so you’re not mad at him anymore?”

“No,” Octavia answered. “I actually feel quite a bit better, not gonna lie. It was nice to talk to someone who knew her, even if he wasn't as close as I was to her. My mom will be flying back to DC tomorrow and then I might take a road trip down to see her and make sure she's all good. Up for the drive?”

“I think I'll pass,” Clarke replied, holding her phone now. “My mom called me today about Thanksgiving, and I told her I'm staying up here to work, so if I randomly pop down there, she'll throw a fit.”

“Ah, you're not going home for Thanksgiving this year?” Octavia asked, and Clarke could practically see her eyebrows furrowing.

“I didn't go last year either,” Clarke reminded her best friend.

“I know, but I thought that you'd want to now that you're making more cash.”

Clarke sighed. “I don't really want to.” She checked the street and then quickly crossed the crosswalk to the other side of the road. “She still doesn't know about my no car situation thing, and working on Thanksgiving would actually be great, because I could probably make some good tips from people too lazy to make Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Wait, now you're not only staying here, but you're going to be working?” Octavia whined, as Clarke made a beeline for the bar.

“Thanksgiving isn't really that special of a holiday, Octavia,” Clarke insisted, as she made her way into the building.

“Ugh,” Octavia groaned. “Are you at least going home for Christmas?”

“Probably,” she replied, sitting down at one of the empty bar stools, “or else I'd be all alone, since I know that you'll be going back. Raven's probably going to fly back to Seattle to see her family.”

“When?” Raven's voice asked, drawing Clarke's gaze to where her friend was standing behind the bar.

Clarke lowered the phone a bit. “Christmas.”

“Why are you guys already talking about Christmas?”

“My mom called,” Clarke offered as explanation, before pulling her phone back up to ear.

“Alright, well, as long as you're going for Christmas, I guess I can't be mad. Just as a heads up, though, I'm taking off next Friday and driving down to DC until Sunday night to be with my mom,” Octavia said.

“Gotcha.”

“Alright, well, I've gotta drive, so I'll call you later!”

“Bye.” She hung up the phone, sliding it into her pants pocket, and looked up at Raven, who was mixing her a drink already. “How was your day, Rae?”

“Not bad,” Raven answered. “I stole some of your food this morning, though, so this drink is on the house.”

“How sweet,” Clarke said, laughing lightly.

Raven grinned, sliding the drink across the counter. “Is O coming here?”

“I don't think so,” Clarke replied. “I probably won't stay long either.” Her friend pouted. “Don't you have Lexa to keep you company?”

“She's in the bathroom right now, her shift just ended. Wick is coming in a few to be my bartender buddy,” Raven muttered, rolling her eyes. “Remember him?”

“Yeah, didn't he quit working here to go on to become some big time engineer or something?” Clarke recalled, furrowing her eyebrows. “He works here again?” Raven nodded, as someone called to her from the other side of the bar.

“Duty calls. Enjoy the drink.”

Clarke took a sip from it, and then her gaze shifted to the door from the back room, which was opening as Lexa slid out from it. The brunette's green eyes fell on Clarke. “Hey,” she chirped with a smile. “Just got out of work?”

“Yep,” Clarke replied. “You heading home?”

“I was going to,” Lexa replied, “but I don't really feel like it. Any chance you wanna keep me company for a couple of hours? I'll drive you home in exchange.”

A smile spread across Clarke's face. “Sounds better than what I had planned, so sure. Just lemme finish this drink so that it doesn't go to waste.”

Lexa smiled happily, and Clarke felt her heart do a tiny jump in her chest for reasons that she didn't think to try and comprehend. She finished up her drink, and then was following Lexa out of the bar.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this midweek update! It'll probably be the only one for a while. I'll update on Sunday and then continue on Sundays. But I was feeling it this week. Plus, things have been kind of crazy. With school and stuff yes, but also things in Texas are just kind of crazy anyway. My family lives pretty near to Houston, but they're completely fine and so is my house and my neighborhood. A lot of people I know, though, had to be evacuated from their homes, and now gas prices are up (which hasn't affected me but still) and all of the gas stations in my area and also most of them in my family's area are actually running out of gas. Plus apparently there might be another tropical storm hitting Texas next week. Agh. So much sad :(( If any of you guys were affected, I hope you will stay okay and wish the best for you <3 <3  
> I love you all, see you on Sunday! xx


	5. Can't Get You Out Of My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finds herself feeling more and more drawn to Lexa, and some time passes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> It's update time!!  
> Sorry this was almost late! It's been a busy weekend, I hope you all enjoyed it! To those of you in school in the US, hope you're enjoying your three day weekend! :D
> 
> Enjoy!! xx

**** “What kind of art do you usually do?” Lexa wondered as they drove through the city. Clarke wasn't exactly sure where they were going, but she didn't particularly care. And while she hadn't known Lexa for a long time, she figured that the number of interactions she'd had with her warranted her trust. After all, the woman had driven her multiple times.

“I paint,” Clarke replied, smiling out at the road, “and I draw. Sometimes they kind of go hand in hand, but yeah. I've been doing it since I was a kid.  It's the only thing that I can sit and do for hours and hours without getting bored.”

“I don't have anything like that,” Lexa admitted, “so it's pretty impressive to think that you could do that so much.”

Clarke nodded. “Yeah, but I don't get much time to do it anymore. My life has been anything but consistent since I graduated high school, and five years later, it's just gotten worse. I mean, my life isn't awful, there are just many improvements to be made, I guess.”

“Isn't that the same for everyone, though?” Lexa countered, casting Clarke a sideways glance. “If you're not trying to improve yourself or your life, what are you doing?”

“That's a good point,” Clarke agreed, “but it'd be nice to be doing it just to do it, and not because I can't support myself without doing it.”

Lexa nodded that she understood. “After I got my college degree and realized that I didn't want to be a psychologist, my life went to shit for a little while, too. Not really financially, because of my parents, but I was really lost. I actually traveled for a year, and I would've for longer, except my parents told me that they'd cut me off if I wasn't working.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, it wasn't really my best decision. When I got back, that's when Anya and Lincoln were opening the art gallery, so they gave me a job until I could be a bartender. I learned it from a girl I met in Europe – I'd never been much for drinking or mixing drinks until then,” Lexa explained. “I've reached the point where I don't really need my parents to pay for things for me, though, which is nice.”

“It was nice of them to do that, though,” Clarke commented, nodding. “Help you until you could help yourself. And it probably wasn't a bad decision that you went to travel. Sometimes people just need a break.”

Lexa flashed her a smile. “I hope you don't mind,” she said suddenly, nodding to the side of the street, where she was now parallel parking her car, “I'm kind of hungry. I haven't eaten since lunch.”

“No problem,” Clarke agreed, shrugging, “I haven't eaten in awhile, either.”

“Were you planning on drinking your dinner?” Lexa teased, and Clarke rolled her eyes, though her lips turned into a small smile.

“Usually I eat a snack when I get home.”

“You probably need way more food than you eat, Clarke,” Lexa insisted, putting her car in park and unbuckling her seat belt. “Please tell me that you're going to actually eat a meal for dinner since we're here. I’ll even pay.”

“Sure,” Clarke agreed, laughing lightly as she followed Lexa's movements and unbuckled her seatbelt before getting out of the car. “You don’t have to pay, though.”

“I’m the one who dragged you here, of course I’ll pay.”

Clarke decided not to argue with the brunette, because she had a feeling that she would lose in the end either way. Instead, she looked at the restaurant. “What's this place?” It was kind of small, nestled in between a couple of more important looking buildings.

“Just a small cafe. It's a nice break from working at the bar all day,” Lexa replied, shrugging and smiling. “Did you grow up in New York?”

Clarke shook her head as she entered the small cafe behind Lexa. “No, DC. Though, I used to visit New York a lot, so I might as well have. My dad had to come up for a week at a time sometimes for work. And when Octavia's parents divorced when we were kids, her dad moved up with her brother, and sometimes we'd go up to see them. Our families were really close, but her dad and brother started to drift away when it became harder to go up to New York a lot.”

They paused the conversation as they went up to the cafe counter and ordered some food, paying quickly before sitting down at one of the tables. Then, Lexa asked, “Why'd it get so hard?”

“Well, high school, for one. I was trying to keep my grades up to get into med school, and Octavia was starting to drift away from her dad. Besides that, my dad died when I was in eighth grade. New York always kind of reminded me of him during high school, so it was hard to come up here. It's why my mom hates this place, I think,” Clarke explained. “I love it, though.”

“I have mixed feelings,” Lexa admitted. “New York City is awesome and all, but sometimes I wish I lived somewhere quieter and with less traffic.”

Clarke out a light laugh, “That's fair.  Did you grow up here?”

Lexa nodded. “Not in the city, but about half an hour out from here. Went to college here, though, so it feels like home enough. Even after being gone for a year.”

“Must be pretty boring compared to Europe, though.” Clarke had always thought about visiting Europe, but if it seemed like a farfetched idea when she was younger, it was definitely out of reach for her right now. She could barely even get to DC on a good day, let alone across the ocean.

“There's nothing quite like New York City,” Lexa said, smiling a half smile. A waiter suddenly brought out their food, and both girls thanked him before quietly starting to eat. It wasn't a strange quiet between them, though, just a calm, empty air. It was much different from Clarke's everyday life. It was nice.

They started talking again about halfway through their meal, though, not about anything important. It was relaxing for Clarke, though, not thinking about all of the drama in her life. Talking to Lexa was sort of always like that, just carefree.

After finishing their respective meals, they got up from the table and left the little cafe. Instead of going straight for Lexa's car, though, they sat on the steps of a closed shop and just talked. It truly was a break from the real world, and one that Clarke needed. Lexa was easy to talk to - it was almost scary how easy it was. The pauses in their conversation were few and far between, but the ones that did happen weren’t even awkward, rather they were peaceful. Clarke didn’t want it to end, but about an hour later, Lexa was dropping Clarke off in front of her apartment building, and after a small wave goodbye, Clarke was back in the regular world, feeling as bland as ever.

She sighed as she let herself into her studio apartment and dropped her keys and her wallet on the table by her front door. Ten minutes later, she was showered and dressed in pajamas and passed out on her bed. The break from her life had been nice, but the next morning, she would be shoved back into it, and she had to be ready.

* * *

The weeks that followed were hardly any different from that one. Clarke found herself working at the restaurant she'd been slaving at for months every day of the week, and at the gallery every weekend. In her slivers of free time, she was usually either at her place or Octavia's, and she spent usually at least one night a week at the bar with Raven and Lexa.

Raven, though, found herself working less and less at the bar, because she got a job offer from Columbia University to work in the technology department. The girl had gone to college to learn mechanics and electronic engineering and things of the like, but since, she had hardly mentioned it at all. After appearing at the bar couple of shifts fewer than normal, Raven finally came out and told both Clarke and Octavia that she'd been working on getting a job somewhere to do what she actually wanted to do, and obviously, Clarke and Octavia gave her nothing but encouragement.

So as Raven stopped working at the bar as often and instead at the university, Clarke's nights out were spent drinking and talking with Lexa when she wasn't actively working. It was honestly the most relaxing time that Clarke had during her stressful weeks. She could just laugh and smile and not think about work or her finances or her family.

As would be expected, Clarke became very good friends with Lexa. It was a different sort of friendship than the ones Clarke was used to with Raven and Octavia. Lexa wasn't the kind of person to barge into her apartment and whip Clarke into shape – she was a gentler sort of friend. Clarke could talk to her about hard things without fear of blunt criticism – though that of her best friends wasn't really mean per se, just blunt. Lexa could listen without always trying to fix problems that she knew she couldn't do anything about – she would instead make light of them. It was refreshing, a sort of interaction that made Clarke see lights at the end of dark tunnels. The end of the week was never daunting, because even though they led into another long week, there was always a break, where Clarke would get to see Lexa. Plus, there was just  _ something _ about Lexa, and though Clarke couldn’t exactly pinpoint it, it kept drawing her to the brunette. A week without seeing Lexa would feel… empty.

It was midway through October now, and New York City was getting colder. It was becoming harder for Clarke to walk from work to the bar, but she was finding herself building a saving for a car. It wasn't enough yet, but she was getting there and it was good just to know that her situation was getting better rather than worse.

It was a cold Saturday – one of Octavia's days off – that Clarke took a day off from work at the art gallery. Anya had said that it was going to be a slow day, which it did turn out to be, and insisted that Clarke take the day off as a paid vacation day. Clarke could hardly object – by that point she was in desperate need of one.

“I can't believe that we both have a day off today, and we're literally just laying on your bed,” Octavia groaned. The two of them were laying side by side, with their heads at opposite ends of the bed, staring up at nothing.

“Honestly, I can't find it myself to want to actually do something other than just lay here,” Clarke muttered. “I've literally not stopped working for like a month straight. Plus, it’s fucking freezing outside.”

“Every other time that you have time to yourself you go out,” Octavia reasoned. “You're hardly ever here.”

“Exactly,” Clarke insisted. “There's nothing stressful about just being here.”

“And it's stressful sitting on a bar stool taking sipping a beer for hours?” Octavia asked back, raising her eyebrows.

“Well, no,” Clarke said, shaking her head. “Especially not when Lexa's working – that's not stressful. But there's just something more peaceful about the quiet here. You know?”

“Mmhmm,” Octavia hummed, closing her eyes. “Lexa seems pretty cool. I've been writing so much on the weekends that sometimes even when I want to go to hang out at the bar with you, I find myself up so late when I'm finally done that I just immediately fall asleep. So I guess I don't know her as well as you do, but I'm glad you have another friend to hang out with. I feel like all of our lives have just gotten so... cluttered and crazy.”

“I feel that way too,” Clarke said, letting out a long sigh. “But yeah, Lexa's cool. It's easy to talk to her, and it kind of pulls me out of reality. She makes all of the stress kind of disintegrate.”

“Sounds nice,” Octavia commented, leaning up a bit and peeking over at her blonde friend, whose blue eyes were trained on the blank ceiling. “You going down to the bar tonight?”

“Probably,” Clarke answered. “You wanna join?”

“Yeah, might as well.”

Their day ended up being surprisingly nice – they hung out and watched movies and talked. Clarke ended up drilling Octavia about a guy that she said she'd met at her work who she was possibly interested in. That, of course, led to Octavia diverging the conversation by asking Clarke if she was interested in anyone. Clarke had answered with an immediate no, but her best friend had given her a look like she suspected otherwise. Clueless, the blonde had shaken it off.

At about eight, they took Octavia's car down to the bar after calling Raven and insisting that she join them. She'd been working a lot at the university, but since it was Saturday night, she gave in.

When they got there, they found Anya, Lincoln and Luna there as well, talking animatedly. Octavia and Raven didn't know them as well as Clarke did, of course, but the two groups had converged a couple of times over the past month. It was actually kind of weird for Clarke to be the sort of connecting point between two groups of people. She wasn't really used to it.

And of course, Lexa was at the bar working.

“Didn't think I'd see you here today,” Lexa admitted to Clarke, sliding her the martini she'd been making the moment before. “I heard you took the day off.”

Clarke nodded. “I needed it, and Octavia had the day off, too, so it was nice to take a break. I'm just used to coming here every Saturday, so I guess I just didn't see reason to not.”

“Well, I'm glad to see you here of course,” Lexa chimed, smiling. Her attention was drawn to the other side of the bar. “I'll be right back.  Wick decided to take his twenty minute break half an hour ago,  and he's not back yet.”

“Lame,” Clarke said, getting a nod from the brunette before she made her way to other customers.

Octavia nudged Clarke, drawing the blonde's attention. “So, what's up with you and the hot bartender then?”

“What?” Clarke asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Oh come on, Clarke, you can't ever take your attention off of her when you're talking to her,” Octavia insisted.

“Uh, that's not true,” she argued, shaking her head. “Anyway, it's ridiculous to think that anything would be going on. You know me, O, and I've never had feelings like that toward a girl before.” She was speaking very hushed now, because this was not a conversation that she particularly wanted to be overheard.

“I know, but... I don't know, I just feel like I see something there when you guys are talking,” Octavia said, shrugging. “Whatever, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. No point in pushing something that's not there.”

“Thanks.” Clarke appreciated that her best friend could drop the topic, but now that it had been brought up at all, Clarke found her thoughts in a whirlwind. Had Octavia somehow picked up on absolutely nothing, or had she actually seen something that Clarke hadn't noticed? Octavia, being a journalist, was generally pretty good at reading people and situations, but Clarke was sure that she was wrong about this. She had to be. It made no sense that Clarke would have any feelings for Lexa in any way other than perfectly platonic friendship.

Despite becoming friends, Lexa and Clarke hadn't been hanging out every possible second. On top of Clarke's weekly bar visit, sometimes Lexa gave her rides, and they’d gone back to that cafe once on a Friday night they were both off. They'd just hung out and talked though, nothing else. Their schedules crossed too much for much else. At least, that's what Clarke assumed, though neither of them had really made much effort to uncross them. How, then, could it be possible for Clarke to have feelings like Octavia was implying?

Coming to the conclusion that it was just in Octavia's head, Clarke let herself drop the thought and took a sip of her margarita.

“You okay there?” Lexa's voice was asking suddenly, and Clarke blinked herself out of her daze.

“Yeah, fine. Got lost in my thoughts,” she said, smiling at the brunette who nodded in response.

“Are you going to need a ride tonight?” Lexa wondered. “I get off at ten.”

Clarke looked to Octavia, who was laughing at something with Raven while she sipped her drink. She concluded that Octavia would probably end up taking a cab back to her apartment, leaving Clarke with no options to get back to her own apartment. She looked back at Lexa. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

At ten, Raven had already left the bar and Octavia was calling a cab. Anya had left about an hour earlier, and Lincoln and Luna were talking quietly to each other in the loud bar. Lexa slipped into the back of the bar and returned with her stuff. “You ready to go?” she asked Clarke, who nodded and hopped off of the bar stool.

Octavia caught her arm. “Bye, Clarke,” she slurred. The girl had had probably a bit too much to drink in the past couple of hours, but she had Sunday off as well, so it wasn't the end of the world for her.

“Bye, Octavia,” Clarke replied, laughing lightly. “Text me when you get home, okay? Or call, either way.”

“Mkay, love you.”

“Love you too, O,” Clarke said, still grinning. She then followed Lexa out of the bar and to the girl's car. “I think Octavia had a good night.”

Lexa smiled. “Did you?”

“Always,” Clarke replied. “When I'm not working, that's a good night. Plus my day was really chill and nice, which was great. Checked my bank account this morning, too. It's literally more full than it's been in like a year and a half.”

“That's always good.” They got into Lexa's car, and the brunette pulled it out of its parking spot. “Getting a car soon then?”

“Sooner rather than later, but I don't know when yet,” Clarke admitted.

“Guess that means you won't need rides anymore,” Lexa commented, giving Clarke a sidelong glance.

“Yeah, that will definitely be one of the results. We'll have to find some other way to hang out,” Clarke joked, getting a smile from the brunette. “Oh, are you doing anything on Halloween weekend?”

“Probably working,” Lexa answered, quirking up an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Octavia always throws some Halloween party thing. It'd be cool if you came. I'm going to invite Anya and Lincoln and Luna, too. It used to be like a really big thing when O was in college, but it got kind of smaller over the past few years. She told me to basically invite anyone this year, so,” Clarke offered as explanation. “I don't know, if you wanna come...”

“Yeah, it sounds fun,” Lexa replied. “I'll have to weave it around my work schedule, though. I shouldn't be working too late on that Saturday, though.”

“Awesome,” Clarke said. The car became silent, and unlike their typical drives, Clarke found herself feeling like there was some sort of tension between them. She wondered if she was making it up, because Lexa seemed totally at ease as she drove through the streets of New York City.

“Are you sure you're okay?” Lexa asked suddenly, snapping Clarke out of her daze. “You keep kind of like... zoning out or something. Is something bothering you?”

“What? No.” Clarke swallowed thickly, because she was sure that something was bothering her – why else would she be feeling this weird tension. “I don't know, I guess I'm just kind of in a weird mindset today since I didn't work. But I'm okay, really.”

“If you say so,” Lexa said, looking slightly concerned. Clarke looked up and realized that Lexa was stopping in front of her apartment building. “I'll see you sometime?”

Clarke smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem, of course,” Lexa returned. Clarke got out of the car into the cold air. Starting up to the entrance of her apartment, she scolded herself for being so weird. There was nothing to be weird over, everything was the same as it had been before Octavia questioned whether or not Clarke had feelings for Lexa. Nothing had changed, not within Clarke, and not within Lexa, and not between them by any means. Lexa was great yes, and yeah sometimes Clarke just felt weirdly drawn to her, but that didn’t mean anything. That’s how friendships worked. Not everything had to be complicated or more than what it was on the surface. And Clarke was sure that nothing had changed.

But as Clarke opened the door to the building and glanced back momentarily, seeing Lexa wait until she was in the building before driving away, something in her chest made her heart stop for a moment.

And what the fuck did that mean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know if you have any feedback!! xx Have a great week! I'll see you guys next Sunday!


	6. At The End Of The Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia is having a Halloween party!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies, sorry this is kind of late! It's been a weird weekend to be honest - to follow up a weird week. I'm sure I have plenty of rants in me, but I'll spare you all the effort of reading them lol. Anyway, I found a good chunk of time to write for this story this weekend as well as finishing homework, so I'm in a pretty good mood now!!
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** “Which one should we watch?” Octavia asked, shuffling through the DVDs in her hands.

“How about none of them?” Raven suggested, her eyes on her phone as she scrolled through something or another. “None of us even like horror movies.” Clarke found herself nodding in agreement, but her best friend huffed.

“It's a Halloween party, you guys! We have to watch a horror movie. And it's more than just us this year. We have to do more than sit in a circle and be on our phones,” Octavia snapped. “So help me pick a fucking movie.”

“Chill out,” Raven insisted, locking her phone and dropping it as she leaned forward, looking at the choices that Octavia had. “Okay well... that one looks the least scary.”

“You're right,” Octavia agreed, before tossing it aside, “so not that one.”

“C'mon, O,” Clarke whined. “Even you get terrified when we watch horror movies. The last time we did was literally two years ago on Halloween, and you made me cuddle with you for the entire rest of the night because you were so scared.”

Octavia rolled her eyes, setting down the stack of movies and getting up off of her couch, where the three of them had been squished together on. “Well, I have matured. Anyway, what better way to get to know all of our newest friends than see how they act during a horror movie?”

“Okay, I've already gotten to know them,” Clarke insisted.

Raven shook her head. “Not all of them. I have people coming too.” Octavia nodded, looking at the blonde pointedly.

“See? None of us knows everyone coming.”

“Who did you invite?” Clarke wondered, deciding that she hardly cared about the horror movie situation anyway. She wasn't as scared as either of her friends by the movies, and she trusted that she'd be fine no matter what, even if she did scream at some jump scares.

“A couple of guys that work with me at the university. Well, actually, they sort of work there. Part time. They're both still in their last year of college,” Raven explained.

Octavia nodded again. “Which is why we have to actually have a cool party. We can't seem like just because we're not in college anymore that we're not fun.”

“If these guys work with Raven in a nerd lab, I'm pretty sure that they can't have that high of standards,” Clarke joked, snickering as Raven sent her a death glare. “Am I wrong?”

“I don't know what kind of parties they go to,” Raven said, shaking her head. “I mean... they are sort of nerds, but...”

Huffing, Octavia crossed her arms. “Whatever, it doesn't matter what we watch. Nothing really matters as long as we have alcohol. Party's in an hour, one of you is coming to the store with me to get some liquor so that we don't have to sip stupid beer all night. Third person stays here in case anyone gets here early.”

“I'll stay,” Raven offered, relaxing deeper into Octavia's couch.

Clarke smirked, getting up off of the couch to grab her bag and go with her best friend to the store, “You sure you wanna stay?” She picked up one of the horror DVDs. “An axe murderer might come and get you.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Raven snapped, grabbing the DVD away from Clarke.

Octavia rolled her eyes. “We'll be back. Come on, Clarke.”

On their way to the store, Octavia cast Clarke a sidelong glance. “Is Lexa coming?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Have you two hung out very much since that day you had off?” Octavia questioned, and Clarke was starting to dread the fact that she'd admitted to Octavia a few days prior that her mind was so confused about how she felt in regards to Lexa.

“We talked yesterday,” Clarke admitted. “I went to the bar after work for a few minutes, to make sure she was coming tonight.”

“Don't you guys have each other’s' phone numbers?”

“Yes?”

“So why don't you ever text her?” Octavia wondered, curious.

Clarke shrugged. “I don't know. We just don't text.”

“I bet you'd be great at text flirting.”

Huffing, the blonde crossed her arms over her chest. “O, I don't tell you things so that you can bug me about them forever.”

“Yes you do, that's what best friends are for,” Octavia insisted, glancing at Clarke with a wide grin. “Okay, get your phone out. Text her and make sure she has my address.”

“I gave it to her last night,” Clarke deadpanned.

Octavia shook her head. “I don't care, Clarke, that's not the point. The point is, you're going to start a text thing going. That way, after tonight, the text conversation is already there, and it's like an opening to actual communication.”

“You know, it's pretty sad that your definition of actual communication is via a text message,” Clarke muttered, though she was obeying her best friend and retrieving her phone. “She's going to think I'm weird, or she's going to make fun of me since I literally gave her the address last night.”

“People lose things.”

“Lexa doesn't,” Clarke insisted.

**Clarke – You still have Octavia's address, right?**

She hit send without letting herself think it over, because if she thought too much about it, she knew that she wouldn't text the brunette that she was possibly having feelings for. “So what if I do actually like her? What then?”

“Use your powers of seduction to coax her into your bed?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “It's not like that, Octavia. I know what it feels like to just want to have sex with someone. If I do have feelings for Lexa, they go beyond just sex. And I have no idea what to do with feelings like that. I haven't even tried to be in a real relationship since before I dropped out of college.”

“Oh yeah, you dated that ass hat Finn, right?”

“Yes, but that's beside the point, Octavia.” They were pulling up in front of the local liquor store, and Octavia found a spot along the sidewalk with a two hour meter. As they got out, she started its timer and Clarke followed her into the store. “I don't even know if she could possibly have feelings toward me like that.”

“I don't know why you think you're still indecisive about how you feel about her,” her best friend, rolling her eyes as she grabbed a bottle of tequila off of the shelf. “You literally can't stop worrying about what's going to happen with her. You definitely like her.”

“Okay, so what the fuck do I do with that?” Clarke demanded, but Octavia didn't answer, seeing as she was paying for the bottle and busy fumbling with her ID. A few minutes later, though, they were walking out of the store, and Clarke demanded. “Well?”

“I don't know, Clarke,” Octavia finally said, letting out a huff of air. “Talk to her about it? There's nothing for me to go off of to give you advice.”

As they got back into Octavia's car, Clarke's phone vibrated.

**Lexa – Yeah, I have it. :) Don't worry, I've lived in the city long enough to not get too lost. ;)**

Clarke felt the corner of lips quirk up, but she immediately straightened them out as she realized that Octavia was looking at her. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“You just read a text.”

“No I didn't.”

“Clarke.”

The blonde sighed. “Yeah, Lexa answered me.” She showed the text to her friend, who smirked as she finally took her car out of park. “I hate texting,” Clarke groaned.

“Why?”

“It's like... different than talking to someone. You can't tell how people are actually feeling or what they meant to sound like. I hate that people have different levels of like... caution and bravery when it comes to texting,” Clarke admitted. “It's just so much different than talking in person.”

“Look, Clarke. I'm pretty sure that you and I both know that you have some sort of romantic feelings for Lexa. And yeah, that's new to you, and it's new for me to have to give you advice about it. Honestly, all you can do is keep talking to her and if you want it to go somewhere, anywhere, just do what you've been doing. When the time comes to push out of the friend zone, do it,” Octavia insisted.

Clarke smiled at her friend, whose eyes were glued on the road as she gave the advice. “This is why I love you.”

“Why? Because without me, you'd be about ten times more of a wreck than you already are?” Octavia asked teasingly, flashing her friend a wide smile.

“Fuck you.” They sat in a comfortable silence as Octavia drove and Clarke went to send another text back to Lexa.

**Clarke – I'll see you soon then. Hope you like horror movies.**

**Lexa – Would you be surprised to hear that I actually don't? I'm like a little kid when it comes to jump scares. I might need to bring my blanket to hide under!**

Clarke felt the corner of her lips turning up, because she could actually hear Lexa talking as she read the text. That made it feel more like actual communication, because unlike Octavia, Clarke saw more value in a face to face conversation. Though, she had a feeling that texting Lexa would not end up being too weird.

**Clarke – I think O has plenty of blankets for you to hide under, don't worry. Plus, she and Raven are literally the worst with horror movies.**

**Lexa – Don't tell me that you actually like them? :O**

**Clarke – I don't, but they don't bother me very much. Looks like I'm going to be protecting everyone from nonexistent axe murderers tonight.**

**Lexa – We're watching an axe murder horror movie? Fuck my life. Seriously, kill me now.**

**Clarke – See you soon ;)**

She only ended the text conversation because they were now back at Octavia's apartment building, and the last thing Clarke needed was for her other best friend to be questioning why she was texting with a half-smile permanently stuck on her face.

“So, already into the texting thing, I see?” Octavia teased as they headed back up to her apartment.

“Shut up,” Clarke said bashfully, a tinge of pink appearing on her cheeks. They got to the apartment, and found Raven still alone, spread out across the couch and looking quite comfy.

“Got the booze?”

“Yes,” Octavia replied, setting down the bottle of alcohol on her coffee table and then collapsing on top of Raven on the couch.

“O! Get the fuck off of me!”

“You're the one on my couch!” Octavia reminded the other girl, relaxing comfortably on top of the squirming girl. “You make a good cushion.”

Clarke couldn't help the grin on her face as she watched her friends fighting for space on the couch, and she grabbed the bottle of alcohol and brought it into Octavia's small kitchen. She pulled out all the shot glasses that her friend had in one of the cabinets and set them out, making  sure there were enough for all of the people coming.

She heard Raven and Octavia still pushing each other around on the couch when there was suddenly a knock on the door.  “Get the door, O, and get off of me,” Raven growled, pushing her the other brunette, who looked determined not to move. Rolling her eyes, Clarke stepped out of the kitchen and headed to the door.

Upon opening it, she saw Bellamy with a girl, who Clarke assumed Octavia had given the okay to come. “Hey,” Clarke greeted with a smile. “Octavia's sort of occupied, come on in.”

Bellamy didn't look surprised to see his twin sister shoving Raven off of the couch completely at that point, the other girl with a scowl painted on her face. “Hey, Bell!” Octavia chirped, smiling at her brother from her repossessed couch. “And you must be Echo, it's nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” the girl – Echo – replied, smirking at Raven, who was scrambling up off of the floor.

“Are we early?” Bellamy questioned.

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Doesn't matter. Please tell me that you guys wanna watch a horror movie tonight.”

During the next half hour, everyone else showed up. Raven's friends, Jasper and Monty, showed up after Bellamy, followed by Lexa, and then Anya, and Lincoln and Luna both showed up last as well. Octavia seemed pleased by the size of the group they'd managed to scrounge together, even if so many of them hardly knew one another.

Despite the tequila, everyone started off with a beer, and they sat around Octavia's living room talking and sort of getting to know one another. Since the brunette only had a single couch and a chair, well over half of them ended up sitting around on the floor and not really caring. It was fun, since everyone knew at least a few other people, which made it easy for everyone to start to get to know one another.

Jasper, one of the guys that Raven had invited, suggested after about half an hour of them all sipping beers and talking that they instead use the time and alcohol to play Never Have I Ever. No one objected, and Clarke felt a spark of excitement, as if she were in college again. It had been a while since she had been, anyway.

“This should be fun,” Clarke said, looking to Lexa, who she'd been sitting next to on the floor. The brunette flashed her a smile and raised an eyebrow.

“Got something to hide?”

Clarke was slightly surprised by the tone of voice that the other girl used, which made Clarke's cheeks flush pink. “No. Do you?”

“Nothing.”

“Earth to Clarke and Lexa,” Octavia said, snapping her fingers and drawing a blue gaze back to the rest of the people in the room. Lexa took a beat longer to divert her attention, and Clarke felt her heart suddenly beating far too quickly. “Okay, who's going first?”

“Never have I ever been out of the country,” Monty said, shrugging his shoulders as a handful of people in the group took a drink – Lexa, Anya, and Lincoln.

Jasper was scoffing at his friend. “Are you serious? That's so boring.”

“I thought we'd start it of simple.”

“You can't get to know people through saying simple things,” Jasper insisted, waving his hand at his friend and causing Raven to smirk. Everyone eagerly awaited Jasper's statement. “Never have I ever had sex in a closet.”

“Here we go,” Clarke muttered, rolling her eyes as she found her beer moving to her lips to take a drink. The only other person to take a drink in the group was Octavia. Go figure.

“Whoa, explain,” Raven said, to both of them.

“You want a play by play?” Clarke demanded, raising her eyebrows at her friend, who huffed. “It was a while ago, during college.”

“Same,” Octavia said.

Suddenly, Echo let out a snicker. “Did you two have sex with each other?”

Clarke's face turned bright red. “No!” she exclaimed, as Octavia let out a loud laugh at the question.

“We're close,” Octavia said, “and I may have seen Clarke naked more than once, but we have not had sex.”

“I don't think either of them swing that way,” Raven commented, and Clarke suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. These were the few times that she wished that she had been more open when she realized that she was bisexual – because Lexa was sitting next to her with her intense green eyes suddenly focused on her, as Raven said something that wasn't true.

“I mean,” Clarke said, finding herself surprised as she spoke, “I'm not highly opposed...”

Raven was scowling. “Do you never tell me things?”

“There's really nothing to tell,” Clarke insisted, rolling her eyes and still feeling Lexa's eyes on her.

“Anyway,” Anya said, since she was sitting next to Jasper and was the next one to go, “to keep it on a similar topic, never have I ever had sex with someone of my same gender.”

Now, Clarke couldn't drink. She hadn't ever actually had sex with a girl, even if she had come close. She expected no one to drink, honestly, but she found her heart speeding up as she noticed Lexa lifting her beer to her lips. She then found her jaw dropping as Octavia also drank. “Octavia!” she exclaimed.

“What?” the brunette demanded. “I totally told you about it. It was years ago.” Clarke narrowed her eyes, not sure whether or not her best friend had actually said anything about it. “Anyway, I'm not the only one.”

Clarke glanced at Lexa, who just shrugged. “I'm not really into guys.”

“She’s honestly been the gayest person I've known since she was about eleven years old,” Anya offered, and Clarke found herself smiling as Lexa flushed and rolled her eyes. Seeming to realize that she'd embarrassed the brunette, even though she had obviously meant to, Anya leaned into her brother and said, “Your turn.”

Lincoln toned it back some, saying, “Never have I ever lost my phone for more than a day.” Clarke took a moment to register what he had asked, because Octavia was looking her with a pointed look, and she knew that her best friend was making sure that she'd heard Lexa correctly.

Lexa didn't like guys. Presumably, that meant she liked girls instead. Which meant that Clarke had a shot, maybe.

“That's such a boring question,” Jasper muttered, but he took a drink, as did most people in the group.

Octavia didn't, though, and she gaped at everyone around her. “How can you survive if you don't have your phone for a whole day?”

“There are actually other forms of communication, Octavia,” Bellamy reminded her, shaking his head.

Luna laughed lightly. “One time I lost my phone for a day and a half, and Lincoln got so frustrated that he almost went and bought me a new one. Turns out that it was actually under my dresser. No idea how it ended up there.”

“I still think you did it on purpose,” Lincoln muttered, and everyone in the room laughed lightly.

Luna was next, and she said, “Never have I ever said 'I love you' if I didn't mean it.”

“Well, shit just got real,” Clarke muttered, taking back a drink. She was the only one to do so, and everyone was looking at her curiously, aside from Raven and Octavia. They both knew what had gone down between her and her stupid boyfriend, who she dated during college for nearly a year before things went to hell. “It's complicated,” she said, waving her hand as if to dismiss the topic.

Lexa was next to Luna, and Clarke looked expectantly to her to start the next round so that everyone would stop wondering about Clarke's situation. The girl seemed to understand and quickly said, “Never have I ever been stood up.”

“Lucky you,” Raven scoffed, drinking. Monty and Anya both also sipped their beer, and Lexa gaped at her friend.

“Someone stood you up? Did you murder them?”

Anya smirked. “I yelled at him a lot over the phone the next day, but he was such a cowardly, pretentious ass that I never even saw him in public again.”

“Remind me never to get on her bad side,” Clarke said, her eyes slightly wide as she looked at Lexa, who returned the petrified look with an amused smile.

“She likes you, so I'm sure that won't happen very easily. Plus, if she doesn't have enough people to help run her precious art gallery, she'll be absolutely screwed.”

“Not true. We functioned before Clarke.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Barely.”

Clarke laughed lightly and then realized that it was her turn to go. “Never have I ever.... been the cause of a car accident, fender bender or worse.”

“You don't have a fucking car!” Raven exclaimed, angrily taking a drink of her beer.

“She has a point,” Lexa commented, nudging the blonde, who just gave her a wide smile. Then she looked back at her friend.

“I used to,” she offered. She looked to Bellamy and said, “You should probably go, before Raven bursts a blood vessel.”

“Never have I ever slept with someone whose name I didn't know.”

Clarke found herself frowning as she took a drink, and watched as both of her best friends took one as well, followed by Anya and Jasper. Even though more than just her had taken a drink, it still felt awkward. Maybe it was because Lexa was right next to her.

That's when she realized how much she was worried that Lexa would judge her. She knew that it was unlikely, and that if she did judge her, then that would say something about her as a person that Clarke would need to know. But the brunette kept looking at her, and Clarke wished that they were by themselves, so she could explain herself or at least know what Lexa was thinking.

No one questioned anyone on that one, however, and everyone who had taken a drink looked grateful.

“Never have I ever,” Echo started, looking suspiciously around the circle, “hooked up with or been sexually attracted to a teacher or professor.”

At first, no one drank, but Clarke narrowed her eyes at Octavia. “Drink, you were so obsessed with your journalism professor.”

Octavia flushed and furrowed her eyebrows. “Fine, then you need to drink from junior year. And you know which teacher I'm talking about.” Clarke did know – it was one of her girl teachers, who taught English. The girl had only been about twenty-six, and she had been one of the first girls that Clarke had ever been attracted to.

They both took a drink.

Octavia was next and she smiled excitedly. “Okay... so, never have I ever been walked in on while masturbating or having sex.”

Clarke wondered for a moment if she was going to be the only one to drink, but she noticed Lexa drinking next to her. They both looked at one another curiously, and Clarke offered, “Octavia likes to bust into my apartment.”

“Happened to me in Europe,” was all Lexa offered in explanation. They both laughed lightly and then looked back into the group.

Raven cleared her throat. “Never have I ever imagined what it would be like to kiss someone in this room.”

Clarke's heart froze for a moment, and though she considered lying, she found herself taking a sip from her beer.

Lincoln and Luna both drank, unsurprisingly, and so did Bellamy and Echo, though everyone had already sort of suspected that the two of them were together, even if they hadn't really said anything about it. The interesting part was when Clarke realized that Lexa had also taken a drink, and Octavia's eyes were locked with Clarke's. The blonde knew what message she was trying to send, and Clarke had a feeling that a few other people in the group suspected what Octavia was assuming. Jasper, as well, had also taken a drink.

However, none of it could be questioned, because Monty was finally asking another question, and the game continued.

It went on for quite a while, until all of the best questions had been asked, and they all decided that it would be better to just quit while they were ahead. That was when Octavia declared that they would be watching a horror movie in an hour and that she wanted to take some shots before then.

Raven moved across the room to Octavia's sound system and began to play some music as Octavia headed into her kitchen for the tequila and shot glasses. Jasper jumped up to help her, and Clarke snickered.

“What?” Lexa asked, drawing the blonde's gaze to her.  Lexa's eyes, intense as always, were focused on Clarke's, and the blonde found herself licking her lips before talking, without even meaning to.

“Ah, Jasper. I think he has a crush on Octavia,” she said, causing Lexa's gaze to jump over to the two of them grabbing the shot glasses from the kitchen. When they started back, Jasper's gaze dropped obviously to Octavia's ass, and Lexa smirked.

“I think you're right,” she agreed. “Is that tequila?”

“Yep,” Clarke answered. “I'm not the biggest fan.”

“Same,” Lexa agreed, shrugging her shoulders, “though it's not the worst hard alcohol there is. No shots for you then?”

“I don't think Octavia will let me go without any shots,” she replied, and she was proven correct as her best friend suddenly called her name. “This should be a fun night.”

Lexa smiled. “Just wait until we watch that movie later. I might actually have to hide under a blanket. I was not kidding earlier. I'm like a little kid when it comes to horror movies.”

Clarke found herself grinning as she pictured Lexa terrified from a movie. “Aw, well I'll be sure to protect you.” She bit down on her lower lip as she saw a slight blush spreading across Lexa's cheeks. After the game they'd just played, she had reason to believe that Lexa did return the feelings that Clarke was pretty sure that she was feeling.

“Clarke,” Octavia whined, “take shots with us.”

Clarke tore her gaze away from Lexa's. “Fine, I'm coming.” She made her way over to the coffee table for shots, but she could still feel Lexa's gaze burning into her back, and she wondered where this night would take them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeee :D Originally, I think this chapter was connected to the next chapter, which is actually a bit short. I'm going to hopefully make the next chapter longer to compensate for it, but I didn't want to put them together or make this one any shorter to fix that.  
> Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely week!! I'm going to try to post more on Twitter starting this week, because I've been pretty MIA recently. I've been pretty busy ahah.  
> I love you all! xx


	7. Up In The Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of the party!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> I'm so sorry that this chapter is short! It was originally even shorter, but I lengthened it some to get a bit deeper and to keep it from being ridiculously short. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it super long, because there just wasn't as much content I felt that I could add without it getting boring or unnecessary. I promise that all future chapters will be far longer!  
> I have a bit to say in the end notes, but for now..
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

The first round of shots were fine, and after lighthearted banter between the group for about ten minutes following, their second round came. Anya got Lexa to join them, using the fact that it was Halloween as justification, though Clarke had a feeling that Lexa considered that as bullshit. Either way, the brunette partook in the next round, and everyone's heads were starting to float a bit.

Conversation flowed easily between everyone in the group, despite the fact that some of them hardly knew each other at all. Bellamy was beginning to fit in well with Octavia's friends. He'd been gone for so long, and Clarke had barely known him before he left New York anyway. Echo seemed to fit pretty easily as well, though she was nearly as snarky as Raven, which made for some interesting banter and causes of laughter.

The fact that Clarke knew most everyone to some extent made things easier for her. Jasper and Monty were easy to get along with, too. They seemed to be more nerdy than Raven, something Clarke found amusing, but they were also pretty cool.

Throughout most of it, though, Clarke felt almost like a subconscious tug toward a certain brunette. Anytime Lexa was talking, Clarke was focused on her and nobody else. Even when the woman wasn’t talking, Clarke would find herself getting distracted by her. She was completely sure that Octavia noticed, but her friend said nothing about it, which Clarke would have to thank her for later. No one else seemed to notice, not even Lexa really, although if she did, she probably wouldn’t have said anything about it anyway.

Alcohol continued to flow during the period of conversation, and then it all ended when Octavia finally announced, “Okay! Clarke, Raven and I picked a movie earlier.”

“You mean you picked a movie earlier,” Raven corrected, rolling her eyes and taking a long sip of her beer. “We didn't want to watch any horror movies.”

“But horror movies are so much fun!” Jasper exclaimed.

“I'm with him,” Anya agreed, nodding, but then she snickered, looking to Lexa. “Lexa though... I'm pretty sure she shit her pants watching Saw.”

“I did not!” Lexa squeaked somewhat uncharacteristically, drawing a laugh from Clarke. The brunette cleared her throat slightly, her cheeks pink from either embarrassment or the alcohol, or both. “I'm not that bad.”

“We'll see,” Octavia said devilishly, making her way over to her TV to slide in the DVD of the axe murderer movie. Clarke wasn't exactly sure what it was called, but she hardly cared. Whatever it was, the less she remembered about it by the time it was over, the better. With that in mind, she grabbed a new beer to sip during the movie.

Raven dutifully went into Octavia's room, coming back with piles of blankets, which she tossed lazily around at the group of people. Most of them were settled somewhere on the floor. As the menu screen for the movie came up on the TV, Octavia grabbed popcorn and candy and everyone started grabbing for some.

Lexa was sitting next to Clarke, and they shared a blanket for convenience. “I'm pretty sure I haven't had a movie night in years,” Clarke commented, looking to the brunette. “I actually can’t remember when the last one I had was.”

“Same,” she admitted, looking slightly uncomfortable, “especially not with a horror movie. Ugh. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.”

Clarke laughed, and it almost came out as a giggle. “You might actually be worse than Octavia.”

Lexa frowned. “I can't help it. I'm easily scared.”

“I told you,” Clarke said lightly, nudging her, “I'll protect you. Nothing to worry about.”

“I'll hold you to that,” Lexa muttered, grabbing a handful of popcorn as if it would distract her from the movie that was about to start. Octavia shut off the lights, hopping onto the couch and landing nearly on top of Raven, who groaned, and then hit play on the remote.

The beginning of the movie wasn't too bad in Clarke’s opinion – the premise seemed decent and it didn't seem to be all jump scares.

Until it was.

The number of times they all screamed – or most of them screamed and Anya and Jasper laughed at all of them – was ridiculous. Clarke was sure that Octavia's neighbors were not appreciative, but many of them were people around their age, so they were probably out at Halloween parties themselves. It wasn't like Halloween parties were just for college students, anyway.

Halfway through the movie, Clarke was glad that she'd had quite a bit to drink, because it calmed her considerably regarding the terror of the movie. She wasn’t worried about being jittery for the rest of the night or anything like that. Lexa, however, didn't seem to be relaxed at all. She flinched at every slightly scary thing, and screamed every time something jumped out – just as Octavia and Raven did.

Clarke found it slightly amusing, but she also felt sort of bad for the brunette. At some point, when an axe murderer jumped shockingly onto the screen, a hand darted through darkness under the blanket and latched onto Clarke's. Blue eyes looked over to Lexa, whose eyes widened in surprise as she pulled her hand away. “Sorry,” she muttered.

Taking in a deep breath, in hopes that it would give her courage, Clarke reached back out under the blanket and grabbed Lexa's hand. “It's okay. I did promise to protect you, didn't I?”

“You think it's hilarious that I'm scared,” Lexa stated without question, her voice hushed so as not to distract from the movie.

“It's a little funny,” Clarke agreed, grinning and squeezing Lexa's hand. “But I can't have you hiding in your apartment every day because you got scared, so.”

“How would that affect you?” Lexa asked, giggling slightly. Her cheeks were flushed red from the alcohol, just as Clarke's probably were. If she was sober, Clarke’s heart would probably be pounding from nerves at this exchange, but she wasn’t sober, and the alcohol was numbing any anxiety she could be having from flirting with Lexa.

“I kinda like having you around,” Clarke said, a half-smile on her face as she nudged the brunette. “Now watch the movie, scaredy-cat.”

Lexa did as she said, though she immediately tensed again once her eyes were on the movie. Clarke had to admit that it was a pretty scary movie, but her thoughts were elsewhere, namely on the fact that her fingers were currently intertwined with Lexa's. Lexa's hand was soft. Clarke's heart was beating far faster than it should have been, even considering the horror movie that was on and the alcohol. However, once she got more used to the feeling, she gently rubbed her thumb against the back of the brunette’s hand, hoping that it might help with the movie, but mostly just wanting to try it out. And it felt good, and she could feel Lexa relax once she started the movement.

When the movie was over, everyone went silent, still in shock by the terrifying ending that had just occurred, and then Raven quickly scrambled up off of the couch, nearly tripping over Lexa and Clarke, to turn on the lights. Once they were on, everyone let out a sigh of relief. “Fuck horror movies,” Monty muttered.

“Oh come on,” Jasper exclaimed, “it was great!”

“I'm pretty sure that we're all going to be murdered in our sleep,” Octavia muttered.

Clarke turned around and scowled at her friend. “It was your bright idea to watch a horror movie. Don't tell me I'm gonna have to cuddle with you all night to make you sleep.” Octavia scoffed, as though the idea were far beyond the realm of reality.

“I told you, I've matured.”

Bellamy snorted. “Sure you have.” Octavia was quiet for a second, and then she hopped up off of the couch and disappeared into her bedroom. Everyone seemed confused as to her sudden change in mood, but Clarke knew why. She released Lexa's hand and let out a breath.

“I'll be back,” she mumbled, heading for Octavia's room.

“Go away, I'm fine,” Octavia exclaimed as Clarke entered the room. She found her best friend curled up under her blankets, looking very small. “Just scared.”

“You're not just scared,” Clarke insisted, moving to sit next to her on the bed. “It's about Bellamy saying something about you not maturing.”

“No...”

“Yes,” Clarke said back. “Look, that's fair. He wouldn't know, it's not fair for him to joke like that. I'll tell him, if you want.”

“No, it's really not that,” Octavia insisted, before hesitating. “Okay, it was a little like that. Also I really am just kinda scared.”

Clarke gave her best friend a soft smile. “Then come on and take some shots with me. Shots fix everything.”

“You should probably drink less,” Octavia muttered, pushing the blankets off of herself and standing up. “You have work tomorrow.”

“Considering how much my bosses and coworkers are drinking,” Clarke said, “I think I'm fine.”

They left Octavia's bedroom to find everyone sprawled around the living room, laughing and talking and drinking again. It was as if the horror movie never happened.

Well, somewhat. Clarke's hand was still tingling slightly and her heart still beating faster than normal – though she realized now that that could have to do with the drinking. She went with Octavia to where the tequila was, taking back a shot for the sake of her best friend, before taking a seat on the floor again next to Lexa and joining in the conversation.

She wasn't sure if any of the guests had driven themselves, or if they had all intentionally taking public transport in order to get home easily, Luna and Lincoln dismissed themselves when it started getting a bit late. Anya left not long after them, letting Clarke know that they would open the gallery up a little bit later than normal. The blonde was grateful about that – she was not going to have an easy time getting up the next morning.

Bellamy and Echo left after that, leaving Octavia, obviously, Raven, Jasper, Monty, Lexa and Clarke. The former four were still doing shots, talking loudly and laughing, as Clarke and Lexa wandered into the spare room Octavia had in her apartment. She claimed that it was to be her office, but since she'd moved from such a small apartment, she still had no office supplies or even a desk to put in it. For now, it was full of the boxes that she had yet to unpack, even though Clarke had helped her with the majority already.

“Octavia has a nice place,” Lexa commented.

“She worked hard for it,” Clarke replied, nodding. “She used to be an editor for this magazine company, but she really wanted to be a news writer. Which is what she's doing now. I'm glad she's got her shit together. At least one of us does.”

Lexa gave her a soft smile. “You're not doing too bad.”

“Not anymore,” Clarke agreed, quieter now. “Life has definitely straightened itself out recently. Which is nice. But it could be much better.”

“Couldn't it always?” Lexa replied, looking pointedly at the blonde.

Clarke answered the question with a sad smile, but it quickly turned into more of a goofy one when she asked, “So, I see you're not hiding under a blanket or anything from that horror movie.”

“It wasn't too bad,” Lexa muttered, averting her eyes. “And Anya lied – I've never shit my pants watching any movie.”

Clarke let out a loud laugh, and she noticed a smile appear on the brunette's face. “I believe you, Lexa. Though, you did seem pretty scared.”

Lexa blushed. “Yeah well. I had someone protecting me, so I'm fine now.”

Clarke bit her lower lip to keep from grinning too widely. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol getting to her head, or her proximity to Lexa, which was much closer than she'd initially realized, but her face was warm and she felt giggly and happy. It was a rarity for Clarke, even when drinking, for her to feel giggly.  “Oh, well good.”

Lexa sipped the beer she was holding, her eyes stuck on Clarke and her expression making the blonde think that she wanted to say something. After a beat, she did. “Can I ask you a question? About something that happened during Never Have I Ever?” Clarke drank from her beer as well – she wasn't ready to talk about any of that, but she knew that it was unavoidable at this point. She nodded her consent to the brunette. “What was up with you mentioning your interest in girls and Raven freaking out like she didn't know?”

Clarke internalized the sigh she felt about to escape her lips. “She didn't know. Few people really know. It's never been a big deal or anything. Attraction and kisses, but nothing more. Octavia and my mom are the only people who even know that I sorta identify as bisexual. Raven wasn't supposed to know, because it wasn't supposed to ever become a real life factor.”

“But you told her,” Lexa pointed out, “so it must've become a real life factor?”

Clarke's gaze met Lexa's, and she felt her stomach twisting up in knots. She wanted to look away, to not say what she knew was about to come from her mouth. She wanted to run and hide under the covers of Octavia's bed and pretend like it wasn't real. But just because it was something that she wasn't used to didn't mean that she should run and hide – she knew better than that. It just took a few moments for her sense to communicate to her drunken self. “Potentially,” she replied simply, taking another sip of her beer. It didn't taste as good as it had a moment ago, and she set it down on one of the boxes that was sitting around.

Lexa didn't seem to know where to go from that, so she just mimicked Clarke's movements and set her drink down as well. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Clarke replied, her gaze locking with Lexa's. Lexa seemed to be waiting for some sort of response, but Clarke was nervous and flushed and didn't know what to say. It was only when Lexa's gaze began to drop that Clarke realized that she was missing it – her opportunity to act on her feelings, when it was so blatantly obvious that Lexa wanted her to. She wasn't that oblivious, even if she may have missed some indications possibly in the past, though she wasn't sure if there had even been any.

Facing her fears, she took a small step closer to Lexa, drawing green eyes up to hers again, and placed her hand on the brunette's soft cheek, pressing her lips against hers tentatively. Lexa didn't hesitate to kiss her back, pulling her body slightly closer and if Clarke's mind hadn't already been foggy from the alcohol, Lexa's lips were definitely intoxicating her even more.

But something about it just felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEE! :D Cliffhangers! You guys know me, sometimes there's just nothing like a good old cliffhanger. :)
> 
> So I don't mean to be thaaaat person, but yesterday was my birthday ^.^ For those of you who have been reading my stories for a while, you might know that I never revealed my age on fanfiction or twitter at all since starting in 2012. I got my Twitter account in October of 2012 and my Fanfiction account that December. People have since guessed my age after me not revealing what it was, and I got a lot of times that I was a lot older than I actually was. In fact, some people had a hard time believing that I was in high school around 2015 and 2016. I just thought it was kind of funny, because off of the internet, everyone ALWAYS thinks that I'm younger than I am. So it's time for the reveal (it's already on Twitter, but whateves). Yesterday was my 18th birthday ^.^ Yeah, I turned 18 after starting college lol. So I'm finally a legal adult, can buy lottery tickets and get piercings without a parent signature and get tattoos and shit!! Eeek!  
> I wanna thank everyone who has been following my stories for all these years. I appreciate you all so much, and if you're new, I still appreciate you so so much!! :D I hope you all have a lovey week!!  
> xxxxxx Tori :D


	8. I'm Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> It's time for chapter eight! Parts of this were in the original version of this story, but parts were not. This is the biggest change in the story, and everything that comes after this is completely not what was in the original story (chapter 9 has some bits and pieces but everything after that is stuff that I have written in the past few months, and not when I originally wrote the beginning of this story).
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** “How many days?” Octavia demanded, her jaw dropping despite her mouth being full of a sandwich.

“Chew your damn food, O,” Clarke huffed, crossing her arms. That's what she got for taking her best friend out to lunch in order to talk about important things. “Five days. I haven't talked to her since Saturday.”

“Not even texted?” Clarke shook her head, and Octavia looked as if that was worse than the no talking part. “So let me get this straight. On Saturday, after you and Lexa were so obviously obsessed with one another, you almost didn't kiss her, and then you did kiss her, and then you said that you should get some sleep so that she would leave, and you haven't even texted her since then?”

“I feel like an idiot, Octavia!” Clarke exclaimed, practically throwing her hands up into the air. “I told her I'd text her on Sunday, but I woke up late and had to rush to work, as if that was a surprise. No one at the gallery mentioned anything, so I assumed that she hadn't said anything about it to any of them. Not that she would've really had a chance to, since she was probably passed out all morning, and rightly so. But then when I got home and I was going to text her, I chickened out! I basically threw my phone out of my hands, that's how nervous I got. And you know what it's like. Once you've made the decision to stop texting someone, it's hard to go back on it without feeling like a dick. The only reason that I realized that I have to do go back on it is because I'm sure that she would've said something to Anya, and I have to work with Anya in two days! Not to mention, Raven is undoubtedly going to drag me to the bar on Friday, and Lexa works there.”

“Okay, Clarke,” Octavia said, dropping everything onto her plate all of the sudden and sitting up straighter. “You need to chill the fuck out. Lexa is a sweet girl, and I am sure that she will understand your predicament if you call her.”

“But what would I even say to her?”

“You'd apologize for being an asshole, firstly. Then you explain that you're scared of stepping out what you're used to, and you were drunk and you didn't know how she would feel about it all in the morning, and you tell her the truth,” Octavia replied, letting out a light sigh.  “Then you tell her what you want, Clarke. Because on Saturday, I saw how that girl looks at you, and you cannot lead her on. Got it?”

“Got it,” Clarke murmured, looking down at her lap. “I should... go talk to her I guess.”

“In person? Wow, you're actually brave, good job.”

“Wait, should I not?” Clarke asked, feeling panic rising. “Fuck. O, I don't know how to do this. Maybe I should wait until Friday, when I'm bound to see her.”

“Oh no,” Octavia snapped, crossing her arms. “That is not what you are going to do. That is a surefire way to make her think that you are only talking to her because you were bound to see her. If you actually go to her and talk to her, she'll realize that you realize that what you did is worthy of an apology.”

“You're right,” Clarke muttered. She cast her gaze down dejectedly, and then let out a long sigh. “Okay, I'll go over to the bar. I'm sorry I took up your whole break with this.”

“What are best friends for?” Octavia grinned widely. “Plus, it's nice to have a break from work sometimes. But I really should get back – I've got a kick ass article to write before tomorrow so that I can finally, hopefully, get my first official big break.”

“I know you can do it,” Clarke said enthusiastically as she and the brunette stood up from the table in the cafe they were at. “I'll catch a cab to the bar. See you tomorrow.”

“Text me after your conversation with Lexa,” her best friend said, grabbing the blonde in a quick hug. They left the cafe and parted directions, as Octavia started back to her work and Clarke began to hail for a cab. It didn't take too long for her to get one, and she gave the address to the driver without much though.

Sitting in the cab gave her time to think, though, and that was surprisingly exactly what she didn't need. What if Lexa hated her? What if she got fired from the gallery because Lexa hated her and now so did all of her friends? What if by avoiding one girl because of her being afraid of her feelings was going to screw up her entire life – romantically, financially and otherwise?

When she got to the bar, she was glad that both her best friend and the girl she needed to hold it together for were going to be there, because she was really in desperate need of some liquid courage by that point. She paid the cab driver quickly and then hurried into the bar, not allowing herself any time to chicken out. “Lexa?” she called.

“Not in,” Raven said, drawing a blue gaze to the other end of the bar. “Though I'm not sure she'd want to talk to you anyway. Apparently, you've been avoiding her.”

“When will she be working tonight?”

“She won't be,” Raven answered. “She took today off. Something about needing a break. You going to explain to me what the fuck happened with you two?”

Clarke collapsed onto the end bar stool, and looked to her friend desperately. Raven poured her a glass of something, and the blonde took it back without thinking. “I kissed her.”

“You what?”

“I kissed her on Saturday, and then she left and I told her I'd text her in the morning and I never did and I haven't communicated with her at all since Saturday night,” Clarke spilled out. “Because I like her and I'm scared of liking her and scared that she won't feel the same way toward me, and now I've totally screwed up and I need to talk to her.”

“So text her. Ask her to stop by here later or something. You'd probably be better off talking to her in a public forum anyway. That girl's got a fire in her,” Raven stated.

Clarke took in a shaky breath and retrieved her phone from her pocket.

Clarke – Hey. Could you come by the bar tonight? I really need to apologize to you and I think we should talk.

When she looked up from her phone, after sending the text message in her a hurry before she could go back on it, she found a full glass in front of her. She smiled gratefully at Raven, who just gave her a polite nod in return. As she took a sip from the drink, she felt her phone vibrate with a response.

Lexa – Yeah. I'll be there at eight.

Clarke finished off the drink that Raven had given her, and then she told her best friend that she would be back later, and she left the bar. It was just a few hours into the afternoon, and she wouldn't sit at the bar for five hours waiting for Lexa. Instead, she would indeed come back later, and until then, she just needed to find a way to keep herself from psyching herself out of it.

She found herself in a bookstore down the road, curled up in a little chair and reading out of a randomly selected book. It wasn't something that she did very often, but it was an easy way to take her mind off of what was going on. That was until the main character of the story fell into a situation similar to her own, and she tossed the book aside as if it carried a fatal disease.

Clarke then forced herself over to the sandwich place across the road, getting herself an early dinner under the impression that she might not feel up to eating later. She hardly felt up to eating now. But she'd worried herself out of eating lunch when she'd been out with Octavia, so she knew that she had to eat something. And she couldn't help but think that Lexa would be frustrated with her if she didn't eat anything.

At seven, Clarke was back in the bar. Raven wasn't working by then, and though the blonde wondered where she was, she didn't question it. Instead, she ordered something strong from the working bartender and took it down. The one drink became two, which soon doubled to four, until she was sure she was on number five or six. She glanced at the time, and saw that it was ten minutes to eight. She couldn't do it. She was too drunk to talk to Lexa at this point, she knew. Her vision was blurry already and her thoughts clouded.

Before she knew it, she was standing and rushing to the door of bar, desperate to escape. She felt trapped, doomed. As she pushed open the door, she ran into Raven, who squealed. “Clarke, what the fuck? Are you drunk? What are you doing? Aren't you meeting Lexa?”

Clarke couldn't answer, instead she just ran past her friend, aware that the brunette was calling after her as she hailed down a cab and clambered inside of it as fast as possible. She wasn't sure what address she'd given to the driver until she turned up at the club – the one that she had frequented months earlier, before ever meeting the girl who had turned her life upside down. After hastily paying the taxi driver, she walked along the sidewalk toward the club.

She muttered to herself as she headed up to the entrance. How had Lexa literally turned her life around? She'd gotten her a second job, giving her a few extra friends, as well as made her start to look at life differently. Not to mention that damn kiss – that amazing, beautiful kiss that had felt so right, but left Clarke feeling so panicked. She couldn't figure it out – how Lexa could have the power to do that. She didn't understand. She wasn't sure that she could understand.

What she did know for sure, though, was that she shouldn't be out at a club by herself. She owed nothing to Raven, she knew, but her bartender friend had drilled her so hard months earlier about the guilt that she always felt about doing this. And Clarke knew that she would feel guilty. She always felt guilty. Because she didn't need bottles of alcohol and meaningless sex to make her happy – those things didn't make her happy. Lexa made her happy. But she couldn't make Lexa happy, she was too much of a mess. Too drunk to have a conversation with her, because she'd been too scared to do it in the first place.

And in the back of her mind, she knew that the only thing making her think like this was the alcohol. But it was hard to look all the way back there when she couldn't even see straight in front of her.

When she felt a drink slid into her grasp, and felt herself force a smile, she knew that she'd done it. She'd gone too far for her drunk self to break her habits. So she drank the drink and danced against a faceless person, pretending that it was somehow Lexa, despite everything. And when a deep voice whispered into her ear, she mumbled something about home. She found herself in a cab what could've been minutes or hours later, and all she knew was that she wasn't the one who paid for it.

* * *

Raven had gotten used to keeping Clarke in check – or trying to. She’d gotten used to the patterns, made reminding the blonde to get her shit together a part of her daily routine, and still managed to be a friend rather than a caretaker. Sometimes she wondered how Octavia did it all so well while still staying on such good terms with their friend. Anytime Clarke pushed back against Raven, the Latina did the same thing, and they always ended up at complete odds.

But things had been different after Clarke had gotten that job at the art gallery – after she’d met Lexa.

Knowing what she knew now, Raven supposed that it made sense that Clarke liked Lexa. She always seemed pretty captivated when talking to her, and they got along really well. And even though she herself was straight, Raven wasn’t stupid, and she knew that Lexa was hot. And Clarke, objectively, was also pretty attractive.

And Raven had definitely noticed that Clarke had stopped pulling her one night stand multiple times a month act. Neither she nor Octavia had barged in on any naked men in quite a while. But Raven had forgotten how sensitive her blonde friend was, and she was starting to stress after running into her on her way back into the bar.

At eight, Lexa came into the bar wearing long pants and a coat. Her green eyes looked around the bar, looking for someone who she wouldn’t find, and landed on Raven with a look of confusion. “Is Clarke here?”

“She was,” Raven answered, tapping her foot lightly. “I just ran into her on my way back in. I had to go out and pick up some things for stock that didn’t come in with Tuesday’s shipment.”

“Wait, she left?”

Raven sighed. “She looked drunk.”

“Shit,” Lexa breathed out. “I guess she doesn’t wanna talk to me then.”

“Hey, Lexa… you know that Clarke’s not stable, right? She might seem kind of put together, but she’s only been that way since meeting you.”

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows. “You mean because I got her that job?”

“I don’t know if that’s it,” Raven admitted. “Look, I’m hard on her, okay? I know that. She’s had a rough go of things, and she’s not the best at grabbing her life by her own hands. She’s easily influenced by things that happen around her. And some things… some things sway her really easily, or scare her. She’s not used to change, and this past month or so… a lot of things have changed for her.”

“Okay…”

“When it comes to relationships… she hasn’t been with anyone in years. I mean, she’s been with plenty of people since her last relationship, but… you get it. I think it tipped her, the fear of trying it again.”

Lexa took a step closer to the bar, pressing her hand onto the edge of it and leaning forward slightly. “Tipped her? What are you saying?”

“I think she went out.”

“Where?”

Raven shrugged. “Don’t know. Her guilt party club is unknown to me. If I knew where it was, I would’ve tried to stop her from this shit ages ago.”

“Wait… so you think she’s gone somewhere to what? Get wasted? Or hook up with someone?”

“Don’t know.”

“Helpful, Raven.”

“I’m just warning you. She’s not stable.”

Lexa looked at the Latina carefully, and Raven was slightly surprised that she didn’t seem angrier. “Oh, I get it. You want me to leave her alone, let her do her thing, and go off and do my own thing.”

“No, I’m not saying that. I just… don’t know that she’s the best thing for you, or anyone, right now.”

“But you said that she’s been better since meeting me. Don’t you think that might mean that she might need me?”

“She might hurt you, Lexa, that’s all I’m saying.”

Lexa nodded. “Clarke isn’t going to sleep with anyone tonight.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. It’s not like you guys are dating.”

“Well, thanks for the warning, I guess. But I’d think that as Clarke’s friend, you might be more concerned about her.”

“Obviously I am, Lexa, I’m not trying to say that I don’t care about her. I’m just saying that I don’t know that you two are best for each other right now. She literally got wasted because she was nervous to talk to you – she’s not okay. She needs to get her shit together before she can be with somebody, or else she’s going to become dependent and… if something went wrong, she’d fall apart. Okay? As soon as there’s a bump in the road, she’ll fall apart.”

Lexa let out a breath. “Alright, Raven, I get it. I’ll see you later.” The brunette turned around and left the room, and Raven sighed. She knew that her coworker was mad at her now, and maybe that was warranted. Raven wasn’t afraid to be blunt, and she didn’t want either of her friends getting more hurt than they already had.

* * *

Clarke was pressed up against her door, her top off but her breasts still covered, and some guy’s lips were trailing dangerously close to them. It felt good, on a sexual level, but suddenly, she felt a slight scratch against her skin from his cheek, and somehow, she was snapped out of the feeling. “Wait, wait, stop,” she said, pushing his shoulders. The guy pulled away, looking slightly annoyed.

“What?”

“You need to leave,” Clarke muttered. “You need… I need you to leave.”

“Why? Don’t you want to feel good? C’mon, baby, you know you want me to fuck you.”

“No, I really don’t,” Clarke said, feeling somehow more sober than before and stepping away from the door. “You need to go, please.”

The guy suddenly turned from his weak attempt at looking alluring to just looking pissed off. “You know, my friend at the club recognized you and said that you were a good lay a few months back. Gotta say, I didn’t expect to be disappointed by a whore tonight.”

“Fuck you,” Clarke snapped. “I’m a fucking human being, you asshole, and if you don’t get the fuck out of my house, I’m going to call the fucking cops.”

The guy huffed, grabbing the door handle and stomping out, slamming it behind him.

Clarke felt tears building up in her eyes, and she let them loose with a sob. She leaned back against the door, letting the sobs wrack her body, before she finally made it to her bed and fell into it, desperately needing sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeeek!!!!  
> Don't hate me, okay? I promise it could be worse lol. And you all know that I won't let Clexa have a bad ending.  
> Another important note... I'm estimating that this story will be between 15 and 20 chapters, but I don't know for sure how long it will be exactly. I do 100% intend to complete this story - it was the only Clexa story that I left unfinished, and it felt wrong to do so. I know I've done that on stories for other ships before, but I take much more pride in my Clexa stories, and I want to finish it. I'm not working on any other stories until this is done, but I haven't been rushing writing this too much, because I've been busy and I don't want to write stuff just to fill space. So I've been writing somewhat slowly, and it's kind of driving me insane. So this week I'm going to try to get a lot done on it when I'm not doing homework and stuff, and by this weekend, I'll hopefully a lot more ahead than I am right now, because I'll be done with midterms after this week! :) If at any point I don't end up far enough ahead to do weekly updates, there will be SOMETHING up for you guys to read EVERY Sunday, even if that's just a one shot or something. But my goal is to finish before Thanksgiving break, but worst case, I want to be done by the end of Thanksgiving break.  
> Thanks for all of the comments as well, I know I've been kind of shitty at replying to them, but I read and appreciate them all. Love you guys, have a great day!


	9. Concentrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finds Clarke the morning after shit went down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautifuls!! It's an update day! And I have a lot of free time tonight before I need to sleep, so I'm going to try to get a lot of writing done!! I've been trying to space things out more often so that I can actually be writing regularly, because even when I know what I want to write, when I stop for a long time in between, it makes it hard to keep things all nice and flowy. So I'm trying not to mess anything up ahah.  
> I should be able to not miss any update days between now and the end of the story, but if I ever do, I will tweet about it the Thursday before and likely will post a one shot instead! But enough about that!
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** The banging was loud, painful even. Clarke peeled her eyes open, becoming aware of a few things. She was in her bed, half naked, her head pounding. Light was flooding in from the windows, telling her that the curtain wasn’t closed.

She could barely remember the night before, she realized, but she remembered key points. She bailed on meeting up with Lexa, went to a club, danced with some guy that bought her a drink, came back with him, and kicked him out before it got too far. And with that, she let out a relieved breath, because that was perhaps the most self-control she’d had in a long time.

The banging resumed, and Clarke realized that someone was at her door. Octavia, probably, to get pissed at her for bailing on her goal. The blonde sat up, and immediately felt pain in her head. She barely managed to stand, but she starting stumbling to the door, surprised that her best friend hadn’t just let herself in.

But when she swung open the door, her heart sank down to her toes, because it wasn’t Octavia standing in front of her, it was Lexa.

The woman launched into a rant before Clarke could say anything, “God damn it, Clarke, you didn’t show up last night at the bar, and Raven told me that you ran out, so I came back here to see if you were here, and you weren’t, and you didn’t answer mine or Octavia’s phone calls, and I’ve been knocking for like five minutes – I had half a mind to break in.”

Lexa sounded like she had more to say, but she cut herself off when Clarke suddenly turned and bolted toward the kitchen, grabbing the trashcan and vomiting into it. It was part of her hangover, yes, but also from the feeling of dread she had from knowing that Lexa was here, witnessing the worst part of Clarke. She didn’t want Lexa to see her like this. Instead of facing her problems head on, she’d almost reverted entirely back to the way she’d been months before, the way she didn’t want to be anymore. She’d gone and done something stupid – and almost done something that might’ve ruined everything.

Clarke finished retching into the trash, and then glanced over at the brunette, who hadn’t moved. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, slumping away from the can and leaning against the cupboards of her kitchen and pulling her knees up to her chest. “I’m sorry.”

Lexa moved slowly into the apartment, closing the door behind her. As she entered, she glanced over at the open curtain, and Clarke knew what she was checking for – was there someone in her bed? No, there wasn’t, and that was maybe all that Clarke had to be proud of right now. Lexa crouched next to Clarke, concern filling her big green eyes. She sighed softly. “You’re a mess…”

Clarke was amazed that the comment didn’t sound accusing, or full of pity. It was just a statement – a sad truth.

“Hey, are you okay?” Lexa asked. “How much did you drink last night?”

“Enough to blur details.”

“The kind of details you would or wouldn’t want to remember?”

Clarke sighed. “I remember everything that was important.”

“Where’s your phone?”

“Don’t know.”

Lexa stood up, glancing around the kitchen and living area. She apparently spotted it somewhere and walked over to it. Clarke watched as the brunette did something or another on it, and then she returned to where Clarke was sitting, crouching again and handing the device to the blonde. “I texted Octavia.”

“It’s Friday,” Clarke said, “she’s working.”

“Right. Do you want me to text Raven?”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Clarke muttered. “You should go, you didn’t need to come check on me.”

Lexa looked at Clarke’s expression carefully and let out a sigh. “Clarke… I know that we aren’t anything. I know that we’ve known each other a little over a month, and you don’t owe anything to me. I know that. But you kissed me last weekend, and it’s not okay for you to do that only to drop off the face of the planet, finally agree to meet with me, and then bail and get wasted. Okay? You can’t do that.”

“I know.”

“It’s not fair,” Lexa reiterated, “because you hurt me, Clarke, and I needed you to talk to me.”

“You should go, Lexa. I’m pretty sure at this point, it’s you who doesn’t owe anything to me. You don’t need to take care of me. I’ll be fine, hangovers aren’t really new to me.” As if to prove her point, Clarke suddenly pulled herself up and stood, walking toward her bathroom. She stepped inside, leaving the door open and glancing at her ruined appearance in the mirror. Her makeup from the day before was awfully smudged, and her hair was a mess. She was wearing jeans – which she couldn’t wait to take off at this point – and a bra. She realized suddenly that not only had Lexa seen her guilty and hungover, but also wearing the least amount of clothing she’d ever seen the blonde in. That made Clarke feel like she was going to throw up again – she was sure that this had lost her any chance with Lexa.

But she didn’t hear the brunette leave as she brushed her teeth and washed her face. As she finished that and tied her hair up into a ponytail, she kept waiting to hear the door open and close, but nothing. When she finally walked back out of the bathroom, she saw Lexa leaning against the door.

Clarke sighed, grabbing some Advil and a water bottle from one of her cabinets. As she took down the pills, she went over to her curtained off area, pulling it shut so that she could change. She kept listening, expecting to hear Lexa leave, but nothing. And when Clarke was finally more presentable, she walked back out into the main area of her studio apartment, dressed in sweats and a sweatshirt now, and made eye contact with Lexa.

They were both silent for a moment, until Clarke finally decided to attempt the break the tension.

“You were worried that I slept with someone.”

“Raven said that you might.”

“I haven’t slept with anyone since I met you.”

Lexa’s eyebrow twitched, but aside from that, she didn’t react to the admission. “Okay, so?”

Realizing that she’d inadvertently led herself into the conversation that she actually needed to have, the one she wanted to have last night before she scared herself shitless, Clarke let out a puff of air and answered, “Since I met you, my life has changed a lot. Namely because you helped me get that job, and I kind of found reasons to, as Raven would say, break out of my old habits. Which I guess you’ve heard about, but you haven’t ever seen me that way.”

Lexa only gave a swift nod in response.

“But… that’s not the only way that my life has changed since I met you. I meant what I said on Saturday. When I said that I’m bisexual and that I’ve just never mentioned it before now, because it wasn’t really relevant. But I like you, Lexa, and I kissed you because I like you and I thought I was going to miss the moment. Somehow, though, I didn’t, and I’m so grateful that I didn’t,” Clarke said, almost all in one breath.

“So you ignored me for five days?”

“I’m an idiot, Lexa.” As soon as Clarke said it, the brunette furrowed her eyebrows, but she didn’t let Lexa give any input just yet. “I was terrified to talk to you yesterday. Because yeah, I didn’t text you on Sunday morning, because I was super late for work, and then when I got home from work later, I was scared that you would say something I didn’t want to hear. And once I thought about it, it was impossible for me to gather the courage to talk to you. But I knew that I  _ had _ to, for myself and for you, so yesterday I went to the bar to talk to you and you weren’t there. I didn’t want to psych myself out of it, so I texted you and then you said we’d meet later so I went out and tried to distract myself. I got back to the bar an hour before you and I just wanted to have some liquid courage, but I have a bad habit, Lexa. When I’m nervous and guilty, I drink. I’m not an alcoholic or anything, but for example, every time in the past that I’ve hooked up with someone – like a one night stand – I get so guilty that I just want to forget, and I spend the next night getting wasted. And yesterday was a totally different situation, but I felt the same way, and I was scared. So I drank too much and then I was panicking and I left. I went to my usual club, drank more than I should’ve, and I met some guy and I almost slept with him, but I didn’t, because when we got back here, I  _ couldn’t _ . I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and about how guilty I would feel, and how much I owe you more than that. I know you think that I don’t owe you anything, but I do. I owe you so much, and you don’t deserve to be fucked over like that. But I’m… I’m  _ scared _ .”

Lexa’s gaze scanned over Clarke’s whole body, as if sizing her up after hearing these things. Clarke had never had a full on conversation about anything like this with anyone – not even Octavia. She knew that it might make Lexa look at her differently, and even though that scared her, Clarke knew that if she ever wanted a real chance with the brunette, Lexa had to see all of her.

“I’m scared of you, and I’m scared of myself, and I’m scared of  _ you and me _ . Even though that’s not a thing, because I want it to be a thing, but I don’t deserve it. I’m…” Clarke shook her head, looking around her apartment and trying to find the words she needed to say. Her gaze landed on her stack of art supplies in the corner of the room, and she took in a shaky breath. “I’m like a blank canvas compared to you, Lexa. You’re all bright and colorful and you’ve been places and lived and meanwhile, I’ve been here, doing nothing but working and striving for something I’m never going to reach. And that’s how I feel when it comes to you, too. Because I’ve done nothing to deserve to have someone as bright and incredible as you in my life. And honestly, compared to you, I might not even be a blank canvas, but one that’s been scribbled on over and over and just… ruined.”

“Clarke…”

“You should go. I have to work soon, and I… you…”

“First of all, Clarke,” Lexa interrupted abruptly, surprising the blonde by the intensity of her voice, “you’re not a blank canvas, let alone a ruined one. Sure, you’ve done some dumb things in the past, or whatever, but you’re not stupid. And I don’t know why you think I’m so much better than you are. I’m not some bright, shining star, okay? The only reason I’m even in more of a stable situation than you is my parents. You’re incredible, Clarke, you just aren’t in the best place right now. You’re struggling with money and finding yourself, and you’re surrounded by people who are in more stable situations than you are. You don’t have the best relationship with your mom, neither of your jobs are what you really want to be doing with your life. But you have so much potential, and even though I don’t think you see it in yourself,  _ I _ do. And I like you, the way you are, knowing the mistakes you’ve made.”

“Lexa… I’m not ready. You don’t deserve someone like me, okay? You deserve way better.”

“Why?” Lexa demanded, taking a step away from the door and toward Clarke.

“Because I’m a fuck up, Lexa! I can’t do anything right! I hurt my friends and my mom and anyone who I come into contact with! Because I’m a fucking recovering slut and I spend all my free time drinking because I can’t even keep with the one thing that I love doing!”

“Stop.”

“Why? It’s true, and everyone knows it. Ask anyone. They’re all just too polite to say it to my face.”

“Stop it, Clarke.”

Clarke shook her head, turning around and feeling tears rush to her eyes. “You need to leave, Lexa.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Lexa…”

Clarke felt the woman grab her arm gently. “Hey, look at me.” Clarke let out a breath, turning to face the girl who was scaring her so much. “You are not a fuck up. And you might not think that you’re ready for anything, but I disagree. You wanna know why? Last night, you could’ve hooked up with that guy you brought home, and you didn’t. Because even though you aren’t technically taken, you didn’t do the same thing you would’ve done if you were single.”

“Maybe I’m just finally trying to take control of myself for once.”

“And that’s exactly why you are ready,” Lexa said. “Anyway. I’m not asking you for the moon, Clarke. You kissed me because you like me, and I kissed you back because I like you too. And I was hurt, because you ignored me afterward because you were scared. And you got drunk because you were scared, and you still managed to not completely lose yourself.  All I’m asking for is a chance to prove to you that you’re ready.”

“What does that mean?” Clarke asked quietly.

Lexa looked at the blonde carefully. “You have work today, right?”

“Yes.”

“And I have work tonight, so… tomorrow night, you let me take you out.”

“Out?”

“Yes, properly, like a date.”

“ _ Like _ a date, or an actual date?” Clarke quirked up an eyebrow, feeling slightly braver all of the sudden.

Lexa smiled a little. “A actual date, Clarke. Let me take you out on a date, and then you can tell me if you’re ready or not.”

“Fine. Tomorrow night. I’ll be free at seven.”

“Good, then I’ll pick you up here tomorrow night, at seven.”

* * *

Clarke left work later that day feeling a mix between stressed and refreshed, which she hadn’t known was a possible feeling. She was nervous about her date with Lexa the following night, but she was relieved that things weren’t completely unhinged. She was also skipping on going to the bar tonight, not because she didn’t want to see Lexa, but because she was making a monumental decision.

She was going to stop drinking.

No, that didn’t mean she would never go back to the bar, but she was going sober.

Clarke didn’t have an addictive personality – she didn’t drink because she had to, she drank to numb fear and pain. And maybe what she needed to start doing was working through the fear and pain rather than pretend like it wasn’t there.

And for her first night as a sobered woman, she was going to have a girl’s night in with her best friend, and have a heart to heart that she really needed.

She stopped by her apartment to change into comfier clothes before she took a cab to Octavia’s place. And as soon as Clarke opened her friend's front door, the brunette was already talking to her.

“Okay, so... I know you texted about girl’s night in earlier, but I’ve kind of be worried about you all day. I got a text this morning from your phone from Lexa saying that you were hungover and some shit, but when I texted you back you didn’t answer for a couple hours and you didn’t clarify anything that happened… I texted Raven during my lunch break and she didn’t have much to say either. I feel like I’ve been left out of something big.”

Clarke chuckled, stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind her. “Well to start, you should know that I got drunk waiting for Lexa at the bar yesterday so I bailed and got wasted a club, and then I took some guy home, but I kicked him out before anything really happened, because I really like Lexa and I couldn’t do that to her. But… I don’t know, she talked to Raven last night and apparently  _ she _ said that I might fly off the rails and sleep with someone. And then Lexa came to my apartment this morning and found me in my disgusting hungover state – which I’m still horrified that she had to experience – but then we had a long conversation during which she said really nice things, and… well, she asked me out on a date. Tomorrow night.”

Octavia’s face lit up. “Seriously? Oh my god, that’s so exciting, C! You have to tell me exactly what happened!”

So Clarke did, while her best friend made them something to eat for dinner. Octavia offered feedback sparingly, but by the end of the explanation, the hazel eyed girl seemed overall supportive.

“You know, I think Lexa’s right. And I think that she’ll be good for you, if you guys end up going somewhere with your relationship.”

“Yeah… I guess I still just don’t know what good I’ll be for her.”

“She likes you, Clarke, and a lot, judging by the fact that she’s so persistent about everything even when you were practically falling apart. Maybe she needs you – and maybe she doesn’t know why, or maybe she does, and you’ll find out somewhere along the line. But you don’t have to go into a relationship knowing  _ why _ and  _ how _ and  _ for what _ . You go into a relationship because you like someone, and you trust them, and you want to see what could happen,” Octavia insisted, plating the food she’d been making and handing on of said plates to the blonde. “Okay? So don’t overthink it right now. Just let it happen.”

“There’s one more thing,” Clarke said, taking a bite of the food.

“Hmm?”

“I’m going to stop drinking.”

Octavia’s eyes widened as she sat next to Clarke at the small island bar in her kitchen. “Like, completely?”

“Yes. I drink for stupid reasons and I do stupid things when I’m drunk, and I can’t afford to do stupid things anymore – literally and figuratively.”

Octavia looked at Clarke seriously for a long moment, before breaking her stare and looking down at her food, taking a bite. Clarke watched her with confusion as she chewed and swallowed it, before looking back. “You know, I’m really proud of you, Clarke. And I feel kind of bad, because I don’t think… I don’t know, if someone had asked me a few months back if I thought you’d be sobering up, with a second job, and like, new determination by now, I would’ve said no. But I should’ve had more belief in you, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I mean, I didn’t make it that easy to believe in me,” Clarke reasoned. “But thank you, I appreciate the sentiment now.”

Octavia smiled, taking another bite of her food as Clarke did the same. After a moment, the brunette said, “You know, I really like this heart to heart situation, but we need to do something fun after this. I can only take so much seriousness. Should we watch a movie or something?”

“You know I’m always down for a movie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally bought Demi's new album and omg these songsssss. I got the deluxe version and I'm obsessed with the acoustic version of No Promises eeek lol. Seriously, if you haven't heard her album, listen now!!  
> On a different note, college is going pretty well for me. I'm halfway through my first semester and I still have good grades and I've been ahead in most of my classes pretty consistently. Time to power through the second half of it! I've been having a few downs in the past week, though, so I'm trying a lot harder to stay positive, by doing small things like making sure I'm up on time, keeping my room clean, and making sure to do work and also give myself breaks ahah. Also in the past few months I started watching Lilly Singh's videos regularly so I'm trying to feed off of her positivity in her vlogs every day and hustle harder ahah.
> 
> Tell me how you are all! Mostly ups or downs? What makes you feel more positive and motivated?
> 
> Keep up with my on Twitter @BrittzandTana , I've been about 45% less MIA this past week there ahah! Have a lovely week my friends, love you all and I'll see you next Sunday!! xx


	10. No One Can Stop Me Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have their first real date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!! It's update time!!
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** “So I heard that you and Lexa are going on a date tonight.”

Clarke jumped at hearing Anya’s voice all of the sudden, and she looked over her shoulder at the other woman. “Oh, yeah.” Clarke was in the middle of polishing the glass on a number of a paintings in the gallery – it was almost time for her to leave and head home to get ready. “I’m kind of nervous – is that dumb?”

“No, I’ve never gone on a first date and not been nervous,” Anya admitted. “Lexa really likes you, so I wouldn’t stress too much, though.”

“I still don’t really see why she likes me so much,” Clarke joked with a quiet laugh, though she was sure that Anya knew she wasn’t  _ really _ joking.

“You’re fun, unexpected, artistic, sweet. Why wouldn’t she like you? Actually – don’t answer that. I don’t need you getting into some self-deprecating mood before your date on my account, because then I would have Lexa to answer to.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, laughing again. “You’re crazy.”

“Maybe. You can head out now, we can finish the rest here. Go get ready for your date.”

Turning around fully, Clarke smiled at her boss. “Thanks, Anya. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, and no problem. Have a fun night.”

Clarke walked out of the art gallery knowing that she would need to take a cab home – it was too far to walk and taking the subway would not agree with her nerves right now. But as she considered hailing one, her gaze traveled in the direction of the bar – where she knew that Raven was at the moment. And she kind of had something she wanted to talk about with Raven. And since she had the extra time….

When she pushed open the door to the bar, Raven seemed surprised to see her. “Hey, shouldn’t you be at work right now?”

“Yeah, I have a date with Lexa tonight, though, so Anya said I could head out a little early.”

“Oh, really? You two are going on a date?”

“Yeah. Actually, I kind of wanted to talk to you about Lexa. Or specifically, Thursday night.”

“Okay, what about it?”

“She told me that you said I might’ve hooked up with someone.”

“Did you?”

“No. I almost did.”

“So I wasn’t too far off. I was just trying to warn her in case you did.”

Clarke pursed her lips for a moment before asking her next question. “I was just wondering if you said anything else to her.”

Raven looked at the blonde evenly. “Like what? Why would you think I said anything else?”

“Because I know you, Raven, and you don’t just say things like ‘Yeah, Clarke ran out, and I think she might end up sleeping with someone,’” Clarke huffed out. “That’s not your style. You say whatever you think in full.”

“Okay, fine. I told her that I don’t know that you’re ready for a relationship, because you need to work on yourself. I told her that if you end up dependent on her and then she hurts you, you’ll fall apart. I told her that you’re not stable, and that even though you’ve been better lately, that you don’t do well with sudden shifts. I was honest with her so that she knew what to be dealing with.”

“It’s not your job to say those things,” Clarke said quietly, though she felt guilty all of the sudden.

“No, but I’m your friend, Clarke, and I want to watch out for you.”

“So you don’t think I should go on a date with Lexa?”

“No, I don’t think that you should become dependent on Lexa. You need to be your own person, with or without anyone else. You need to learn control, Clarke.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Fuck you, Raven. I can control myself. I’m not a fucking teenager, okay? And you need to mind your own fucking business for once.”

Raven looked taken aback, but Clarke didn’t give her the opportunity to reply. Instead, she turned around and left the bar. After all, she had a date to go get ready for.

* * *

Clarke had changed her outfit three times by the time there was a knock on her front door, but thankfully, her final look was her favorite. It was simple anyway – she was wearing dark wash jeans and a somewhat loose blue blouse that complimented her eyes. She’d done her makeup already and put some mousse in her hair to make it a little bouncy.

She grabbed her small purse, which had her phone, wallet and apartment key in it, and went to the door.

When she swung it open, it revealed Lexa smiling at her, wearing black pants and a red blouse. “Hey, you look nice,” the brunette greeted.

“Right back at you.” Clarke blushed, trying to avoid fiddling with her hands out of nervousness.

“Are you ready to go?”

“I am, but I’m warning you, I’m a little bit nervous. I haven’t been on a date in… a while.”

“That’s okay, I’ll take it easy on you,” Lexa assured her with a slight smirk. “Come on.” Clarke followed the brunette out of her apartment, quickly locking it behind her, and then out of the building. Once they were outside and headed for Lexa’s car, the blonde cleared her throat.

“Hey, um, Raven told me what she said to you, in a gist, on Thursday,” she started carefully.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lexa interrupted quickly. “It doesn’t matter what she said.”

Clarke swallowed thickly. “Okay.” Lexa gave her a careful smile, and then they got into the brunette’s car. As Lexa pulled out of her spot and onto the road, the blonde glanced out the window. “So where are we going?”

“My place.”

“Ooh fancy,” Clarke hummed. “I’ve never been to your place.”

“I know, but don’t expect too much. It’s small and kind of boring. You’ll quickly find out that I’m not as interesting as you think I am,” Lexa said with a light laugh.

“Yeah, because  _ that’s _ possible.” Clarke rolled her eyes. “I’ve found you interesting basically since I met you.”

“Basically?”

“Okay, my first impression of you was while I was kind of preoccupied, but  _ after _ I got my head on a little straighter, I found you super interesting.”

Lexa snickered. “That’s reassuring.”

“So what are we doing at your place?”

“I’m gonna make you food.”

“Wow, maybe you are perfect.”

Laughing, the brunette lifted her eyebrows. “I’m a little far off from perfect.”

“Only a little, though. But anyway. What’d you do today?”

“Not a lot,” Lexa admitted. “I slept in though, because I closed the bar last night and it was really late. How was work?”

“Good, but I don’t really wanna talk about work.”

“Okay, fair enough.” Lexa flashed the blonde a smile.

They talked through the rest of the drive to Lexa’s apartment, which Clarke was actually really excited to see. When Lexa finally pulled into a parking garage below her building, Clarke’s nerves were returning. She did her best to swallow them down, but they felt like they were pretty unwavering. She wasn’t used to this – going on dates and stuff. Plus, Lexa herself kind of made the blonde nervous as well.

Lexa parked her car and Clarke followed her to and up an elevator. They reached the fourth floor of the building, and Lexa led the blonde down the tight hallway to the eighth door, producing her key and letting them both in. “Here it is. See, it’s not much.”

It was a pretty small apartment, but compared to Clarke’s, it was big. There was a small sitting area with a TV and a couch, then a little breakfast table in the corner of the small kitchen area. The only door aside from the entrance in the room went into Lexa’s bedroom, which Clarke couldn’t really see into since the door wasn’t open enough. Presumably, the bathroom was connected to the bedroom, since it wasn’t connected to the main area. “It’s more than mine is.”

“That’s because yours is a studio.”

“And  _ that’s _ because I’m broke.”

“You can’t nearly as broke as you were when I first met you,” Lexa teased, flashing the blonde a smile.

“Okay yeah, I’m not that broke, thanks to you, honestly,” Clarke admitted. She looked around the room again. “You don’t spend a lot of time here, do you?”

“Not really,” Lexa answered. “If I do, I’m usually wasting my time watching shows or something, so I try to stay out.”

“How adult of you,” Clarke said with a chuckle. “Meanwhile, I basically don’t have a choice, I work like all the time and when I’m not working, I’m usually hanging out with somebody.”

Lexa hummed in understanding. “So, I was going to make fettuccini alfredo – is that okay with you?”

“That sounds great,” Clarke agreed as the brunette made her way into the kitchen. Clarke followed slowly, unsure of what to do with herself.

“You can just sit,” Lexa offered with a chuckle, nodding to the table, “or stand. Whatever you’re comfortable with. But I am counting on you to keep me entertained while I make food.”

“I can do that.” Clarke smiled brightly, leaning against the counter in the kitchen and watching as Lexa started gathering supplies for the meal.

“Do you want a drink or anything?”

“What do you have?”

“Uh, not a lot,” Lexa admitted, going to her fridge, “water, Pepsi, some beer and red wine.”

“I’ll take a Pepsi,” Clarke requested, ignoring her nerves and their want for alcohol to calm them. She was making a firm effort to stop drinking, and that meant that she would allow her nerves to sit at whatever intensity they were meant to be. She was on a date, it made sense that she was slightly nervous. But she wasn’t about to mess that up for a beer.

Lexa grabbed a can of the soda and handed it to the blonde, who took it, popped it open and took a sip.

As Lexa started cooking, Clarke asked her a few random questions to keep the conversation going, and at some point, the brunette turned it around and asked Clarke a questions about her college experience. Sure, the two of them knew each other well enough since meeting, but it was mostly at a surface level, and they both seemed mutually invested in finding out the smaller details about each other. Lexa seemed particularly amused by Clarke’s college party stories, and looking back, Clarke was able to laugh at herself a lot more than expected.

When the food was done, Lexa split it between two bowls and set them on the table. As Clarke was sitting down at one of the seats, the brunette asked, “Do you want a beer?” Lexa had a beer in her hand, presumably for herself.

“I’ll have water actually. I’m trying ah, not to drink,” Clarke admitted. Lexa lifted an eyebrow slightly, but Clarke didn’t miss the corner of her mouth quirk up into a slight smile as Lexa set down her own beer and nodded.

“Okay, one water, coming right up.”

Clarke felt her heart race a little when she realized that Lexa had forgone having a beer for Clarke’s sake, even though the blonde hadn’t asked her to do that. It was the little things like that about Lexa that she couldn’t help but be attracted to. Lexa was understanding and seemed pretty good at reading Clarke. It was one of the initial reasons that Clarke was drawn to befriending Lexa at all. It was like the other woman just  _ got _ her somehow, on a level that other people typically didn’t.

“So I was wondering… if you didn’t have to worry about making money or paying for anything and you could do all the art you wanted… what would you do? Like, would you want to just keep your art or sell it or have it in galleries?” Lexa asked, coming back to the table with two glasses of water. Once the brunette was sitting, her big green eyes meeting Clarke’s blue ones, the blonde hummed thoughtfully.

“I guess I haven’t really thought about it. I think the idea of people owning my art is pretty cool, but I get kind of attached to things I do. I’d rather like… I don’t know, enter them into competition and display them in galleries probably. But sometimes that doesn’t seem like the best money maker. And I know, you said without the money in mind, but it’s kind of hard to pretend like that’s not like, a major factor.”

Lexa nodded. “I get it. I still haven’t really seen your art yet, though, which I think is sort of unfair.”

“Well the next time you come over –  _ properly _ , I’ll add – I’ll show you. It’s kind of all just in the corner of my studio right now, anyway. Except for my older stuff, that’s all still at my mom’s place in DC. She kind of hates that I store it there, but she knows I don’t have anywhere else to keep it, so she deals.” Clarke took a bite of her food, practically moaning the instant she realized how good it is. “Oh my god, this is so good.”

Grinning, the brunette chuckled. “I’m glad you think so.” Clarke hurriedly took another bite, as if the food would disappear if she waited too long to eat it. “When I was little, I really wanted to be all artsy and cool, but I would try to draw literally stick figures and somehow manage to fuck it up. So I kind of gave up on that.”

“So… psychology?”

“Yeah, that’s kind of what I decided on in high school. You know, when your teachers and parents are basically all like ‘you need to figure out what you want to do with your life’ and all that shit,” Lexa said. She took a bite of her food, and Clarke mirrored her, silence landing in between them for a moment. As soon as she’d swallowed, Lexa continued, “And I really liked it, too. I like figuring people out and the way people’s brains work. But the whole…  _ job _ part of it… I couldn’t really get into that.”

“So you decided to say ‘fuck it’ and go to Europe?”

Lexa laughed, nodding. “Basically. And Europe was fun. I pretty much backpacked through France and Belgium, and just before I went into Holland, I met a girl there and well, we hooked up and it was fun. She was the one who taught me how to mix drinks and stuff. It was summer time then, and she was on break from university, so she came with me around Holland and parts of Germany for a couple of months. To be honest, I’m still not sure why she didn’t have better things to do. But at the end of the summer, she went back to university and I kept on going south from there, and by the time I was a ways into Italy, my parents told me that I was wasting the money they’d given me – which I totally was – and that they’d completely cut me off if I didn’t come back. Now, I’m sure that that was completely fair. I mean, they don’t really _ owe _ me any money, but they’ve been supporting me a lot since I moved out. This is the first year where they’ve pretty much been able to step out of the picture.”

“That’s nice of them,” Clarke commented. “Obviously, my mom cut me off when I dropped out of school, but if she hadn’t, me going to Europe definitely would’ve resulted in some major loss of funds. But my mom isn’t always the most understanding person, especially when it comes to what I want to do with my life, and like, money. But I can’t use anything to justify myself to her. If I tell her that living alone in New York with even two jobs is hard sometimes, she’d just tell me to give up on living in New York and to come back to DC. And I don’t really like going to see her, because she always brings up all the problems in my life, even when I’m trying to fix them.”

“Oh, that sucks.”

“Yeah, a lot. She wanted me back in DC for Thanksgiving this year, but I told her no. Mostly because I don’t want to see her, but also because I really need time and a half on that Thursday. I’m going to pull a double shift at the restaurant that day and make as much money in tips as I can. And I’ll probably work that whole week too as much as I can, since a lot of people will be requesting off for time with their families and shit,” Clarke admitted. “Plus, I’m going to see my mom for Christmas, and that’ll probably be the most I’ll want to see her for some time.”

“That’s very adult of you,” Lexa complimented slightly teasingly, giving the blonde a small smile. “You actually seem a lot more… I don’t know, grown up than when I first met you.”

“Uh, I’ve actually been grown up the whole time you’ve known me,” Clarke bit back jokingly, before laughing sadly. “No yeah, I probably am. To be honest, I think I just realized that I can’t be stuck living this same sort of way for my whole life. And everyone seemed to be moving forward except for me. I don’t know. And… well, you kind of had a lot to do with it. Getting me that job and everything, and just… I don’t know, being understanding? Octavia doesn’t push me all that much, but she makes some comments to me about things, and then Raven has her whole tough love thing going that kind of drives me insane. They both tried to help in their own way, but I think I’m just stubborn and I need someone to like… I guess, just  _ get me _ more.”

Lexa smiled, her eyes delving into Clarke’s, and Clarke felt her heart rate pick up considerably under that intense, yet somehow soft, gaze. “Well, I’m glad to have been that person for you.”

They finished eating, and Lexa rinsed out their bowls, leaving them in the sink and claiming that she’d do dishes later.

“So what now?” Clarke asked, batting her eyelashes slightly at the brunette. It had been a while since Clarke had gone on a date, but this was easily the most relaxed and enjoyable first date she’d ever experienced. And honestly, she didn’t really care what Lexa’s plans were for the rest of the night. As long as Clarke was with Lexa, she didn’t think she’d care what they were doing ever.

“I’ll be honest – I hadn’t really thought that far,” Lexa admitted. “Do you wanna watch a movie or something? I have some… but I don’t have Netflix or anything.”

“What? In this day and age, there are still people who don’t have Netflix?” Clarke asked, chuckling.

“Do you?”

“Of course.”

“And how often do you use that prescription?”

Clarke flushed a little. “Uh, always at least once a month, because or else that would be a waste of money.”

Lexa snickered. “I mean, I guess you do you. But unfortunately,  _ I _ do not have Netflix. So we can watch an old school DVD, if you want, but that’ll have to be it.”

“I haven’t watched a movie in a long time, if I’m honest,” Clarke said, glancing over at Lexa’s TV. The brunette followed her gaze for a moment and then walked past her, into the living area and to the cabinet under the TV.

“I don’t have a lot,” Lexa admitted, crouching down in front of it. Clarke followed her slowly, but her thoughts weren’t on the movies. They were at a slightly less innocent place. Clarke liked women – this was not new to her in any way. However, being both emotionally and physically attracted to a woman, that was new. And it was possibly one of the most intense feelings she’d ever had. The past week had been complicated and long, but before things got that way, she and Lexa had kissed. And it had felt amazing, and she wanted to feel it again, only…  _ more _ .

Clarke couldn’t help that she was a sexual being. She  _ liked _ sex, and she liked all of the things that went with it, and she  _ really _ liked Lexa. How she hadn’t realized it sooner, she wasn’t sure, but it was possibly hitting her all at once with the most intensity she’d ever felt.

“Do you wanna look, or?” Lexa asked, and Clarke realized she hadn’t said anything.

“You pick,” Clarke offered. “I don’t have much of a movie preference.”

Lexa hummed softly, grabbing a DVD case from under the TV and then putting it on. Clarke leaned against the arm of the couch behind her, trying not to stare at Lexa. But when the brunette finally stood and turned around as well, the TV now coming on behind her, a perfectly shaped eyebrow arched slightly. “What?”

“Thanks for dinner,” Clarke said, unable to think of anything else to say on the spot.

“You’re welcome,” Lexa answered. She was looking at Clarke somewhat oddly, and the blonde wondered if her fascination with the woman was written all over her face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just really…” Clarke swallowed thickly, pressing her lips together for a second. She stood up slightly straighter, no longer leaning against the arm of the couch, and glanced quickly between Lexa’s eyes.

“Yeah?” Lexa asked softly, prompting the woman to continue.

“I just really wanna… um…”

“What?” But Clarke knew that Lexa knew what Clarke wanted to do, so the blonde didn’t bother with trying to finish her sentence. Instead, she took a slight step forward, her gaze still locked onto Lexa’s green one, and closed the distance between them.

Although Clarke started the kiss, Lexa took control immediately, pressing even closer to the blonde. Her hands dropped to Clarke’s hips, tugging their bodies together, their lips moving gently but full of intent. Clarke let herself lips be led by Lexa’s, but when the woman’s tongue became a part of the situation, she wanted control, and Lexa let her take it. She explored Lexa’s mouth for a moment, her hands falling to her waist slowly. It felt so good to be this close to her.

But suddenly Lexa was in control again, in a way that made it feel like she had only let Clarke be in charge as a courtesy. Strangely, though, it felt good to let Lexa guide her. The brunette gently pushed Clarke backwards and onto the couch, and then she straddled her lap. Clarke’s hands fell involuntarily to Lexa’s ass, which was sat on her lap. Lexa hummed, her hands coming to Clarke’s face to push loose strands of blonde hair out of the way of her kiss.

They broke apart for air, but Clarke felt her want for Lexa rise in that brief moment, and she reconnected their lips as though the kiss was keeping her alive. Clarke felt her center heating up, and she wondered if Lexa could feel it from her position on top of her. But it didn’t matter, because after a few more, long moments, Lexa pulled her lips away deliberately and murmured, “We should stop here.”

Clarke took in a breath and nodded, even though personally, she didn’t care much if they kept on going. But if Lexa wanted to stop, of course they would stop.

After all, Clarke may like sex, but for now, she could wait if it meant she could be with Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeee :D I've been making really good progress on this story lately :D I wanna thank those of you who have been patient with me and who are still reading!! I really appreciate the feedback <3 Love you all, and I hope you all have a great week!! :D


	11. Take Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finds herself feeling more and more for Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautifuls!! Happy Sunday, aka update day!!  
> This chapter is the beginning of my thus far favorite part of this story (to be fair, this is all the stuff that gets fluffier and that I've written within the last couple of weeks).  
> From where I'm at right now, I'm anticipating maybe 6 more chapters, although I don't know for sure. I also don't know what chapter it is that I just finished, but I'll count before next weekend and give you all my official standing!
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** Clarke got back to her apartment at a little after eleven that night, after the movie had ended and she and Lexa had mustered up the energy to get up and go back to Clarke’s place. The blonde felt somewhat bad that Lexa had to bring her back at all, but the brunette didn’t seem bothered by it at all – not that she ever did normally. They didn’t talk a lot on the drive back, but the silence that settled in the car was peaceful rather than awkward.

But when Lexa stopped in front of Clarke’s apartment building, the blonde looked to the woman with eyes full of admiration. “Thank you for tonight, Lexa. And… I’m  _ so _ sorry about earlier this week…”

“No more apologies about that, okay?” Lexa pleaded. “I forgive you, okay? Just... don’t do it again. When I text you tomorrow, you better answer.” It was said with some level of comedy, but Clarke knew that the brunette was being serious.

“I will,” Clarke promised softly. “Thanks for the ride home.”

“Anytime.”

“I’ll see you… sometime.”

“See you sometime,” Lexa agreed, smiling. They both searched each other’s gazes for a moment, before exchanging a quick and gentle kiss, and then Clarke had to get out of the car. Lexa didn’t drive away until the blonde had entered the building, and by the time Clarke got up to her apartment, she already missed the woman.

As Clarke let herself into her place, she retrieved her phone from her purse for the first time since Lexa had picked her up.

**Oct-babe-via – Text me when your date is overrrrrrr**

**Oct-babe-via – Yo it’s late as fuck is your date over yet**

**Oct-babe-via – Ooh unless you guys are doing the nasty, in which case, keep doing that and don’t text me back**

**Oct-babe-via – But text me back once you’re done**

**Oct-babe-via – Making her come or just going on a date with her, whichever**

**Oct-babe-via – Okay I’ll shut up**

Clarke rolled her eyes, her lips quirking up into a half smile.

**Clarke – The date was awesome. We didn’t have sex – it was our first date you dumbass. But it went really, really well and she doesn’t hate me and things are good so I’m happy.**

**Oct-babe-via – YAY! I’m so glad! And you’re right, it’s not like sex on the first date is something new to you or anything >_>**

**Clarke – Lexa is different, Octavia**

**Oct-babe-via – I know, I’m just messing around <3 Okay but anyway you should sleep so you can get to work on time in the morning, but lemme know if you wanna meet up after you get off tomorrow!! X**

**Clarke – Will do!**

Clarke tossed her phone down onto her couch before tugging off her shirt and then her bra, letting them fall to the floor as she headed to her bathroom. Once there, she brushed her teeth and washed off her makeup, and then decided that she should definitely shower so that she didn’t forget to in the morning. Upon deciding this, she slid off her pants and underwear in one motion, and as they fell down her legs and onto the floor, Clarke looked over her body. Then she closed her eyes and remembered the feeling of Lexa’s lips on her – of Lexa’s  _ heat _ on her center, separated only by their stupid pants.

Clarke groaned, feeling her own heat pooling all of the sudden. She took a small step back, her back pressing against the cool wall, and let her left hand settle in between her thighs. Just thinking about making out with Lexa was making her wet. She wet her lips, leaning her head back against the wall as her fingers slowly began to slide through her own wetness, working herself slowly. She kept visuals of Lexa in her head – Lexa with her beautiful, brunette curls and her captivating green eyes, with her perfect figure and her radiant smile. She could almost feel Lexa pushing her down onto the couch again, even though it was her own pale hands now caressing her body. Her right hand trailed up to her breasts, playing with her nipples as her left hand continued to tease her.

Clarke’s breathing picked up, and she felt her body getting warmer and warmer despite the cool wall behind her. She finally slid her fingers inside herself gingerly, somewhat relieving the throbbing there. “Mm, Lexa,” she murmured out, her eyes still closed and picturing Lexa pinning her here.

Clarke had always pictured herself as a top if she were to be with a woman, especially considering how she was usually relatively dominant during sex with guys, but for some reason, the thought of Lexa topping her turned her on more than almost anything else. Her breathing continued to get faster, until her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn’t focus on anything other than the movement of her fingers.

“ _ Fuck _ , Lexa!” Clarke gasped out, getting so close. It usually took her a sincere amount of effort to make herself orgasm, but already she was almost there. “ _ Yes _ , please,  _ fuck _ !”

And then her orgasm tore through her body, causing one last deep moan to escape her lips, and then she fell somewhat limp against the wall. Her breathing began to slow steadily, until she felt calm enough to let her eyes fall open. She was met with her reflection in the mirror, her sweaty body looking softer than normal and her tired hand tucked in between her legs. Her hair was a mess from her head being pressed against the wall, and her eyelids were droopy. She pulled her fingers out of herself, glancing down at the wetness on them.

If she could masturbate this easily just thinking of Lexa, she could not imagine how good sex with her would be.

But she knew that she would be imagining just that until they did the deed.

And she didn’t know how long that would take, but she was willing to wait.

* * *

“So how was your date with Lexa?” Anya asked the next day during the gallery’s lunch break.

Clarke lifted an eyebrow. “You mean she didn’t already talk about it with you?”

“She did,” Anya said, “but I wanted to hear your side.”

“It was really good,” Clarke answered. “Way better than I could’ve hoped for, honestly. Lexa kind of blows me away.”

Lincoln chuckled. “How so?”

“I don’t know. I’ve just never met anyone like her,” Clarke admitted, blushing as she realized how smitten she sounded.

“I guess you really like her?” Luna asked.

At this point, it wasn’t like Clarke was going to deemphasize anything. “Yeah, I do. A lot.”

Clarke’s phone beeped, and she grabbed it a bit too quickly. She and Lexa had texted briefly the night before, but the brunette hadn’t messaged her yet that day. And yes, she was at work, but Clarke was prepared to answer as promptly as possible just to prove the point that she was not ghosting like she had the previous weekend.

And sure enough, the text message was from Lexa.

**Lexa – I’m grabbing a coffee down the street from the art gallery at 6 before I go in for an 8 hour shift.**

**Clarke – I hope you’re telling me because it’s an invitation and not because you want me to be avoiding all the nearby coffee shops after I get off**

**Lexa – You’re a dork, come have coffee with me when you get off.**

**Clarke – Gladly (: But there are like three different coffee shops so tell me which one D: <**

**Lexa – You know that one that has the cute cat on the sign above the entrance? I kinda wanted to try that place**

**Clarke – Cool, I’ll be there as soon as I’m off :)**

Lincoln was laughing about something when Clarke tuned back into the conversation. “What’s funny?”

“You,” Anya answered, “and how you fade out of the real world as soon as Lexa texts.”

Clarke blushed. “Leave me alone.”

“Should we tell Lexa to leave you alone too?”

“Uh, yeah that’s gonna be a no from me,” Clarke answered with a light laugh, finishing up her lunch. “Isn’t it about time for us to open up again?”

“Wow, look at the newest of us being the most responsible,” Lincoln said with a chuckle.

“That mostly makes you look bad,” Anya teased her brother. “Alright, let’s get back to work then.”

* * *

Clarke left work that day with a bounce in her step. Lexa had popped up in her mind a countless amount of times throughout the day, especially after texting her during lunch. But now she was about to see the brunette again, and she was possibly too excited.

Although could she really be  _ too _ excited?

She found herself approaching the coffee shop with her eyes already searching for the brunette. It wasn’t until she entered the coffee shop that she saw Lexa, who was already standing in the short line, looking at her phone to keep herself occupied. Clarke felt herself brighten up already, and she joined the brunette in line somewhat shyly.

“Hey, waiting for someone?” Clarke asked teasingly with a slight smile, drawing Lexa’s gaze.

“Yeah, just waiting for this girl I’m seeing. She’s supposed to be heading over here when she  _ finally _ gets out of work, because I’m about to head into a long ass shift,” Lexa answered, smirking a little.

“Wow, she totally sucks for making you wait then.” Clarke rolled her eyes and the brunette, who smiled a little wider.

“No, she’s pretty okay anyway,” Lexa admitted. “I mean, she didn’t ghost me today like she did last weekend, so that’s at least good.”

Clarke flushed. “Hey, I’ve apologized for that like, fifteen times.”

“I’m messing with you,” Lexa insisted. “How was work?”

“It was alright,” Clarke answered, “except for after my lunch break, because I spent the whole rest of the day just wanting to get off so I could come hang out with you before you get sucked into work.”

“You could always come to my place of work and hang out with me while I make a bunch of sad people drinks all night,” Lexa suggested with a bright smile.

“But then  _ I’ll _ wanna drink, and I’m trying  _ not _ to do that.” The line shortened and Clarke and Lexa stepped forward a little.

“Okay, that’s fair. Which nights are you free this week?” Lexa wondered, tilting her head slightly and lifting an eyebrow. Clarke thought her inquisitive face was adorable, and she found herself smiling slightly.

“Um, I don’t get my work schedule until later tonight, but I’ll text it to you when I get it?” Clarke suggested with a small smile.

“Deal.”

“Why? When do  _ you _ have free nights this week?” Clarke asked back, lifting an eyebrow inquisitively.

“Tuesday and Thursday,” Lexa answered. “And the late half of Saturday night.”

“Well, I will definitely be free the late half of Saturday night. Did you have anything specific in mind for us to do with our overlapping free time?”

“Hmm, not particularly.” Lexa’s green gaze was torn away from the blonde as the line moved up again, and suddenly, the brunette was ordering her coffee. Unsurprisingly, she was loading up on the caffeine for her long shift. Once Lexa had paid, Clarke ordered for herself, paid, and then the two of them migrated to the area where customers were waiting for their drinks to be finished.

“So, how about I take you out on Saturday night?”

Lexa lifted an eyebrow, a slight smirk on her face that made Clarke’s heart rate pick up slightly. “You want to take me out?”

“Yes… is that a problem?” Clarke bit her lip a little, trying not to get lost in the tension she felt with Lexa right now. Whether or not the brunette felt it as well was a mystery to Clarke, but if she did, then she was much better at handling herself than Clarke was. But the blonde was lost in Lexa’s gaze and her confidence and her beauty.

Lexa hummed thoughtfully. “No, I think that should be fine. I’ll have to check my calendar, though.”

“You’re such a weirdo,” Clarke said, laughing now. “You  _ just _ told me you were free. You trying to say you might have better things to do than go out with me?”

“No, you’re right, I don’t.” Lexa grinned dorkily now. Lexa’s name was called by the barista, and as she was grabbing her drink and a straw, Clarke’s drink was finished as well, and the two of them headed out of the coffee shop.

“So, I guess you’re in for a long Sunday night?”

“You’d be surprised how many people come to the bar on Sundays,” Lexa complained with a slight groan.

“Doubt it, considering that I’ve been one of those people more than once before. People are allowed to be sad and want a drink on Sundays too, you know,” Clarke teased.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. I mean, I’m getting paid, so I’m not really complaining.”

“There’s the right attitude.”

* * *

Clarke was laying on her stomach across her bed, drawing on one of her smaller sketchpads. As it turned out, deciding to not drink and therefore not going to the bar, was great at freeing up time on the weekends. At least, when Lexa was working. Because after getting back to her place and realizing that she didn’t have to be anywhere until the morning, she decided to do some drawing, and it felt great to finally have some real time for it.

But as she sketched quietly, enjoying the city sounds from outside her studio apartment, the lock on her door turned and Octavia pushed her way in frantically, causing Clarke to jump in surprise and almost mess up her whole drawing. “Oh my fucking god, Octavia, are you running for the cops or something? Jesus.”

“Sorry,” Octavia apologized with an eyeroll, “I just was realizing that it’s been almost twenty-four hours since your date with Lexa ended and you  _ still _ haven’t told me all the details!”

Clarke rolled her eyes, closing her sketchbook and sitting up as Octavia closed her door and started over to the somewhat curtained off area. “Define  _ details _ …”

“What did you do? Was she all chivalrous? It seems like she would be. I know you didn’t do the dirty, but did you get dirty at all? You just have to tell me what happened, C!”

Clarke sighed. “Okay, fine.” Octavia grinned excitedly, dropping her bag onto the floor and sitting on the edge of Clarke’s bed, facing the blonde with wide eyes. “She took me to her place and made dinner, and we talked and I told her that I decided I’m not drinking anymore. Then we turned on some movie and halfway through we ended up making out, but she stopped it before it got too far, which I get. Like,  _ I _ think she was still in the forgiving me process. I think after today, she’s definitely forgiven me.”

“You need to stop beating yourself up over Thursday night and just move on, Clarke,” Octavia said, all the sudden a billion times more serious. “Okay? If Lexa’s forgiven you, you need to forgive yourself. You made a mistake, but it wasn’t like you  _ actually _ fucked anything up, alright? Give yourself another chance.”

Sighing again, but this time more sadly, Clarke shrugged. “It’s just hard. I feel so shitty about it. It’s  _ so _ easy for me to talk to Lexa when I’m actually doing it, but the thought of explaining my shitty behavior to her was  _ so _ terrifying.”

“But she knows all your ins and outs now. Well, at least she knows a lot of them. You guys have been friends for over two months now, and after this weekend, I think you don’t have to worry about talking to her. You’ve talked to her about the hard stuff, C. The  _ hard _ part is over.”

“It’s all hard, Octavia,” Clarke argued. “I mean, in theory, it’s all hard. I’m taking her out on Saturday, and when I was asking her, it was easy. But now if I think about it, I get stressed out, because what if I don’t plan a good date? What if I fuck up somehow? But then I  _ know _ that by the time it happens, and she and I are hanging out together, it’ll all feel okay. And that’s such a weird fucking concept, seriously. I can’t remember the last time anyone could make me feel so secure when I’m with them, but so panicked and stressed when I’m not with them.”

“It’s because  _ you _ care.” Octavia narrowed her eyes at her best friend. “ _ You _ care what Lexa thinks about you, because you want her to like you, because you like her. And that is totally fair and valid and great, but you should try to relax. Like you said, you know that it’ll all be okay once you’re with her. So try to use that to stress out less while it’s leading up to it. And whether or not it’s all  _ hard _ , the  _ hardest _ part is over, okay? As long as you like… don’t, you know…”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m not going to pull a last week again, okay?”

Octavia smiled slightly. “Good talk. Oh, speaking of talks. Have you talked to Raven lately?”

“I talked to her yesterday,” Clarke said, remembering the previous day, “but I’m not sure that I want to talk to her right now.”

“Wait, why? What happened?”

Clarke leaned backwards slightly, hugging her sketchbook to her chest. “She told Lexa that I might go sleep with someone on Thursday night, you remember me telling you that?” Octavia nodded. “Well, yesterday I went to the bar and asked her if she said anything else to Lexa along those lines. Apparently, she told her that she doesn’t think I’m ready for a relationship, because I’ll become too dependent on Lexa and then some shit will happen and I’ll just fall to pieces. And I didn’t want to fight with her then, because I needed to get ready for my date and I know that, well… like, she has good  _ intentions _ . But it’s not her job to tell anyone things like that about me, and she… she just…  _ ugh _ . She doesn’t think I have any control over myself, but I  _ do _ . I might not always make the best decisions, but I have control over myself. Everyone that I’ve slept with in the past – I did that all by my own decision. No one made me do that. And yeah, I fucked up and got drunk and ended up taking a guy back here with me, but I had enough control to stop it before it got too far, because I care about Lexa, like, a  _ lot _ , and I didn’t want to fuck that up. And she doesn’t need to go making this even harder when I’m already struggling.” Clarke hadn’t even realized how emotional she was getting until she took in a shaky breath, silent now. Octavia looked completely taken aback.

“Hey look, you’re completely right to be upset. Raven does that tough love thing that she thinks always works, but it’s clearly gotten to you a lot. And I’m not really surprised that it has, too, because you typically just shrug it off anytime she says anything like that. But you’re totally right, her talking to Lexa was not cool. Do you want me to talk to her?”

Clarke shrugged. “I don’t know. I get  _ why _ she thought she was helping me, I guess, but she’s just been making things harder lately.”

“Let me talk to her, okay? And then you two can talk it out later this week.”

“Okay.”

They were silent for a second, and then Octavia leaned forward a little. “Listen, C. I’m really proud of you for talking about this – all of it.”

Clarke managed a small smile. “I guess I’m finally growing up, huh?”

“You were already grown up, Clarke, you were just having a hard time fitting into your skin,” Octavia insisted. “But you’ve managed to do that in these past couple of months, and you’re ready for a relationship. Okay? Don’t let the fact that it’s scary or hard get in the way. You like Lexa? You  _ go _ for her. Because you two are absolutely obsessed with one another, and she’s a great person, and it’s lucky as fuck when you get a chance like that. So you better not lose it.”

Clarke’s smile spread into a real one now. “Thanks, O.”

“Of course, what are best friends for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday, I played and finished episode 2 of Life Is Strange: Before The Storm, it was fucking good!! Anyone else play it? And speaking of, would there be any interest if I wrote a LiS fanfic with the RachelxChloe and ChloexMax love triangle? I'm thinking about doing a small one sometime after I finish this fic... any interest? They're my fave video game lesbians sooooo :3  
> Alrighty, I'm gonna go watch some of The Shannara Chronicles before I go to sleep ahah, I thankfully finished my homework that I wanted to get done this weekend, so yay!! I hope you all have a great weekend, be sure to follow me on Twitter @BrittzandTana !! Love you all!! x


	12. I'm Gonna Stand By You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia talks to Raven, and Clarke and Lexa's second date happens!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovelies!  
> So this is chapter 12, I've just about finished chapter 15, and I'm feeling roughly 5 more chapters for this story! My goal is to be finished with the whole thing by Thanksgiving break (Nov 17)! I'll be kind of busy over the break, meeting up with people I haven't seen in a while and doing some job training for my dad and whatnot, so I don't really want to be working on this during that week, but if I don't finish it by the beginning of the break, I will try to be finished by the end of it!  
> That said, I'm about to go into two weeks of midterms, so I might not be able to work on it as much as I want to until after that.  
> There's more to be said in the end notes, but for now..
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

Octavia was mad.

She’d tried not to seem too mad when Clarke was talking to her about Raven, and although she knew that Raven was somewhat of a hard ass to Clarke especially, she hadn’t realized how much it was getting to the blonde. To get some clarification, she’d texted Lexa and asked her to specify what Raven had said to her. Lexa had been slow to admit it, but once Octavia explained that Clarke had already talked to her about it, the brunette had finally opened up. And now, Octavia was mad.

Her, Raven and Clarke had a nice trio dynamic that had been going strong since college, but Octavia and Clarke had been attached at the hip since they were kids, and she couldn’t help but be protective. And the fact was that Clarke was actually having a great thing happen to her in life – Lexa – that had set things in the right direction for her. But they weren’t dependent on Lexa; Octavia knew Clarke too well to think that was the case. It wasn’t like Clarke didn’t want to have a steady income and a stable living condition, she just had a rocky past few years that she’d been stuck in. And now she was finally on the incline, and she was feeling like she could actually be in a relationship with someone – a someone who was probably one of the best people she could ask for. And Octavia knew all of this – both from Clarke telling her and from just knowing her best friend.

So yes, she was mad at Raven. Granted, so was Clarke, but while the blonde might be able to be blunt with Raven in the moment, it was likely that she’d avoid Raven rather than try and fix it. And that’s where Octavia came in. Raven needed a reality check, or else her friendship with Clarke would disintegrate, and Octavia was going to keep that from happening.

After work on Monday, Octavia shot the Latina a text asking where she was, and thankfully, she wasn’t at work yet. Octavia hopped in her car and drove the distance to Raven’s apartment, barely managing to park, before climbing the stairs up to Raven’s apartment. The Latina, although unsurprised that Octavia had dropped by, seemed instantly confused as to why Octavia was angry.

“Hey, O… what’s up?” Raven asked after letting the other woman into her apartment, and they’d both sat down on the couch in the living area.

“We need to talk.”

“Alright… what about?”

“Clarke.”

Raven lifted her eyebrows. “Okay… I haven’t talked to Clarke since Saturday. She didn’t come to the bar yesterday or today, but I know she was on a date with Lexa on Saturday…”

“Listen, Raven, you have been very out of line when it comes to Clarke and Lexa, and Clarke is really upset about it.”

Raven sighed. “I just don’t think she’s ready, Octavia.”

“That’s not your decision to make, Raven! And it might be acceptable for you give your opinion on that to Clarke, but to tell that to Lexa was incredibly unfair. Can you imagine how Clarke would’ve felt if Lexa had rejected her because of that? Clarke would be even more mad at you. You’re lucky that Lexa cares more than that.”

“Okay, but what happens if Clarke spirals out of control? I was trying to protect Lexa, who by the way, is also our friend.”

Octavia huffed. “You don’t give nearly enough credit to Clarke, Raven. She can take care of herself, okay? She’s been through a lot, and you know that. But she’s getting her life together, and you’re making it harder for her. I’m not telling you this just because I think you’re doing this, she also feels this way. Which is what matters. She’s used to you being blunt about what you think about her decisions and stuff, but this is different. She really likes Lexa, and Lexa forgave her for everything that happened last week – she gets that Clarke’s had it rough, and Clarke apologized to her. And nothing really happened. I mean, yeah she almost hooked up with a random, but she didn’t, and that’s what counts. And you’re taking that away by focusing only on the negative. Clarke is trying. You’re making it really fucking hard for her to even do that.”

Raven narrowed her eyes. “I’m not trying to be a bad guy, Octavia.”

“Well trying or not, you’re making yourself out to be. You need to chill out about Clarke and about Clarke and Lexa. She’s not incapable or inferior or stupid because of who she’s been with in the past. She’s proving that she is in control, and you’re devaluing that by alleging that she hasn’t been in control at all – that she doesn’t have any control. And you’re alleging that to people who aren’t Clarke, mostly to a girl who Clarke really likes. Okay? So stop. Just let it be.”

“Fine, whatever. But if shit goes down, no one can say that I didn’t try.”

“Okay, no one will say that, and in return, you’re never going to ‘I told you so’ Clarke if something like that happens.”

“Jesus Christ, okay, Octavia. I didn’t say I would do that. Calm down.”

Octavia crossed her arms. “I don’t think you realize why I’m talking to you, Rae. Obviously it’s to help Clarke, but you know Clarke, and you know that when she doesn’t know how to fix something, sometimes she just avoids it. And I know that you don’t approach people and try to make amends very often. But if you want to stay friends with Clarke, you’re going to have to buckle the fuck up and apologize to her, because she’s mad, and she’s not going to try to talk to you about it.”

“We always make amends about shit like this when she’s at the bar, it’s like our thing, O.”

“This is different, okay? As I’ve explained, it’s worse. Plus, you probably won’t be seeing Clarke at the bar very much unless she’s meeting Lexa there after a shift or something.”

Raven narrowed her eyes. “Why not?”

“Oh right, she probably didn’t tell you. She’s going sober,” Octavia said, lifting an eyebrow as she waited for Raven’s reaction. “She decided after Thursday night.”

“Wait, for real?”

“Yeah. Now I’m sure that sounds just like someone who doesn’t have any control.”

Raven sighed. “I get it, Octavia. I’ve been too hard on her... but that’s just how I am and it’s because I care about her.”

“That’s not good enough, Raven.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’ll try to be less of a bitch about it.”

“Don’t apologize to me about it, apologize to Clarke. And you might want to have something a little more apologetic than an ‘I’ll try.’” Octavia stood up from the couch. “I’ve gotta go – I’m having dinner with Bellamy. I’ll see you later.”

That was true, she did have dinner plans with her brother, but that actually wasn’t for another hour or so. But Octavia couldn’t keep this back and forth up with her friend. She needed Raven to realize that she was in the wrong on her own, and hopefully Octavia’s whole spiel helped her start to realize it.

Hopefully, because or else her two best friends might not be friends with each other for that much longer.

* * *

Thursday night was the only night off overlap between Clarke and Lexa’s schedules that week, and as soon as Clarke had let Lexa know that, the brunette had promptly asked if Clarke wanted to get dinner and see a movie that night – apparently, there was something out that Lexa really wanted to see. And Clarke didn’t really care – as long as she got to hang out with the brunette.

She was less nervous for the date this time around, which was reassuring. On one hand, she was slightly stressed about taking Lexa out on Saturday, but she was kind of trying not to think too much about it. Every time she overthought something that had to do with Lexa, she panicked, and she was trying to take Octavia’s advice. 

To keep Lexa from having to worry about parking, Clarke was ready and waiting out on the sidewalk a few minutes before Lexa was planning on picking her up. When the car slowed to a stop on the side of the road, Clarke quickly clambered in, feeling whatever small amount of nervousness she’d had disappear quickly.

“Hey, you,” Lexa said brightly. “How’s your week been?”

“You ask that like we haven’t been texting every day,” Clarke said with a chuckle. It was true – they’d developed a steady texting conversation. When one of them was on break or off work, they would reply to whatever the last person would send. Rarely when they were texting were they both replying quickly – except for early in the morning or late at night. It was becoming a slight problem for Clarke, actually, because on Monday night, she’d gotten off work around eight, and Lexa had gotten off after eleven. And normally Clarke would’ve been trying to sleep by then in order to actually wake up on time for her early shift the next morning, but Lexa replied to an earlier text upon getting off work, and they were wrapped up in conversation for over an hour.

That said, Clarke loved texting Lexa. It wasn’t as great as seeing her in person, of course, but it was a great pick me up for the end of a long day of work. “Okay well,” Lexa said with a slightly eyeroll as she pulled back onto the road, “you have to answer anyway. That’s conversation rule number one.”

“Oh is it? In the Handbook Of Conversation by Lexa Woods?” Clarke asked with a chuckle. “My week has been above average. How’s yours been?”

“About average – until today. Until about thirty seconds ago actually. It’s pretty great now.”

“You are literally so cheesy.”

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows. “Okay well, is that a problem?”

Clarke had to fight her grin. “No.”

“Good.”

They drove to dinner, talking about their days thus far. They were going to a Japanese place, and since Clarke had been living on a pretty strict budget as of late, she was really excited to eat something that wasn’t either takeout, a sandwich, or some of the leftover free food she managed to get after she worked a shift at the restaurant.

The dinner was really good too, and Clarke tried to argue with Lexa and pay for her own meal, but the brunette wasn’t having it. To be completely honest, Clarke didn’t argue too seriously. She’d already known that Lexa wouldn’t let her pay.

Lexa left her car where she’d parked it for the restaurant, because the movie theater was just a block away.

“It’s getting so cold out,” Clarke reflected, tugging her coat around her as they left the restaurant, full and happy.

“That a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I actually like the cold,” Clarke admitted, “it just means I have to lug a huge coat around everywhere and wear layers and shit. So on one hand it’s nice, and on the other hand it’s like… a pain in the ass.”

“Wearing layers isn’t that bad.” Lexa shrugged as they walked.

Clarke groaned. “But they’re so hard to take off.”

“It’s not like you need to take your clothes off in record time,” Lexa said with a chuckle, and Clarke felt a smirk coming to her face as she turned her head to make eye contact with the brunette.

“Sometimes you do.” And that was the first time that Clarke saw Lexa blush when she wasn’t intoxicated, and it elicited a grin from the blonde.

“Yeah, okay, whatever,” Lexa muttered, and Clarke laughed lightly, gathering her courage and reaching out to grab Lexa’s hand. The brunette intertwined their fingers without a thought, and they walked in a peaceful silence toward the theater from there.

Once at the theater, Lexa pointed out which movie it was that she wanted to see, wondering if that was okay with Clarke. The blonde honestly didn’t care what movie they watched, so she nodded a long as she listened to Lexa explain the premise, and then gladly agreed. Lexa bought their tickets, and in return, Clarke insisted that she buy them popcorn. And once that was all taken care of, they found themselves in one of the small theaters while previews ran, waiting for the movie to start.

Clarke really enjoyed the movie, but what she loved more was listening to Lexa’s comments about it. Apparently, when watching non-scary movies, Lexa was a movie talker, and Clarke honestly didn’t mind. It wasn’t super excessive anyway, but Clarke couldn’t help but smile every time Lexa said anything.

They also had their hands clasped together during the duration of the movie, and Lexa’s thumb stroked over the back of Clarke’s the whole time, and it left the blonde with her heart constantly beating faster than normal.

When the movie was over, Clarke wished that she didn’t have work in the morning so that she could maybe suggest doing something else with Lexa while they were already together. But instead, Lexa dropped her off at her apartment, left her with a soft goodbye kiss, and the she was alone.

After showering and getting ready for bed, she laid down under her soft covers and took out her phone. Despite having spent the evening with Lexa, her first instinct was still to text the brunette, so she did.

**Clarke – Hey, thanks for tonight. I had fun :)**

**Lexa – Of course. (: Don’t you have work in the morning? You should go to sleep**

**Clarke – Yeah but talking to you is more fun**

**Lexa – Wow I’m flattered :P**

**Clarke – What’s it like not having to work really early in the morning? What kind of things do you spend your nights doing?**

**Lexa – It’s quite nice, but normally I work all night and just pass out once I’m home. On night like this… depends on how I’m feeling I guess**

**Clarke – How are you feeling tonight?**

**Lexa – Better than average :)**

**Clarke – So what are you going to do then?**

**Lexa – I’m actually already showered and in bed, so I might end up calling it an early night.**

**Clarke – Ooh, I am also showered and in bed**

**Lexa – Wow, I’m so proud lol**

Clarke felt a smile spread across her face and, somewhat nervously, she decided to hit the call button next to Lexa’s name on her phone. She brought the phone up to her ear, and after half a ring, Lexa answered.

“You realize we were just talking in person like an hour ago, right?” Lexa asked with a soft laugh.

“Yes, but I like talking to you, so why stop just because we’re in two different places? This is the twenty first century you know?” Clarke murmured, pulling her blankets up and around herself slightly more tightly.

“Okay, I’ll give you that one. You sound tired, though, you should really sleep. What time to do you have to be at work in the morning?”

“Nine,” Clarke murmured, “but that’s not super early. I’ll be fine. I have time to talk to you.”

“What do you want to talk about then?” Lexa sounded amused, but Clarke was just glad that she was humoring her.

“I don’t know.”

Lexa laughed, and the bright sound brought an instant smile to Clarke’s lips. “You’re too much.”

“You could talk about anything and I’d be interested,” Clarke admitted with a happy sigh. “I can’t help that I like hearing you talk, okay?”

“You should’ve just come over to my place then,” Lexa said quietly.

“But I have work tomorrow.”

“I know,” Lexa agreed, “but if you’re going to stay up all night to talk to me anyway…”

“Hmm, so if I’d come over we’d stay up all night and talk?”

“Yeah, were you thinking something else?”

Clarke blushed, knowing that Lexa was messing with her but unsure of how to reply. “I could think of some other things we might be able to do.”

Lexa laughed, the sound slightly lower than normal, and it caused Clarke’s heart to race. She swallowed thickly. “Oh yeah?”

“I’m not about to talk dirty to you over the phone when I haven’t even done it in person,” Clarke decided, knowing that her face was red and glad that Lexa couldn’t see. To be honest, this was the first time in a long while that she was feeling embarrassed over sexual acts.

Lexa laughed again. “I never asked you to.”

“Oh yeah?” Clarke imitated, smirking a little.

“Hey, just because you interpreted it that way doesn’t mean that’s what I meant.”

“Mmhmm, sure Lexa.”

“Maybe this was your plan all along – to get me on the phone so you could bring up sex.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Yes, that was my grand scheme. Step one, get Lexa on the phone. Step two, get her to sound suggestive. Step three, phone sex.”

Lexa laughed loudly at that, and Clarke smiled. “Oh my god.”

“What? You don’t wanna have phone sex with me?”

“Maybe we could… you know, do the real sex first.”

“’Do the real sex.’ I’m dating a real sex expert, huh?”

Lexa hummed in the affirmative. “Obviously.”

“Good to know,” Clarke said with a chuckle. She was feeling less tired now somehow, and she actually thought of something to talk about. “Hey, so… do you have any preference for what we do on Saturday night? I haven’t taken anyone out on a date in a while, and I don’t… well, I don’t want to disappoint I guess.”

“I promise that you won’t disappoint me unless you like, somehow trigger some major disaster to happen or something,” Lexa insisted. “I don’t care what we do. I just wanna hang out with you.”

“Aw, how sweet.”

“Don’t tease me, you’re the one who watched me more than the movie earlier,” Lexa insisted.

“Uh, no,” Clarke denied, although her face was warming anyway. “Okay, maybe, but it’s not my fault that you’re so cute, okay?”

“Mm, cute huh?”

“A little bit.”

Lexa chuckled. “Well thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Mm.”

“So should I be bracing myself for Saturday night, or…?”

“What, you don’t think I’ll do a good job planning a date?”

“You didn’t really instill me which much faith,” Lexa justified.

Clarke hummed. “Fair enough.” A yawn suddenly escaped Clarke’s lips.

“Go to sleep, Clarke, you have work in the morning.”

“Mm okay, fine. I’ll text you tomorrow?”

“If you don’t, I will,” Lexa promised.

“Goodnight, Lexa.”

“Night, Clarke.”

So Clarke hung up the phone call, sitting up slightly to plug her phone into its charger, before letting herself fall limply into her pillow. Feeling happy and strangely calm, she quickly drifted off into a nice sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! Who's watched The Carmilla Movie ?!? I watched it last night and all of the bundle stuff that I got with my preorder package I watched today, and I'm just so shook by how good it was. I'm really hoping there's something to come after, because if this is the last thing I get to see Natasha and Elise in together, I'm going to be actually heartbroken. The movie was so amazing and I just love them so much, eeek I'm emotional it's fine.  
> I feel really tired but I woke up at 11:30 this morning because I'm dumb and I was up until 4am LOL. Although for that I blame my period a little bit >_>  
> On a different note, yesterday I went to a farmer's market and bought some vegan cheese that's actually pretty decent and I got some seitan which is eh, alright, but aLSO I found some almond milk based chocolate pudding and it's actually soo good!!! They also had this really good looking vegan cheesecake but I decided not to get any and that I'll buy it for my reward for finals at the end of the semester lol xD  
> I hope you all had a good weekend and that you'll all have a great week!! I'll see some of you on Thursday, some on Friday, and definitely on Sunday, but if you follow me on Twitter @BrittzandTana you can see me every day :D xx


	13. Caught Up Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa are excited for their date on Saturday. Raven talks to Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies! It's time for an update!
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

Clarke used to spend her breaks either scrolling through her boring social media feeds or texting Octavia – if the girl wasn’t working at the time. Octavia’s breaks had been kind of sporadic since she got her new job, so it was rare that Clarke was able to text her. Today however, not only was Octavia free to text for the same half hour as Clarke, Lexa had also texted the blonde, and as Clarke slowly ate her lunch in the break room of the restaurant, she was jugging two text conversations at once with her two favorite people to talk to.

**Octavia – So did you decide what you and Lexa are doing on your date tomorrow?**

**Clarke – No, but I’m sure I’ll think of something beforehand. She said she doesn’t care what we do, so that’s good at least.**

* * *

**Clarke – What time do you go into work today?**

**Lexa – Pretty early actually. I’m taking a double :(**

**Clarke – At least you’re making good money though**

* * *

**Octavia – That’s good. You think you’re gonna get laaaaaid? ;D**

**Clarke – Possibly..**

* * *

**Lexa – That’s true, the money always makes it worth it.**

**Clarke – I’ll keep telling myself that through the next five hours of my shift.**

* * *

**Octavia – What do you mean possibly? Elaborateeee**

**Clarke – I’m done to have sex with her whenever she’s ready to have sex with me, so it’s pretty much all her choice. So if it happens, it happens, otherwise I’ll wait. I’m not a sex monsterrrr**

* * *

**Lexa – I’m sure you’ll be fine, just remember that it’s the weekend after today so you’ll get to actually do a job you like doing, and then you get to hang out with me :D**

**Clarke – I guess the job thing is true, but I’m mostly excited to hang out with you ;)**

**Lexa – Obviously, because I’m awesome XD**

**Clarke – You are!**

Clarke started getting a bunch of messages from Octavia all of the sudden, and at the same time, she got one from her mom. She watched Octavia’s messages coming in from the top of the screen as she clicked over to her mom’s message.

**Octavia – Okay, but you have to be horny as fuck**

**Octavia – How long has it been since you had sex again?**

* * *

**Mom – Hey! I need confirmation on Christmas soon please!**

**Clarke – I’ll be there!**

Sighing, Clarke clicked out of the text message with her mom and hit the one on the top of the list – Octavia – as her phone vibrated. She quickly typed out her response to Octavia before checking the new notification.

**Clarke – It’s been like 2.5 months soooo maybe a little**

As she clicked out of the message, her eyes widened. She’d gotten a new text message from Lexa just as she clicked the top thread in her messages app, and she’d just sent that text meant for Octavia to Lexa, in reply to the message she hadn’t even realized she’d received.

**Lexa – Well thank you ahah**

Just as she was mildly freaking out, Lexa replied to the accidental message.

**Lexa – What?**

**Clarke – Oh shit, sorry that was meant for Octavia**

**Lexa – Lol you’re fine**

**Lexa – It’s been 2.5 months since what?**

**Clarke – Umm lol since I had sex with anyone**

Clarke felt her cheeks warming up as she sent the message, watching the little typing bubble as she waited for Lexa’s response.

**Lexa – Oh XD**

**Lexa – So you’re maybe a little what?...**

**Lexa – … Horny? :P**

Clarke knew that her face was bright red at this point, and she swallowed thickly, biting her lower lip.

**Clarke – Maybe…**

**Lexa – Hmm… XD**

**Clarke – Well now that I’m blushing and embarrassed I guess I better get back to work >.<**

**Lexa – Wait wait wait**

**Lexa – Are you coming to the bar tonight?**

**Lexa – I forgot that Raven asked me to tell you that she wanted you to so that she could talk to you. She’s not working until 9, I think she wanted to talk to you before her shift starts.**

**Lexa – You didn’t tell me that you and Raven weren’t talking?**

**Clarke – Oh**

**Clarke – Okay I guess I’ll come by then**

**Clarke – Yeah I’m kind of mad at her**

**Clarke – I’ll explain when I see you, I have to get back to work :(**

**Lexa – Okay**

**Lexa – Power through it! It’s Friday! Tomorrow you get to take me on a date ;)**

**Clarke – I’ll be sure to keep that in my thoughts as motivation xD**

* * *

Clarke got off work at seven, and as she walked out of the restaurant, she considered texting Raven to find out what time the brunette wanted to meet up with her at the bar. If her shift started at nine, it would depend on how long Raven intended that they talk.

The only reason that Clarke was even agreeing to talk to Raven was because Octavia said that she’d talk to her. But Octavia hadn’t said anything about it since then, and Clarke had been trying not to think about it – which to be honest was pretty easy when she was mostly working or at her apartment by herself anyway. It was bound to be brought up again by the weekend, so she wasn’t particularly surprised.

That said, she wasn’t really excited to talk to Raven. She had a feeling that all she was going to get was a bunch of bullshit and excuses about tough love.

She also felt mildly bad about not talking about it to Lexa, but at the same time, Lexa did have to work with Raven a few nights out of the week, and it might’ve been pretty awkward if Lexa had been aware of Clarke and Raven not really talking. And Raven also could’ve mentioned it to Lexa, but apparently that hadn’t happened either. Maybe she was also trying to avoid the awkwardness.

Clarke opted not to text Raven, but to head straight to the bar. Hopefully Raven wouldn’t be there yet, and Clarke could get a chance to talk to Lexa if it wasn’t already super busy. It was a Friday night after all.

As she started walking the distance to the bar, she pulled out her phone to check her messages.

**Octavia – Girl you never answered me :(**

**Clarke – Sorry, I accidentally sent my response to YOU to Lexa on accident and then I just forgot to actually reply to you lol**

**Clarke – It’s been 2.5 months**

**Clarke – But now Lexa apparently knows that I’m horny so maybe I will get laid this weekend XD But ofc I’m not expecting it, because that would be douchebag-y of me and I’m not a douchebag (-:**

**Octavia – That’s very considerate of you XD**

**Octavia – Are you off work? Wanna get dinner?**

**Clarke – Maybe later… I’m headed to the bar right now. Apparently Raven wants to talk to me, but instead of telling me herself, she asked Lexa to tell me**

**Clarke – So I’m going to go now and talk to Lexa until Raven shows.**

**Octavia – She is JUST NOW wanting to talk to you? Wtf I talked to her on Monday**

**Clarke – I guess she needed time?**

**Octavia – I guess. I’m just mad at her**

**Clarke – To be fair, Raven’s not really used to making nice with people**

**Octavia – Don’t know if that’s a valid excuse, but whatever**

**Octavia – Lemme know when you’re done, I need to rant about my day >:(**

**Clarke – Will do!**

* * *

Clarke walked into the bar a little while later, her hands stuffed in the pockets of the coat she was wearing over her work uniform. The place was started to get a little busy, but there were two bartenders working – and one of them was the beautiful woman that Clarke could never get out of her head.

Lexa was in the middle of making a drink and seemingly listening to the ramblings of the woman who had ordered said drink. Clarke noticed a couple of empty barstools at the end of the bar, and she quietly made her way over to one, taking a seat there and resting her arms on the counter, looking over at Lexa patiently. When the brunette finally finished the woman’s drink, she exchanged it for a wad of cash, which she counted quickly before nodding to the woman and turning away, looking relieved. Her gaze instantly fell on Clarke, and that beautiful face lit up.

“Hey,” Lexa chimed, surprised as she approached the blonde. “I didn’t think you’d be around until Raven was.”

“I didn’t want to text her and ask when she was going to be here, so I figured I’d come and see you beforehand,” Clarke admitted with a small smile. “You know, since I spent all day thinking about you to get through the shitty work day.” She said the last part as somewhat of a joke, but it really was true.

“At least you got off before midnight,” Lexa justified with a chuckle. “Do you want something? A virgin something, of course.”

Clarke shrugged. “I can’t remember the last time I had any drinks virgin, um… sure I guess. Whatever you think I’ll like.” Lexa chuckled, nodding and starting to grab for a glass.

“So, what exactly happened with you and Raven?”

“Um… you know how last week, when everything happened, she talked to you about me? You told me that she said I might’ve gone and hooked up with someone, and when I asked her what else she told you, she said she told you that she doesn’t think I’m ready for a relationship. Remember? I told you that she told me what she told you,” Clarke said kind of quietly.

Lexa wasn’t smiling anymore. “Yeah, I remember. I told you that it doesn’t matter what she said to me.”

“Yeah, well, she then proceeded to tell me why she doesn’t think that I’m ready for a relationship. Apparently I have no control over my actions and me dating you means that I’m becoming entirely dependent on you or something… anyway, I know that what she said to you doesn’t matter to you, and I’m grateful for that, because Raven is wrong. But I’m still mad at her for saying anything, because it isn’t her job to tell people whether I’m ready for things or not, you know? Anyway, it’s been really bothering me, and she always does this sort of thing, but this was too far I guess. I talked to O about it and she talked to Raven on Monday. I guess Rae decided that she wants to say something to me now.” Clarke shrugged.

Lexa nodded. “I get it, that’s not fair of her. To be completely honest, the reason what Raven told me doesn’t matter to me is because… well… she told me that you weren’t ready for anyone, and that I shouldn’t pursue you because you might hurt me.” Clarke nearly flinched at hearing that. “But I’ve never really been down to back down from something just because there’s a chance of me getting hurt. And even though it did hurt a little that you weren’t texting me back, I knew that there was an explanation behind it, because I could tell that you liked me, and I really like you, Clarke.” Clarke felt her cheeks heating up, and Lexa finally smiled again, setting a completed drink in front of the blonde. “I hope you and Raven can work things out, but just know that I trust you, okay? I know that last week wasn’t the best week for you, but I trust that you care about me enough to talk to me and to trust me as well. Okay?”

“Okay,” Clarke said quietly, smiling back at the brunette. “Thank you. For the drink and… for that.”

“Of course.” Lexa smiled.

* * *

It was about half an hour later that Raven came into the bar, her face red from the chill outside which was undoubtedly worse than when Clarke had last been outside. But it was toasty in the bar, thankfully, and Clarke had shed her jacket a little earlier. As soon as Raven was inside, her gaze fell on Clarke. “Clarke. Hey.”

“You wanted to talk, right?” the blonde asked. Lexa had been helping customers for the past ten minutes or so, so the blonde hadn’t been doing anything, and she was about ready to talk to Raven and go get dinner with Octavia. She’d finished her virgin drink already, and the glass sat empty in front of her. As Raven approached her, seemingly trying to gather her thoughts, she glanced at the glass warily. Sighing, Clarke clarified, “It was virgin. Lexa made it for me while I was waiting for you.”

“Right. Octavia told me you aren’t drinking anymore.”

“Yeah. So. What’s up?”

“Look, Clarke… I owe you an apology. I’ll admit… it was hard for me to try to see things from your point of view… it still is kind of hard. But that’s not an excuse. I was out of line, or rather, I crossed a line by talking to Lexa about you. And I probably discredited you a lot by what I said. So I’m sorry. And… I can’t promise to be the sweetest person ever in the future, but I’ll lay off the judgment thing. You’re my friend, and I shouldn’t target you like that. And what I did last week – that’ll never happen again.”

Clarke nodded. “Thank you, Raven.”

“I just really don’t want to lose you, and I didn’t even realize that I was driving you away. But you’re one of my best friends, and I had to make it right. Please forgive me?” Raven looked slightly uncomfortable, and whether it was because she wasn’t used to asking for forgiveness or because she was scared that Clarke wouldn’t forgive her would remain a mystery.

“Of course.”

“And I’m really glad that Lexa is smart enough to ignore what I said… clearly I didn’t know what I was talking about, and… if Lexa makes you happy, you should be with her. You deserve to be happy – actually happy – for once.” Clarke felt a smile come to her lips as she heard this.

“Thank you, Rae.” She glanced over her shoulder at Lexa, who was still helping a customer at the other end of the bar. “She does make me happy.”

“Good.” Clarke looked back at Raven. “Should we hug it out? It feels like we should hug it out.” Clarke laughed, standing from the barstool and wrapping her arms around her friend. When they pulled apart, Raven was smiling. “Right so, I’m going to go ahead and get to work. Tina – that’s the other bartender who’s here right now – apparently has somewhere better to be, so I’m here an hour early.”

“What a rough life,” Clarke teased. Raven rolled her eyes.

“You gonna stay for long?”

“No, I’m supposed to meet Octavia,” Clarke answered, “so I’ll just say bye to Lexa and head out.”

Raven nodded. “Well, I’ll see you later then.” Clarke nodded, and the Latina disappeared into the back room behind the bar. A couple of minutes later, Lexa was coming back toward Clarke’s side of the bar.

“How’d it go?”

“Good. She apologized,” Clarke admitted with a bright smile.

Lexa grinned. “Good, I’m glad! So you heading out then?”

“Yeah, Octavia wants me to get dinner with her, she apparently has something she wants to rant about. I’ll see you tomorrow night, though, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Clarke blushed a little as Lexa gave her that charming smile she always used. The blonde had the urge suddenly to lean over the counter and kiss Lexa, but she chickened out, and just gave the brunette one last smile.

“In the meantime, don’t work too hard.”

“Pft, obviously not. You know me. Biggest slacker ever.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Bye.”

“See you tomorrow, beautiful.”

* * *

Late that night, to the point where it was actually Saturday morning, the last customers trickled out of the bar, and Lexa breathed out a sigh of relief. It had been a long day of working, and she was ready to get some sleep.

“Long day, huh?”

Lexa glanced over to Raven and nodded. “You have no idea. I’m not used to pulling doubles.”

“Lately it feels like I pull doubles here even when I don’t, since I’m usually at the university all day,” the Latina said, “but I get it. There a period of time over the summer where I really needed the cash, so I was working opening to close almost every day.”

“Damn, yeah I’m not sure I could handle that.”

“You were covering for someone right? Not in desperate need of the money?”

Lexa shrugged. “Yeah, but the money doesn’t hurt either. It’s helpful to pull a double every now and then. But I can’t imagine doing it every day.” Silence settled between them as they started the nightly routine of locking up the alcohol and wiping down the counters. After a few minutes of the silence, though, Lexa couldn’t help but speak again. “So, you and Clarke made up?”

“Yeah,” Raven said, sounding relieved. “I crossed a line talking to you about her. And I know you were mad at me when I did it, too, so… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad that you apologized to Clarke. She didn’t talk to me much about it, but she was upset. So I’m happy things worked out,” Lexa admitted. And after another pause, she said, “Also, for what it’s worth, Raven… I fully trust Clarke. I think she has a lot better of a handle on things now, especially after last week, and I don’t think she’s going to spin out of control or anything.”

Raven nodded, not saying anything else on the topic. Lexa let the silence resume, but then a few minutes later, it was Raven breaking it. “You guys getting serious then?”

“I mean, it’s only been a week since our first date,” Lexa answered. “We went out again earlier this week. We’ve been texting pretty much nonstop while we aren’t working. She’s taking me out tomorrow.”

“Really? I guess she really does like you. I’ve never heard of Clarke taking anyone out,” Raven joked. “Although to be fair, her last relationship was kind of shitty. I wouldn’t have wanted to take her boyfriend at the time out on a date either.”

“Plus there’s that whole heteronormative, stereotypical thing of the guy taking the girl out,” Lexa volunteered with a shrug. “She asked me, though, and I wasn’t about to say no.”

“Do you know what you guys are doing?”

“No, and I’m not quite sure that she knows yet either. But I don’t really mind what we do.”

“Because you just wanna hang out with her?” Raven asked, waiting for the nod from Lexa. Upon receiving it, she teased, “That’s all sweet and sappy of you.”

“Yeah well, I like Clarke a lot,” Lexa admitted. “And I couldn’t ever tell what signals I was getting from her when we were just friends, but then at the Halloween party, when I found out that she was also interested in girls… it clicked that they were the signals I wanted to get.”

“Man, I never noticed at all. Apparently Octavia did, though. To be fair, I do notice them now. Like, if I think back, I think that I get it.”

Lexa nodded, glancing at the time. They were just about done with the cleaning, and it was nearing two in the morning. “I can’t wait to get some sleep tonight.”

“You deserve it,” Raven said with a chuckle. “Why don’t you head out? I’ll finish up the last of things here.”

Lexa flashed the Latina smile. “Thanks. I’ll see you… Sunday I guess.”

“Yeah, see you then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, I spent like 8 hours yesterday doing homework and finishing a bunch of stuff that isn't due for a couple of weeks, and so I rewarded myself for all of that by playing Civ VI for like 6 hours today lol. So now I'm gonna get ready for bed, do some studying for a test I have in the morning (which I'm not anticipating will be too hard thankfully), and then I'm gonna call it a night and sleep. Two more weeks until Thanksgiving break! I didn't get a lot of time this past week to work on this story, but I will be working on it a lot next weekend and the week after that! (I have a calc test on Friday that studying for will be occupying a lot of my time between now and then..)  
> Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely day/night! Be sure to follow me on Twitter @BrittzandTana :D See you all next Sunday (some of you on Thursday or Friday, of course c; )


	14. Sleepover In My Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke takes Lexa out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies, it's update time!!  
> (Check out my Twitter @BrittzandTana for cool things!)
> 
> Enjoy!xx

**** Clarke got off work on Saturday feeling both nervous and excited for her date with Lexa. The night before, after listening to Octavia’s rants about work, she asked her best friend for advice about planning her date with Lexa. Octavia had been somewhat helpful, but most of Clarke’s planning had occurred during her shift that day at the art gallery. Anytime she wasn’t seriously thinking about something else, she’d been trying to work out a plan in her head.

Her main issue was that she didn’t have a car, and she didn’t want to take the subway or a cab, so she had been working her plan around being able to walk places. By the time she’d had her lunch break, she’d at least worked out part of her plan, and she texted Lexa to meet her at Clarke’s apartment at seven – but they weren’t going to stay there. Lexa had inquired further about the date, but the blonde had insisted that she would have to wait and see. Of course, Lexa wasn’t bothered by that anyway.

So by the time Clarke got off work, she was yes, both excited and nervous. She found herself rushing to get back to her apartment before seven so that Lexa wouldn’t somehow get there first. That meant grabbing a taxi and forking over the cash to the cabbie instead of taking the time take the cheaper subway.

She made it back at six-thirty, thankfully, and had enough time to fix her makeup and change her clothes and text Octavia frantically, receiving some much needed reassurance from her friend. Around that time, Raven also texted Clarke a nice “Hope you have fun on your date with Lexa!” and Clarke appreciated that the Latina was putting forth the extra effort to be supportive. It made her feel slightly more relaxed, which she definitely needed.

And when she finally heard a knock on her studio apartment’s front door, she grabbed her purse, slung it over her shoulder, and went to open said door. Doing so revealed Lexa, wearing a dark black top with long sleeves, one of which that fell over her otherwise bare shoulder slightly, and dark wash jeans. She was wearing somewhat heeled boots as well, and had a nice coat in her arms.

“Hey,” Lexa greeted brightly.

“Hey yourself!” Clarke returned, pulling on the sides of her coat, which she was already wearing. “You better put that coat back on, we’re not staying here. And you look nice – by the way.”

“Oh thanks,” Lexa said. She lifted her eyebrows in slight surprised as she pulled her coat back on. “Where are we going?”

“I told you that you’d have to wait and see,” Clarke reminded the brunette.

Lexa hummed amusedly. “Okay yeah, you did say that.” Clarke started walking out of her apartment as Lexa walked further into the hallway. After quickly locking her front door, the blonde was ready to go, and she and Lexa started exiting the building. “I hope that food is involved, though, because I haven’t eaten in a while.”

“You think I’d take you out on a date and not buy you food?” Clarke teased. “You’ve bought me food twice this week – I think I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Lexa refuted, but she didn’t argue at all. “I guess you probably haven’t eaten since lunch either, huh?”

“Yeah,” Clarke confirmed. They walked out into the cold air, and Clarke caught Lexa’s hand, using the fact that she was leading the way as an excuse to do so. But once they’d set their direction, neither of them let go of each other.

“So what are your Thanksgiving plans this week? You’re working day of, right?”

Clarke nodded. “I requested a double that day, so I’ll probably be booked until like, midnight.”

“Makes sense,” Lexa said with a nod. “Are you working on Friday?”

“Not until the afternoon most likely. Why?”

Lexa smiled a little. “Well, that’s Black Friday. So if you’re up for it, I thought maybe we could get some super late dinner after you get off, and then we be those crazy people outside some stores when they open? Or we can even scratch the last part if you want and just get dinner.”

“Hmm, well I’ll probably be like, dead, but okay, I guess,” Clarke agreed with a chuckle. “I guess I’m not opposed to getting some super discounted clothes or something that morning. I usually just wait for Cyber Monday and order a shit ton of cheap stuff on Amazon.”

“As great as that is, there’s just something so nice about fighting over super cheap stuff in person with a bunch of fellow cheapskates,” Lexa teased with a grin.

“Works for me.” Clarke smiled, squeezing Lexa’s hand a little. “I should invest in a pair of nice gloves this winter.”

“Are your hands cold?” Lexa wondered, rubbing her thumb over the back of Clarke’s hand.

“Mm, a little. But it’s okay, we don’t have to walk far.”

“Where are we walking to again?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, although a smile made its way to her face anyway. “Nice try.”

“C’mon, if we’re almost there anyway, you might as well tell me.”

“Fine,” Clarke gave in. “It’s this pizza place that I used to go to all the time – after my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, all I really did was mope and work and paint, and I pretty much had dinner at this pizza place like, every day.”

“So I’m going to eat with you at your depressing pizza place?”

“Okay it’s not depressing, though,” Clarke said with a laugh. “It’s my secret pizza place, because Octavia and Raven haven’t even been there. I stopped going there a lot when I realized how much of my money was going toward pizza, but every now and then I go there and it’s actually really homey. Plus the pizza is good as fuck.”

“Oh okay.” Lexa chuckled. “Well, I’m always down for pizza, so.”

“Good!”

They made it to the pizza place a few minutes later, and Clarke pulled the brunette into the small place excitedly. There was a short line in front of the counter, and out of the few seats that were even in the shop, only about four were open.

“Sorry it’s kind of tiny. I really like hole in the wall places like this,” Clarke admitted.

Lexa laughed. “It’s okay, doesn’t bother me.” They got in the line for the pizza and Lexa glanced up at the menu. “So far seems like pretty typical New York style pizza, but I guess I’ll judge how great it is after I actually try it.”

“I promise it’s great,” Clarke assured.

As they stood in line, Lexa looking at the menu and Clarke wondering what she should say, the blonde’s phone suddenly vibrated. She frowned, grabbing it out of her pocket and glancing at the notification. As she expected, it was none of her friends – since they were all aware of her date with Lexa – but rather it was her mom. “Who was it?” Lexa wondered casually.

“My mom,” Clarke answered with a sigh, hitting the lock button and letting the phone slide right back into her pocket. “I’ll look at it later. She asked me yesterday if I would be back in DC for Christmas, and I told her yes, so she’s probably trying to follow up and see for how long and all that jazz.”

“You and Octavia are both going down there, right?”

“Yeah. Our moms always do Christmas together, since it was always kind of just the four of us after Octavia’s dad left them with Bellamy and my dad passed away,” Clarke said. “My mom was worried that since I’m not visiting her for Thanksgiving, I would shrug off Christmas too. I never felt like my mom and I had a lot in common or that she really understood me, so I’ve drifted away from her a lot since moving out when I was eighteen. I feel kind of bad about it sometimes, because I can tell that she’s trying to keep that from happening now. So I’m trying. But it’s hard.”

Lexa nodded. “Yeah. Parental relationships can be… difficult, I guess, to navigate sometimes,” she reasoned. “So how long are you planning on being in DC?”

“Don’t know, honestly,” Clarke admitted. “I’m dependent on Octavia for a ride unless I wanna take a bus or something. So probably for however long she goes.” After a pause, she asked, “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Working, probably,” Lexa admitted. “I might meet up with Anya, Lincoln and Luna morning of, and I’ll possibly see my parents on Christmas Eve. Other than that, probably not much at all.”

They were at the counter now, and they both ordered their respective orders, Clarke passing the cashier her cash as soon as he’d gotten both of their orders. After just a brief minute, they were handed plates with two giant pieces of pizza on them each. They quickly claimed two of the available seats at one of the tiny tables in the shop.

Lexa took a bite of her pizza immediately, and nodded approvingly, chewing and swallowing it appreciatively. “Okay, yeah, it’s pretty good.”

“Told you.”

As they both ate their pizza, Lexa glanced around the room. “So this is where sad Clarke spent her lonely evening?”

Rolling her eyes with a slight chuckle, Clarke nodded. “Yes, and where happy Clarke goes to feel secure. It’s one of those things, I guess, where the fact that it never changes and it’s always just so warm and nice… just, makes me feel good.”

“I get it,” Lexa approved.

After another few moments of silence, Clarke suggested, “So… tell me something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Something, about you or that you’ve done… that I don’t already know, of course.”

Lexa hummed thoughtfully, running her fingers through her hair. “When I was sixteen, I had a crush on this girl named Amber. She played guitar, and every day after school, she would sit outside the front of the school with her guitar and play songs. Her friends would always hang out around her, and I didn’t really know her or her friends, but I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, and I like, wanted to be friends with her right? So one day after school, I walked out of the front doors and saw her there, and her friends weren’t there, and I was like, ‘this is my chance.’ I started walking down the steps to where she was, and she actually noticed, made eye contact with me, and smiled, and I got so distracted that I straight up fucked up my footing and literally tripped and basically fell down the rest of the stairs.”

Clarke couldn’t help the laughter that escaped her lips at that point, because even though it wasn’t funny, it was totally hilarious. “Oh my god, seriously?”

“It was the single most embarrassing moment of my life.”

“So what you’re telling me,” Clarke started, stifling her laughter, “is that you actually haven’t always been as smooth as you are now?”

Lexa smirked. “I don’t know about that. She actually set down her guitar and helped me up, and we both laughed about it, and then I asked if I could have her number so I could somehow figure out how to pay her back.” Clarke’s jaw dropped.

“Are you serious? Only you would be able to pull that off.”

Lexa laughed brightly. “We went out one time, and she was like, ‘You’re a lesbian, right?’ and I was like, yes, I am. And then she says, ‘So, I’m like definitely straight, but you seem really nice, so maybe we could… hang out sometime.’ And I like, kind of got what she was asking, but I asked for clarification anyway, because it was pretty disappointing, and she straight up says, ‘I’ve heard that sex with girls is a lot better, and I’ve been single for a while and could really use a good lay. So I’d be down to try it.’”

Clarke lifted an eyebrow. “Maybe she was actually questioning her sexuality. Maybe if you’d gone for it, she would’ve turned out to be bi and you could’ve had the high school girl of your dreams.” Clarke grinned playfully.

“Oh hold on, I didn’t get to the most important part. I did go for it. The next night, when my parents were out, she came over and we fooled around. Well, it would be more fair to say that I fooled around and she laid there, which was fine, but as soon as she’d gotten off, she crawled out of my bed, gave me a pleased ‘thanks,’ pulled on her pants and left. And she never made eye contact with me ever again. Though to be fair, I never tried to talk to her again either.”

“Wow, that’s quite a story.”

“You asked for something, that was something,” Lexa said with a laugh, taking another bite of her nearly finished pizza. “How about you tell me something now?”

“I feel like I need to tell an awful high school story now.”

“By all means.”

“Hmm, okay. Do you remember when we were playing Never Have I Ever at the Halloween party? Octavia made me drink for having a crush on a teacher?” Lexa nodded, lifting an eyebrow. “It was my junior year English teacher – who was a girl, and who was probably one of the first women I found myself attracted to. She was like, straight out of college, so she was probably around twenty-six and she was like, insanely attractive. But I didn’t really know that I was actually bisexual back then, I just was like, yeah she’s a great teacher and she’s nice and I like her class. But apparently I talked about her all the time, and Octavia was actually the one to tell me that I definitely had a crush on her.

“And at first I thought that was stupid, but then I realized that Octavia was probably right, so I like actively tried to stop crushing on this teacher. Not really because she was a girl, but mostly because it felt like super weird to be crushing on her and I wanted it to stop. So I stopped being as attentive in her class so that I wasn’t listening to what she said as much, but after about a week of that, she called me over to her desk at the end of one class to ask me what was up with me. And I had to squeak out some excuse or another, but I swear my heart was beating so fast that I barely even really heard what she was saying when she was talking.”

Lexa was grinning with amusement. “Aww, that’s both sad and hilarious.”

“I ended up giving up and just letting my crush be there, which actually helped. It was pretty much gone by the time I finished junior year, thankfully.” Clarke laughed at the story, shaking her head. “It was definitely an… interesting way to figure out that I liked girls.”

“I bet Octavia never let you live it down.”

“No, not really,” Clarke confirmed, chuckling.

“So Octavia was the only one who knew you were bi?”

“Octavia and my mom. My mom found out because at the end of my senior year, when I was planning moving out and all that, she got really sappy about me leaving, and so did I. We spent a whole night that was supposed to be spent packing up my room just talking, and telling each other things we hadn’t before. My mom talked a lot about my dad, and I talked some about him too. And I told her all the secret stories from high school that I’d never told her, and that one just slipped out somehow and I admitted that I was probably bisexual. She was really chill about it, though. Which was nice, since she’s not always on board with my decisions. She was able to realize that the bi thing wasn’t one of said decisions,” Clarke explained.

“I don’t mean this in a rude way of course, but why didn’t you tell anyone? You said something like because you didn’t feel the need to since it wasn’t ever like a real life factor?”

“Yeah, exactly that. It just didn’t seem important, and I didn’t want people blowing it out of proportion somehow. I mean, I know this is New York and I knew that Raven or my friends in college wouldn’t have been hateful. It just didn’t seem necessary. I only dated guys back then. But Octavia would always joke that if she was bi, we would’ve been perfect for each other. I disagree, though, because although we make great friends, I could not picture even kissing her let alone… other things.” Clarke scrunched up her nose in mild disgust.

“I cannot picture that either,” Lexa admitted.

They were both finished with their pizza at this point, and after a couple more minutes, they agreed to get up, toss their garbage and head back outside. It was even colder now, and Clarke shivered as soon as the cold air hit her hands. She pulled her coat around her even tighter, but then Lexa was slipping her arm through Clarke’s, pulling them closer together.

“It’s so cold,” Lexa mumbled, and Clarke hummed in agreement, stuffing her hands into her coat pockets.

“Sometimes I think it would be nice to spend the winter months somewhere in the south, or like a beach somewhere where it doesn’t get really cold,” Clarke said with a chuckle. “But I don’t know if I would like the heat either.”

“I’d like to spend a winter in Belize,” Lexa said thoughtfully. “I’ve heard it’s really nice there.”

“Hmm, I don’t know much about that part of the world, if I’m honest,” Clarke admitted.

Lexa nodded. They continued to trek along the sidewalk back toward Clarke’s apartment, passing a number of people who were also out and about for their Saturday night. It was quiet between them, though there were plenty of city noises around them. Clarke enjoyed this feeling of being so close to the brunette, even if they were both bundled in jackets and trying to keep warm.

When they reached Clarke’s apartment building, they quickly entered and released each other as soon as they were no longer exposed to the freezing air. It took only another minute to get back to Clarke’s studio apartment, and once inside, the blonde let out a sigh of relief and began shrugging off her coat.

“Trying to take off your clothes in record time?” Lexa asked with a smirk, and Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Just trying not to melt. Would be pretty bad timing.”

“That’s fair.” Lexa chuckled, pulling her own coat off her body. She excused herself to the bathroom for a moment after slipping off her shoes, and Clarke set her coat down on the counter in the kitchen, slid off her own shoes, and then washed her hands in the kitchen sink. When Lexa reemerged from the bathroom, she glanced around the apartment, even though she’d been there before, and her gaze landed on the pile of artwork in the corner of the room. “What are you working on right now?”

“It’s behind the curtain,” Clarke said, moving further into her kitchen as Lexa gently pushed the curtain aside and walked into Clarke’s sleeping area. She’d made her bed and tried to clean the area as best as she could earlier. 

“It looks really nice,” Lexa said, sounding more impressed than the statement itself would be interpreted. “I envy you. I wish I could do something like this.”

Clarke blushed, even though Lexa couldn’t see her. “Thank you.” She opened her fridge. “Do you want a beer? I realized that I have like five left in here and I need them gone.”

“No, thanks though,” Lexa said, walking back into the main room. “I’m sure Octavia will take them?”

“Probably,” the blonde agreed, glancing through her nearly empty fridge to see if there was anything else in it worth drinking. She ended up grabbing a bottle of water out and then taking two plastic cups out of one of the cabinets. Her kitchen didn’t get much use, if she was honest, but that didn’t mean it was totally useless.

She poured the water between the two glasses and offered one to Lexa, who was over by the counter now. The brunette accepted it gratefully and took a long sip. After setting it back down, she said, “You know, I kind of like your apartment. It’s small, sure, but I feel like it’s easy to like, make it your own.”

Clarke shrugged. “I guess that’s true. I’m not here a lot anyway, though.”

“Well see, then you don’t really need a shit ton of space anyway, right?”

“Yeah, the only thing I really need more space for is my art.”

Lexa nodded slowly, and Clarke felt herself getting nervous. Her thoughts went to the beer in her fridge, but she immediately refocused her attention on the brunette causing her nerves. Lexa glanced up at the same time, making eye contact with Clarke. “What?” Lexa asked softly.

“You make me nervous,” Clarke admitted quietly, leaning backwards against the counter slightly.

“I do?”

Clarke nodded, watching carefully as Lexa moved around the counter so that she was now a clear path away from the blonde.

“Why, or… how?”

“Because… I’m scared of messing up and I… I don’t know, you’re just so… you,” Clarke murmured as Lexa came even closer. Suddenly, the brunette pressed her palms on the counter on either side of Clarke, causing the blonde to exhale shakily and press herself into the counter. “I’m not really… used to people making me nervous.”

Lexa took a tiny step forward, her front now somewhat touching Clarke’s, and their faces were so close. “Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” Clarke’s eyes were bouncing back and forth between Lexa’s, until finally the brunette closed the distance between their lips with a kiss, and blue and green eyes alike fluttered closed. Clarke felt herself melt into the kiss almost, her left hand going to Lexa’s waist, snaking around slightly to her back and pulling the brunette all the way against her. Lexa countered by grabbing Clarke’s hand off of her and pressing it to the counter, effectively pinning her against it.

Lexa’s tongue intertwined with Clarke’s, controlling the kiss fully and without fear. Clarke was happy to let her do so – the pulsing in between her thighs was just expectantly waiting for something more.

And when it got to the point that her center was aching to be touched, the blonde abruptly pushed off from the counter, her hands going to Lexa’s waist as she took over the kiss and caused them to stumble toward Clarke’s bed all of the sudden. “Clarke,” Lexa murmured against the blonde’s lips, causing the woman to stop for a moment and pull her lips away slightly. Their heavy breathing was the only sound in the room for a moment, until Lexa mumbled, “We can stop, if you want to.”

“Do you want to stop?” Clarke asked softly.

“No.”

“Well good, because neither do I.” She brought their lips back together and took another step forward, keeping a grip on Lexa’s waist to see to it that she didn’t fall backwards. Lexa hummed against the blonde’s lips, her hand rising to tangle into her loose hair as she was backed toward the bed.

She accidentally backed the brunette into the curtain, and upon realizing it, they pulled apart for a moment to push past it, and Clarke let out a low chuckle. Lexa just rolled her eyes and pulled Clarke’s face back to hers. The blonde successfully led Lexa to her bed, pushing her down onto it and climbing on top of her in a swift motion. Lexa let her top her for only a matter of seconds before forcing herself upwards and flipping them expertly. Clarke was surprised by the ease Lexa had with this task, although she wasn’t sure if she should’ve been surprised or not.

“Fuck,” Clarke let out in surprise, and Lexa chuckled quietly above her. The blonde groaned, pulling Lexa’s lips down to meet hers again, and the other woman complied easily. As Lexa kissed her senseless, Clarke’s hands found the hem of her own top and began sliding it up her body. Lexa noticed after a moment, breaking their lip lock to help remove the article of clothing from her body. Clarke shivered slightly as cool air met her bare skin, the sensation was quickly forgotten as Lexa took over her lips once again.

Clarke’s head pressed into the pillow of her bed, which were covered by the blanket atop her sheets, she tried to figure out how to get back on top of the brunette. Her hands found Lexa’s waist, gripping slightly, and then she began to copy Lexa’s movements from earlier, forcing herself upwards. Somehow, Lexa anticipated these movements, and she pressed down on Clarke, her legs shifting so that each one was pressed against Clarke’s thighs, effectively pinning the blonde to the bed. Clarke let out a mixture of a gasp and a moan, heat pooling between her thighs. “Oh no you don’t,” Lexa muttered hotly against her lips.

Clarke whimpered, desperately needing Lexa to touch her at this point. “Lexa,” Clarke whined.

Lexa pulled her lips fully away from Clarke’s now, her right hand gently stroking the side of Clarke’s body as it moved lower. “Hmm?”

“I want you to touch me, please,” Clarke pleaded, her darkened eyes opening to meet Lexa’s forest green ones. Her pupils were also blown.

“Hmm, since you asked so nicely…” Lexa’s hand traced the top of Clarke’s pants, slowly reaching the button in the center. Clarke whimpered again, and Lexa quickly undid the button and the zipper. Lexa slid her hand into Clarke’s pants, and the latter woman thrusted her hips up slightly, anticipating the feeling. Finally, Lexa’s fingers came into contact with Clarke’s throbbing center, and the blonde gasped. “Better?”

Her fingers sat unmoving and Clarke groaned. “Uh, no,” she huffed. “Lexa, don’t tease me.”

“Why not?” Lexa murmured, pressing fluttery kisses to Clarke’s jawline and neck now. Her fingers began to slip through Clarke’s wetness curiously. “Mm, you’re wet. Feeling horny, huh?”

“You already knew I would be wet for you,” Clarke moaned, wanting to press her thighs together to help give herself some friction, but Lexa’s legs were still pinning them down. “And yes I’m fucking horny.”

“So what do you want me to do about it?” Lexa’s fingers were teasing around Clarke’s clit and her entrance, and it was completely driving the blonde crazy.

“I want you to fuck me, Lexa,” Clarke growled, her hips thrusting up again.

“Mm, in that case…” Lexa’s voice trailed off as she attached her lips to Clarke’s pulse point, and suddenly her fingers slid inside the blonde, her thumb simultaneously meeting her clit. It was so much sensation all at once, and Clarke let out a loud gasp. “Does that feel better?”

“Yes, oh fuck, Lexa please don’t stop,” Clarke pleaded, her left hand gripping the blanket on either side of her. For a split second it registered that she was going to have to wash her blanket tomorrow as well as her sheets, but then the thought was gone and she was back to only thinking about the feeling of Lexa’s fingers inside her. “Hoy fuck, Lexa!”

“How close are you?” Lexa whispered hotly against her skin.

“So close already, fuck, L-Lexa,” Clarke whimpered, throwing her head back slightly into the pillows and digging her fingers into the blanket next to her. Her right hand was tangled into Lexa’s hair but she didn’t remember putting it there. Her thoughts were becoming jumbled now, and though she heard Lexa whisper something else, she didn’t know what it was and she didn’t reply with anything other than her gasps and moans. A few more expletives must’ve escaped her lips as she was brought to climax, but it was all a hot blur until her intense orgasm tore through her body and caused her to practically shout out Lexa’s name before her body was able to relax into her bed. “Oh my god.”

“Good?” Lexa murmured softly, so sweet and gentle despite what had just occurred. “I didn’t hurt you?”

“Not at all,” Clarke promised between heavy breaths. “Fuck, Lexa, that was… so good.”

Lexa gently pulled her fingers out from between Clarke’s legs. “I’m not going to lie, I’ve wanted to do that to you for… a long time.”

“Yeah?” Clarke murmured, feeling tired but not wanting to sleep yet. She wanted to do her best to fuck Lexa just as well as the brunette had just fucked her, but she felt so tired. This was somewhat new to her – she usually wasn’t this spent after getting an orgasm. That said, she had rarely gotten orgasms from sex with guys anyway, and when she had, they’d been nothing in comparison to what her body had just felt.

“You have no idea. The first time I saw you, if I hadn’t been working, I wouldn’t have been able to take my eyes off of you. You’re so beautiful,” Lexa murmured. Clarke felt her face turn red, and she carefully shifted slightly on her side, realizing that Lexa was no longer on top of her, but instead lying next to her.

“You’re beautiful,” Clarke muttered back as though it were an insult rather than a compliment. Lexa just laughed.

“Thanks.”

Clarke shifted again slightly, realizing how uncomfortable her pants were all of the sudden. Huffing quietly, she grabbed the waistband of them and pushed them down, effectively wiggling out of the clothing and tossing it aside. Lexa watched with amusement.

“Comfier now?”

“Mm.” Clarke met Lexa’s gaze, staring into it for a moment before propping herself up in order to begin pulling the blanket off of her bed. “Get in.”

“I’m still dressed,” Lexa said, glancing at the pillows.

“We can take care of that.” Lexa’s gaze jumped back to Clarke’s instantly, the blonde had now slipped under the blanket herself, and Lexa followed suit, but the blanket wasn’t what then topped her, instead it was Clarke. “You have to bottom at some point.”

“Do you hear me complaining?” Lexa said breathlessly. Clarke grabbed the hem of the brunette’s shirt, and Lexa eagerly helped her remove both her shirt and her pants in record time. Then, as Clarke joined their lips, she felt Lexa’s hands sliding along the band and clasp of Clarke’s bra, fiddling with the little hooks for a moment as if waiting for Clarke’s permission.

Clarke pulled back for a breath, her lips hovering over Lexa’s as she instructed, “Take it off.” Lexa obeyed, unclasping Clarke’s bra and tugging it off of the blonde entirely before tossing it away needlessly.

“Take mine off,” Lexa requested, then lifting up off of the pillow slightly to grab Clarke’s lips with her own. Clarke reached under Lexa on the bed, finding the clasp for her bra and unhooking it after just a moment of struggle. The brunette then freed herself from the straps of the undergarment and it disappeared into the abyss where the rest of their clothing had so far gone. Their hands began to roam each other’s mostly bare bodies, and at some point, Clarke slid off her underwear, completely exposing herself, and Lexa did the same.

And as Clarke felt the soft curves of the beautiful woman beneath her, she realized that this should feel somewhat foreign – strange, new, maybe even terrifying – but it didn’t. It felt so normal, being like this with Lexa, and it felt so good. She wanted to be naked in a bed with Lexa for hours, and she supposed that she might be lucky enough to achieve that even tonight.

It was when Lexa began squirming and breathing heavier that Clarke decided to slide her hand toward the other woman’s center. Lexa talked less as the bottom than she had at the top, but it didn’t bother Clarke one way or the other. All that mattered were the sounds of pleasure, the occasional “please” or “Clarke” that escaped Lexa’s lips, and how wet Lexa was. God, she was wet, and that made Clarke wet.

It took longer for Clarke to make Lexa come than it had the other way around, but she was confident that would be able to do it, and she was correct. Few things had made Clarke feel as elated as watching Lexa collapse somewhat beneath her, her skin shining with a bit of sweat and her breathing heavy, knowing that she was the one who had caused that. But there was no sweet moment after that, because as soon as Lexa let her eyes fall open, she was reversing their positions, pressing Clarke into the pillows, and sliding her hand back in between Clarke’s leg faster than Clarke could hardly register that it was happening.

She was a bit more gentle now, probably knowing that Clarke was more sensitive now, but that didn’t stop Clarke from coming two more times before she was officially exhausted, and Lexa pulled her fingers free, wiping them on the sheets. Clarke was absolutely breathless, but she let her gaze follow Lexa as the brunette stretched out next to her on the bed. “Sorry.”

“What for?” Clarke breathed out incredulously.

Lexa hummed. “For getting back on top of you. I just really like making you come.”

“Well I’m not complaining,” Clarke said with a chuckle. “Fuck, I’ve never been this tired after sex, or… hungry.”

Lexa laughed brightly. “And to think that you were teasing me about whether or not I’d be good at sex less than a week ago.”

“I did no such thing,” Clarke denied, pulling the blanket on her bed up and over the two of them.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” Lexa smiled. “Do you have anything to snack on?”

“Probably not,” Clarke murmured. “Plus, we just ate.”

Lexa laughed again and Clarke mumbled something unintelligible. “Okay, beautiful, why don’t you go to sleep then?”

“Mkay,” Clarke agreed, burying her face into her pillow. After a moment, she peeked out again and looked at the brunette. “You’re not going to leave, are you?”

“No,” Lexa promised, lifting her hand and pushing some of Clarke’s hair out of her face. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay.”

Clarke nodded thankfully, already drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty lovelies! I hope you liked this chapter!! :D Probably about 6 left, I just have a few more to write and then I'll be done, so fingers crossed I can finish before Saturday!!
> 
> Have a great day/night!! xx


	15. Ready For It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa take another step forward in their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> I'm home for Thanksgiving this week! :D I'll be back at my dorm again for next Sunday's update, though :P
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

When Clarke peeled her eyes open, it was still night time. At least, she was pretty sure it was. The lights were off now, though, unlike how they’d been when she’d fallen asleep. However, something was different – Lexa wasn’t in bed with her. She frowned, sitting up and glancing around her apartment. The curtains were drawn, so she had no glimpse into the rest of the room. Sighing, she began glancing around for where her phone ended up, and she realized that it was probably in her coat pocket in the kitchen.

Climbing out of her bed, she rubbed her hand over her face tiredly and stumbled to her dresser. Somehow, she managed to find her robe, and she pulled it over her bare body. When she pushed open the curtain, she confirmed that it was late at night, because no light flooded in through the windows other than a few bright city lights.

There, sitting at one of the bar stools by Clarke’s kitchen counter, was Lexa, wearing her top from the night before and typing something on her phone. Upon hearing the curtain open, the brunette looked up curiously. “Oh, hey,” she greeted softly. “Did I wake you up?”

“Dunno, I just woke up,” Clarke answered. “What time is it?”

“It’s about one. I slept a while and woke up really hungry, so I ordered pizza,” Lexa admitted somewhat sheepishly. “The pizza guy just brought it up like, a few minutes ago, so maybe that woke you up.”

“Didn’t hear it,” Clarke said, shrugging as she crossed the room and sat next to Lexa. She spotted her coat about a foot away, and she reached over to retrieve her phone from its pocket. She had a bunch of missed messages – no surprise there.

“You want some?” Lexa asked, nodding to the pizza box in front of her.

“Please.”

Lexa opened the box, pushing it toward the blonde. “Pizza twice in one night. We’re obviously the healthiest adults.”

“Yes, if you didn’t know, I’m the best at being an adult,” Clarke stated matter-of-factly, eliciting a laugh from the brunette. She grabbed a slice of the pizza and took a bite as she checked her text messages.

**Octavia – Hope you get laid tonight! Text me when your date’s over ;)**

**Octavia – If it doesn’t end until the morning I expect a phone call :)**

**Octavia – But oh you have work in the morning shit**

**Octavia – I expect a phone call after you work tomorrow**

**Octavia – Okay I’ll leave you alone I promise that once you lose your girl on girl virginity with Lexa I will no longer spam you during every date with you**

**Octavia – Have funnnn ;)**

Clarke smirked at the messages, leaving the thread to go check her other message. It was from her mom.

**Mom – Can you call me tomorrow please? I’d like to catch up with you :)**

Now she sighed, setting her phone on the counter face down.

“You okay?” Lexa asked softly.

“Yeah,” Clarke replied, “have to call my mom later. She wants to talk to me and I can’t keep avoiding her.”

“Ah. I get it.” They were silent for a moment, Clarke eating her pizza and Lexa looking down at her phone, but then the brunette set the device down, pulling her legs up and crossing them. Clarke realized now that she was wearing only her top from their date and underwear, but she kept her eyes from lingering at the woman’s exposed thighs. “Are you okay, though? Like, was earlier okay?”

“It was better than okay,” Clarke promised, finished with her slice of pizza by now. “Thank you for staying.”

Lexa looked at her kind of funny, but then she just smiled. “I wasn’t going to leave unless you asked me too, anyway. I like you a lot more than that.”

Clarke blushed now, unable to not smile. “Well, thank you anyway.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

Clarke nodded.

“What… are we? What do you want us to be?”

Clarke blinked, not having expected this particular question at all. If she was honest, she had  very clear answer to this, but she was scared for some reason that Lexa’s answer would differ. “I really like you.”

“Is there a but coming?” Lexa asked with a light laugh.

“No,” Clarke answered shyly. “Well, I don’t think I could date anyone at the same time as dating you even if I tried. I like you too much.”

Lexa grinned. “Good. Same. So… you wanna be my girlfriend then?”

The question came so casually, and this was extremely refreshing considering the over thinking that Clarke tended to do about all of this. Still, the word girlfriend caused her heart rate to pick up, and she felt her cheeks redden. “Yeah, I kinda do.”

“Great, good to know,” Lexa breathed out, before laughing brightly. “You’re pretty when you sleep, by the way.”

“Creep, you watched me while I was sleeping?” Clarke lifted an eyebrow, her lips turning into a smirk at the same time.

Lexa rolled her eyes playfully. “Obviously. What else was I supposed to do?”

“Sleep, like a normal person.”

“I did, after I watched you.” Lexa winked at the blonde, who just laughed and shook her head.

“With that in mind, I’m going to go to the bathroom – don’t be a creep and follow me in there.”

Lexa wiggled her eyebrows at the blonde, who rolled her eyes and headed to the bathroom. Upon locking the door, she glanced at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, understandably, but it wasn’t too bad. Her makeup was smudged, most of it probably on her pillowcase at this point. She ran her fingers through her hair a few times before quickly peeing and then washing her hands. She then dragged her wet hands over her face a few times, scrubbing the remaining makeup off of her face. Lastly, she brushed her teeth, washed and dried her hands a last time, and then she finally left the bathroom.

The remaining pizza had disappeared from the counter, and Clarke assumed that the brunette had put it in the fridge. But Lexa wasn’t at the counter anymore either. Clarke glanced around her small apartment and started toward her curtained off sleeping area. She carefully pulled away the curtain, immediately seeing Lexa sitting on Clarke’s bed, her legs halfway under the covers.

It took Lexa a moment to notice that Clarke was back, but during that time, Clarke reveled in this – Lexa, half naked in her bed, looking comfortable and content. She wanted that all of the time.

When Lexa noticed Clarke, she smiled, setting her phone aside. “Sorry, I wanted to get back into your bed. It’s comfy.”

“Oh no, don’t apologize. I like seeing you in my bed,” Clarke promised, going to the other side of the bed and lowering herself onto it.

“Feel like sleeping again?”

Clarke shrugged. “Not really tired anymore, actually.”

“Neither am I… what should we do instead of sleeping then?” Lexa smirked a little, lifting an eyebrow at the blonde, who pretended to think for a moment, playing along.

“I wonder what sort of things we could do in this bed until we’re too worn out to stay awake…” Clarke murmured, lifting herself and rotating so that she was sitting across Lexa’s lap. “You know, actually, I think I know a few things…”

She brought their lips together in a hot and fast kiss, and Clarke felt herself melt against Lexa. It was that feeling that made it easy for Lexa to gently grip Clarke’s thighs and abruptly swap their positions, Clarke suddenly laying against her pillow and Lexa hovering above her. “So can I.”

* * *

Clarke woke up surprisingly early considering the previous night. She’d accidentally left the curtain open slightly, so some light was trickling into the space. Clarke was immediately worried about the time, and she sat up quickly, glancing around for her phone. Rolling her eyes at herself, she realized that once again, she’d left it out in her kitchen. As she began to get out of bed, the figure lying next to her shifted slightly, and Clarke’s gaze fell onto the beautiful brunette, completely naked and only half covered by the blanket, which had nearly been thrown completely off the bed at some point.

Smiling, the blonde carefully got out of her bed and trekked into her kitchen, grabbing her phone. She was pleased to see that she had plenty of time to get ready and leave for work, but she didn’t want to wake up Lexa. Deciding that she would wait for the brunette to wake up on her own, Clarke went into the bathroom to shower and start getting ready to leave for work.

By the time Clarke was showered and dressed, her face made up and her hair straightened, Lexa was still not yet awake.

“Lexa,” Clarke said softly, approaching the bed. She sat down on the mattress next to Lexa, touching the woman’s arm softly. “Hey, Lexa.”

Lexa stirred slightly now, her eyes peeling open slowly. “Mm? Clarke?”

“Good morning.” Clarke had to fight a giggle at how cute Lexa was, looking sleepy and confused. “I have to go to work.”

“Oh, shit,” Lexa mumbled, bringing her hands up to rub her tired eyes. “Right now?”

“Yeah, but don’t rush. I’ll leave my key here and you can just lock up before you leave. You work tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Great, then I’ll come get it from you before I head home today, cool?”

Lexa nodded tiredly. She was grabbing for more blankets, and the sight actually made Clarke chuckle now. She stood up, helping the brunette get more covered by blankets. Lexa forced her eyes open again, smiling at the blonde. “Thanks.”

“I’ll see you later.”

Lexa nodded, burying her face into Clarke’s pillow. Laughing again, the blonde stepped out of the curtained off area and closed the curtains completely. She then took her apartment key out of her bag and set it on the kitchen counter, before finally leaving for work.

* * *

Clarke was in the break room alone at work for lunch, because even though Lincoln had brought little sandwiches for them all to split, some important errand had come up and Clarke had been left to watch the place during the lunch period. Anya at the very least was supposed to be back by the end of break. But for now, Clarke was alone.

She decided to use this opportunity to call her best friend, and Octavia answered that call in about two seconds flat.

“Clarke!” Octavia exclaimed happily. “Tell me how it went! I’ve been waiting for your call all morning!”

“You said yourself that I could call you after work today,” Clarke reminded the brunette, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah well, I was still waiting. So how was it?”

“The date was awesome, it was really just dinner, though.”

“Where at?”

“A pizza place a couple blocks away from my place,” Clarke answered. “You haven’t been there.”

“Okay… so, dinner at a pizza place… then what? Did you guys fuck or not?”

“Maybe…”

“That’s a yes right? You finally lost your girl on girl virginity?”

“Yes, Octavia.”

An overdramatized gasp could be heard from the other end of the phone. “Oh my gosh! This is groundbreaking information! My best friend is no longer pure!”

“Ha, you couldn’t be more funny if you tried,” Clarke said sarcastically.

“Was it good?”

“Obviously.”

“Who was the top?”

“Not telling.”

“That means it was Lexa.”

“How would you figure that?”

Octavia snickered. “You’re too proud to not admit it if you were the top.”

“Am not!”

“Yeah, you are. Which means that Lexa was the top because you’re too shy to admit that you were the bottom.”

Clarke huffed, pouting even though her best friend couldn’t see her. “Maybe I’m verse.”

“Maybe, but someone had to be the top more often.”

“That’s not true.”

“Empirical evidence, Clarke.”

“You’re being dumb.”

“Just admit that you were the bottom for most of the time.”

“Okay fine, now leave me alone about it, okay?” Clarke muttered.

Octavia let out a bright laugh. “Alright, C. Well, I was on a call with my mom when you called, so I’m gonna have to let you go.”

“You interrupted a call with your mom to answer my call just to find out if I had sex with Lexa or not?”

“Best friend duties of course!”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I need to call my mom too. See you later, O.”

The call ended, and Clarke decided that she might as well call her mom now. It would give her an excuse to end the call earlier, since she was just on break at work. Quickly finding her mom’s contact on her phone, she hit the call button to get it over with.

Her mom answered in record time as well. “Clarke! Hey!”

“Hey, mom,” Clarke answered with a small smile. “How are you?”

“I’m doing pretty well, actually. Work is going well, and it actually looks like I could potentially get promoted to head doctor of general surgery. Which would be incredible for my career and also my paycheck.”

Abby sounded happier than normal as she talked about this, which was definitely fair. Briefly, Clarke wondered what her life would be like if she was following the same career path as her mom. But she immediately shook that thought away in order to answer, “Oh wow, that’s awesome! I really hope you get it. You deserve it, you work a lot.”

“You’re not wrong there. How are things with you, sweetie?”

“Pretty good actually,” Clarke admitted quietly. “I’ve been working a lot, and it’s looking like I can maybe get a car sometime in spring.”

“Well that’s good. Then you could maybe come visit me more often, huh?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Well, I work seven days a week, so I don’t know about that.”

“A mother can hope.”

As silence came over the conversation for a moment, Clarke debated whether or not to tell her mom about Lexa, but then she decided it couldn’t really do any harm. Why shouldn’t her mom know about her? “Hey mom, there’s something else.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m dating someone – a girl named Lexa. I met her a few months ago,” Clarke admitted. “I’ve liked her a while, and we just started dating recently.”

“Well that’s great, honey. Are you guys getting serious?”

“It hasn’t been that long, but… I think we both want it to be serious, and we’re definitely exclusive. I really like her.”

“What’s she do?”

Clarke frowned, knowing that this would be where her mom would get hung up. “She’s a bartender, but she has a psychology degree.”

“Hm. Interesting,” Abby said thoughtfully. Clarke lifted an eyebrow, waiting for the note of disapproval, but it didn’t come. That was weird. “Well, is she having Christmas with her family?”

Blinking in surprise, the blonde answered, “Oh, no she’s not. She said she’s probably going to end up working on Christmas.”

“What? No, you have to invite her down to have Christmas with us. I’d love to meet her,” Abby insisted.

“I don’t know if we’re that serious yet…”

“Well… alright. But of course, if she’d like to, I’d love to host the both of you.”

Clarke nodded slowly, remembering only after a few seconds that her mom couldn’t see her. “Okay, yeah. Thanks, mom.”

“Of course.”

“I actually am on break right now at work, so I’m gonna have to let you go…”

“Of course. I love you, Clarke.”

“Love you too, mom.”

The call ended, and Clarke lowered her phone into her lap, knitting her eyebrows. Her mom had been more supportive that she’d anticipated, and she didn’t exactly know what to make of it.

But she’d have to consider it later, because for now, she needed to stuff her face with a couple of those little sandwiches before Anya got back to put her to work.

* * *

Clarke pushed open the door to the bar, sighing happily at the warmth from inside. The bar was surprisingly empty for the evening time, even for Sundays. A few stray customers were sitting around, sipping their beers, and a certain bartender was standing at the counter, wiping it down. She looked up at the sound of the door though, and a smile reached her lips when she saw the blonde.

“Hmm, fancy seeing you here.”

Clarke approached the bar. “Short term memory loss or what?”

“Oh right,” Lexa played along, lifting an eyebrow, “there was something you needed from me…” She laughed lightly now, reaching into her pants pocket and producing a key. “Glad to know that you only come to see me when you need something from me.”

It was a joke, obviously, but Clarke still replied with a smirk and, “If didn’t want to see you, I would’ve called Octavia.”

“Aw, how sweet,” Lexa said, batting her eyelashes playfully. “But speaking of, your crazy best friend came in here earlier demanding that you call her once you’re off. I told her you were coming here, so she might show up soon.”

“Oh boy, that should be exciting,” Clarke said, chuckling. “I called her earlier while I was on my lunch break, but we couldn’t talk long because we both had parental conversations to get to.”

“Oh that sounds like a fun time,” Lexa commented, leaning forward against the counter slightly. “Good conversation or?”

“It was surprisingly positive, actually. We caught up on some things. She wasn’t an asshole at all and she’s excited for me to come down for Christmas,” Clarke said with a slow nod, remembering now her conversation with her mom in regards to Lexa.

“You sure it was all good? You sound put off.”

“No it was good,” Clarke promised. Trying to change the topic, she sat down on one of the bar stools and smiled at the brunette. “How was your morning, huh?”

“Lazy,” Lexa admitted. “I took forever to get out of bed, mostly because it was comfy and smelled like you. When I finally did, I was super hungry and you don’t really have any food, and I figured my body would thank me if I ate something other than pizza, so I left.”

“Yeah, I should probably at some point make an effort to fill up my fridge.”

The door to the bar swung open, and a certain other brunette walked in excitedly. “Hey, C! Hey Lexa! How are my favorite non-heteros today?”

“Better before you got here,” Clarke teased, lifting her eyebrows at her best friend.

Octavia pouted. “Uh, rude. How about you Lex? If you answer right, you might move into my favorite non-hetero spot.”

Lexa smirked. “Hmm, I think I’m going to abstain from answering this question.”

“Wow, I just feel so loved,” Octavia huffed out, but then she chuckled and shook her head. “Hey, C, wanna get dinner with me?”

“Are you paying?”

“I think you can afford for us to split.”

Clarke huffed. “Then no.”

“Okay, then you can just starve?”

Lexa rolled her eyes at the two of them. “I’ll never understand your guys’ friendship.”

“C’mon, C,” Octavia said, grabbing the blonde’s arm and tugging childishly. “I wanna eat.”

Clarke looked at Lexa somewhat sadly, and the brunette laughed. “Go get dinner with her before she has a tantrum. I’m working anyway.”

“Fine,” Clarke muttered, and Octavia grinned.

“Thanks, Lex! I owe you one!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have a lovely one this week. Otherwise, I hope you all have a great week anyway!  
> Thank you for reading, I'll see you all next week. xx


	16. One Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving with Clexa!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! (It's technically Black Friday now bc I forgot to post this yesterday buttttt) I'm so thankful for all of you <3 Also I'm posting this from my phone, so I apologize for any weird formatting. I'll fix it this weekend after I fly home tomorrow!!
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** “How was talking to your mom?” Octavia wondered, twirling her fork through her pasta and Clarke swallowed a bite of her own meal.

“Surprisingly good actually. She sounds pretty happy – I guess she might be getting a really important promotion. And she was supportive when I told her about Lexa,” Clarke admitted.

Octavia looked surprised by this, quickly chewing and swallowing her food to ask, “Wait, you told her about Lexa?”

“Yeah?”

“Already?”

Clarke realized now that she hadn’t told Octavia her latest development in regards to her relationship with Lexa – aside from the sex, of course, something else had happened the night before. “Lexa asked me to be her girlfriend yesterday. Last night, after we… yeah.”

“Wait, seriously? Oh my gosh, that’s so great! I’m so happy for you, Clarke.”

The blonde smiled. “Thank you. It was surprisingly casual… I don’t know, I think I forgot that even though yeah, it’s kind of a big deal, it doesn’t have to feel super heavy or anything. It might also just be that this is the first relationship I’ve been in where I’m not going into it feeling like I need to change anything or some shit like that.”

“That’s great. So your mom was all good with that then?”

“Yeah, probably mostly since she knows that I’m also getting myself together job wise and everything. Told her I’ll be getting a car probably next spring.”

“Hell yeah you will.”

“The only other thing… well… she said I should invite Lexa to Christmas. Earlier in the week I asked her what her plans were and she said she’d probably see her parents on Christmas Eve and then work on Christmas.”

“Oh perfect, so ask her if she wants to come down with us,” Octavia suggested with a shrug.

“Uh, but just because she’s not doing some big plan for Christmas, it doesn’t mean that she’d want to come meet my mom and shit.”

“It’s Lexa we’re talking about, C. She’ll gladly come if you ask her. And even if I’m wrong and she wouldn’t want to come, what’s the harm in asking? It’s not like you guys just met either. You’re dating,  _ and _ you were really close friends for like two months before that anyway. Just tell her it’s an option that’s there for her if she wants to take it.”

Clarke nodded slowly. “I guess you’re not wrong…”

“Obviously. I’m a journalist, remember? I  _ always _ speak the truth.”

Snickering, the blonde lifted an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“Duh. Which brings me to what I kind of dragged you out here to talk about,” Octavia said, her voice slowing down slowly.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, so… I kind of started seeing someone.”

Clarke’s eyes practically bugged out of their sockets. “What? Since when? Who is he?”

“Since like, Tuesday really. Well, I’ve been talking to him since I got this job – he works in the same building but on a different floor. I’ve seen him around, and we both go to the café next to the building for lunch a lot of the time. He was really sweet and we traded numbers a couple of weeks ago, but I didn’t expect it to go anywhere. On Monday night he called me and asked if I wanted to grab dinner with him on Tuesday, and I figured there wasn’t any harm. We went out yesterday too, just to a movie because he  _ apparently _ had an extra ticket to something he wanted to see…”

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. “Why didn’t I already know this?”

“I wanted to tell you, and I was going to tell you, but things were just…  _ happening _ I guess. Like the shit with you and Raven – I talked to Raven on Monday and then I just… I don’t know, I was stressing about you guys and I actually talked to Nick about it and he reassured me that it would be fine. And… I don’t know, I guess I felt like you’ve just been wrapped up in your own stuff and I didn’t want to bother you with my stuff.” Octavia’s voice trailed off somewhat, and Clarke frowned.

“C’mon, O, you know that this best friendship goes both ways. I could never not have time or attention to dedicate to what’s going on in your life,” Clarke insisted. “Okay?” Octavia nodded.

“I know, I’m sorry. But last night I knew I needed to tell you, because… I don’t know, I actually _ really _ like him. You’d like him too. I figured maybe we can have some sort of friend hangout sometime soon and invite him.”

“Yeah, of course,” Clarke agreed. “I want to meet him soon anyway. Gotta make sure whoever you’re interested in is worthy of  _ my _ best friend.”

Octavia laughed, rolling her eyes. “Sure, C, whatever you say.”

* * *

The week following that weekend went by agonizingly slow. On one hand, Clarke spent pretty much all of her free time texting or calling Lexa, at least when the brunette herself wasn’t busy, but it wasn’t enough even to just talk over the phone. Clarke wanted to actually hang out with Lexa in person, and she felt so clingy, which was a new feeling. Never before had Clarke been so drawn to someone. That said, she was trying not to seem clingy, because she didn’t want to be  _ that _ person. Thankfully, Lexa always seemed to want to talk to Clarke as well, and that made it significantly better.

On Thanksgiving Thursday, Clarke knew that she should be dreading the day to come since she would be working a double, but she found herself actually feeling somewhat excited. Not for work, of course, but for what would come after work. She and Lexa had decided to meet at a particular twenty-four seven café in between their respective places of work. Lexa was taking the subway to the bar that day, not wanting to have to worry about driving or parking and all of that during Black Friday. So they would meet at the café, get some much needed food, and then figure out their plan for the rest of the night and early morning.

Clarke wasn’t sure if she should expect the restaurant to be busier Thanksgiving morning or Thanksgiving night, but the truth was that both were about the usual business. Sure, lots of people stayed in on Thanksgiving night, but not everyone cared to celebrate or had anyone to celebrate with, and a number of people decided that cooking or ordering in wasn’t going to do for them. Thankfully, the steady stream of customers kept Clarke from getting utterly bored at work, and the hours kind of flew by.

When she finally got off, it was just after midnight, and her body was stiff and tired, and her mind was a little foggy too, but the instant she thought of seeing Lexa, she perked up. Her normal route home would involve walking toward the subway, but instead she started the trek to the café. It wasn’t the longest walk ever, and it went by pretty quickly since Clarke was moving quickly in an effort to fight the cold anyway.

When she got there, she was slightly surprised to see that Lexa was not yet there. She wasn’t supposed to be working the latest shift at the bar, so Clarke had actually expected the brunette to be there before her. Shrugging it off, Clarke ordered a coffee and a sandwich and then sat down in one of the little tables in the back of the café. She then grabbed her phone to check if she had any missed messages from Lexa.

**Lexa – Sorry, just left the bar, the person who was supposed to work the late shift was late. On my way!**

That had been sent about ten minutes prior, so it made sense that the brunette was not yet here. So Clarke just stuffed her cold hands into her pockets to warm up as she waited for her coffee, food and girlfriend.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, just after Clarke got her order, Lexa entered the café looking slightly frazzled. She immediately noticed Clarke and her lips broke into a smile, but then she went to the counter to order food. After she’d forked over the money, she finally came to join Clarke at the table.

“Sorry, have you been here long?”

“No, just a few minutes, I got off at midnight,” Clarke answered, sipping her coffee. “Trying to load up on caffeine, because that’ll be the only way I’ll make it through tonight.”

Lexa frowned. “If you’re too tired, we don’t have to –“

“No, no, it’s fine,” Clarke insisted. “I like sales, and I could use some new winter clothes.”

“Alright, as long as you’re sure.”

“How was work, aside from that person being late?”

“Oh, eh. Busy. Lots of sad, lonely people wanted to get drunk on Thanksgiving. I had to cut two people off because they were getting really riled up. It’s the worst part about Holidays. Christmas is worse. To be honest, I’d take that night off, but I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t working.”

Clarke blinked, remembering her conversation with her mom. “Hey, about that, actually…”

“What? Christmas?”

Clarke nodded, understanding Lexa’s slight confusion. “I was talking to my mom on Sunday… about the holidays, and ah, about you, and she said that – well, if you want to – you’d be welcome to have Christmas with us.”

Lexa actually looked surprised, and for a moment, Clarke thought that said surprise correlated with disinterest, but then the brunette’s eyes smiled. “Really?”

“No, I’m lying,” Clarke deadpanned, although her expression was obviously playful. “Yes, really. I’m road tripping with Octavia, so if you want to come… you can carpool with us or drive yourself, or whatever.”

“I’d love to come,” Lexa said brightly. “Probably I’ll drive myself, in case I need to come back sooner than Octavia wants to. And I might leave a little later than you guys, too, because I probably should see my parents sometime around the holidays. But I’d love to go.”

Clarke beamed. “Cool. I’ll let my mom know. She’ll be excited.” As she finished speaking, one of the café employees came over with Lexa’s coffee and food. After receiving a quick thank you, the employee left and Lexa looked back to her girlfriend.

“So… you talked to your mom about me?” she quirked up a curious eyebrow.

“Yeah, she likes to be up to date on my life, and believe it or not, you are actually very much a current part of my life.”

“Mm. Good to know.”

“You’re a dork.”

“If you say so…”

The talking died down as they both finished eating their meals and downing their coffee. When they were finally done, they actually ordered a coffee each to go as well, because they would both definitely be needing the caffeine. By now, it was past one. However, as Clarke quickly confirmed by the use of her handy cell phone, no stores were yet open explicitly for Black Friday yet, and they actually had about three hours until most would open.

“I feel like I should’ve known how Black Friday works by now,” Clarke said. “Although I guess to be fair, I haven’t been Black Friday shopping in like… forever.”

“Yeah, I have no excuse. Some places usually do open at midnight or one, but I don’t know what any of them are. I probably should’ve looked it up beforehand.”

Clarke shrugged, slipping her phone into her pocket and linking their free hands. “Well, my place isn’t super far from here… maybe we can stop there?”

A quick subway trip later found the two of them at Clarke’s apartment, which was still in its relatively clean and empty state. As they entered in the warm room, Clarke kind of wished that she hadn’t had so much caffeine, because then maybe they could’ve napped before heading out, but then she thought about it, and she’d rather pull the all-nighter with her girlfriend anyway.

“I guess we have a couple of hours to kill here,” Lexa commented, peeling off her coat as Clarke did the same. “What should we do?” Clarke hummed thoughtfully, stepping a little closer to the brunette. She heard Lexa’s slight intake of breath, and knew what she was expecting, but after a brief pause, Clarke sidestepped the brunette, walking into her small living area and to her pile of canvases. In between the pile and the wall was Clarke’s collection of sketchbooks, big and small, but most of them hadn’t been touched in a long while. She crouched down to grab one of the smaller ones, and then she went back to the kitchen, opening the draw on the far end of the cabinets, which instead of housing utensils held dozens of pencils and brushes.

“I wanna draw you,” Clarke announced, in case it wasn’t already obvious to Lexa, who was now leaning against the back of Clarke’s couch. The blonde approached the brunette, grabbing her hand and tugging her into the bedroom. Lexa laughed a little, letting herself be moved.

“Okay?”

Clarke sat down at the foot of her bed, sliding off her shoes, and nodded for Lexa to sit at the head. Lexa pulled off her shoes as well before sitting down in the spot. She leaned against the headboard of the bed and lifted an eyebrow at the blonde.

“You wanna draw me, huh?”

“Mmhmm.” Clarke opened her sketchpad, looking for the next blank page, and then began her sketch.

“Why’s that?”

“Um, have you seen yourself? It’s like you were born to be a subject of art,” Clarke answered easily, despite her focus on sketching gentle lines. She kept glancing up at Lexa, whose gaze seemed to be on Clarke every time, without fail.

Clarke wasn’t exactly sure how long they spent like that, with Lexa just watching Clarke draw her, but the blonde didn’t stop until her sketch was done. Of course, since it was two in the morning and she didn’t have hours to make it perfect, it wasn’t the best drawing in the world, but she was happy with it. When she was finished, she sat up a little straighter and turned the sketchbook so Lexa could see.

Lexa’s eyes widened upon looking at it. “Wow. It looks just like me.”

“Could be better – partly because if I had more time and sleep, I would probably do better. But most because it would be impossible to match anything to how beautiful you are.”

Redness rose to Lexa’s cheeks. “Is that right?”

“One hundred percent.” Clarke batted her eyelashes at the brunette, who let out a little laugh. She then leaned forward, over the drawing, and connected their lips together softly. Clarke practically melted – like she did anytime she touched, let alone kissed, her girlfriend. After a few long moments, the kiss disconnected, Clarke pressed a soft, feathery kiss to the corner of Lexa’s lips before sliding off the bed, grabbing her sketching materials and replacing them.

As she walked back into her bed area, she found Lexa’s gaze still trained on her. “What now?” the woman asked, smiling softly.

“Now, I need to change, because I’m still wearing my work clothes and unlike your lovely work outfits, mine suck ass.”

“That’s because I don’t have a uniform.”

“Exactly.” Clarke turned away from Lexa, looking to her dresser, and crossed her arms to grab the hem of her shirt and pull it over her head. She did it slow enough for it to be a tease, but without any obvious indications that she was intentionally teasing. Then she pushed down her pants, stepping out of them.

She pulled open the top drawer of her dresser and at the same time, heard a slight shifting of the blankets on her bed. A small smile crept onto her face, and sure enough, Lexa was suddenly right behind her, her cool, soft hands pressing on Clarke’s bare hips. Gentle lips pressed to the nape of her neck, then her shoulder.

“Mm, what do you think you’re doing?” Clarke murmured. Lexa didn’t answer, instead dancing her fingers lightly over Clarke’s midsection, causing the woman to shiver. After a few moments like that, Clarke turned herself around in Lexa’s grasp, and then brunette immediately connected their lips. Clarke released a moan into the kiss, and Lexa pushed her backwards, at a bit of an angle so as to avoid hitting the dresser, until her back was pressed to the cold wall.

Lexa suddenly dropped her lips to Clarke’s shoulder, her collarbone, to the tops of her breasts. The blonde’s breathing became more rapid, her skin igniting at Lexa’s touch. She kept going lower, below Clarke’s breasts, above her navel, below it, just above her pants…

By the time she got there, she was kneeling in front of the blonde, who looked down at Lexa once she felt her skin disconnected from those lips. “May I?”

“Please,” she all but begged.

Lexa grinned, gently unbuttoning Clarke’s pants and tugging them downward, her underwear along with it. As soon as it was gone, she was pulling apart Clarke’s legs and bringing her mouth directly to the blonde’s center. Clarke gasped as soon as she felt it, her head tossing back slightly by instinct.

However, Clarke did look back down at her girlfriend, her face between Clarke’s thighs. It was, somehow, one of the most amazing scenes she’d ever seen. Someone as beautiful and…  _ incredible _ as Lexa, worshipping  _ her _ body. Clarke may have had sex with a lot of people in the past, but nothing could compete with this. Lexa  _ cared _ more than any of Clarke’s past lovers, serious or not.

She didn’t have a lot of time to think about it, though, because her breaths were getting more and more labored, and her thoughts were being wiped from her mind. Her hand came up to her own chest, squeezing her left breast as Lexa brought her closer and closer to climax. The brunette’s hands were gripping the back of Clarke’s thighs, and her tongue was doing magic between them, and Clarke was completely consumed by her girlfriend, and all of the sudden, Clarke was crying out in ecstasy as she came.

And just like that, they were both completely distracted from any other tasks at hand.

* * *

Clarke woke up a few hours later, when the time was nearing seven in the morning. Lexa was awake shortly after that, and they both remembered that their intention had been to go shopping. Clarke was honestly surprised that she’d woken up, considering how little sleep she’d gotten, but she wasn’t exactly mad about it. The two of them got dressed and left Clarke’s apartment, deciding to catch the tail end of the morning sales. It kept them from getting trampled by the serious Black Friday shoppers, but Clarke did manage to buy some cheap gloves and a cute scarf, and that was enough to make it worth it.

After that, Lexa had to go back to her apartment, and Clarke made her way back to her studio, where she instantly passed out for the rest of the morning and into the afternoon.


	17. Something 'Bout You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke confesses something to Lexa, and the gang meets the guy Octavia is dating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies! Happy Sunday!  
> Things have been kind of crazy for me - I just got back to my dorm yesterday and have been trying to make sure everything I needed to get done over break is done - and it is! So I figured I'd update now before I forget, then I'm going to unwind a bit.  
> I have two chapters left to write of this story, and yes, I meant to finish during the break... but I was spending a lot of time with my family since I don't see them very often, so I didn't get around to it. However, despite getting ready for a few tests, I actually should have quite a bit of free time over the next two weeks, soooo should be done pretty soon! I've just finished Chapter 18, soooo I've basically gotta be done with 19 by next update day! And since I won't let myself skip a week, you can count on an update on Sunday like normal!!  
> You can keep up with me on my Twitter @BrittzandTana :)
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

“So,” Clarke said into the phone, “I talked to Lexa, and she’s going to come down for Christmas.”

The gasp on the other end of the phone was filled with excitement. “Really? Great! I’m excited to meet her. When will you guys be coming down?”

“Actually, I’ll be coming down with Octavia on the twenty-second, and Lexa will be coming down the morning of Christmas Eve. She’s going to be working and probably grabbing dinner with her parents before she comes down. And we’re going to leave the day after Boxing Day.” Clarke was actually really happy to have all of these details worked out, if only to keep her mom from excessively asking.

It was twenty days till Christmas, and things for Clarke were all around great.

Working every day was stressful as always, but Clarke much preferred having the spending money and the increasingly full savings account to having a couple of days off every week. That said, she was starting to realize that if she’d been more open to taking the subway rather than a cab in the past, she could’ve saved a lot of money. It almost made her wonder if she actually even needed a car, but then she remembered the road trips down to DC and the fact that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to live in New York forever. It just seemed safer to have one, she supposed.

Aside from, work and money, however, everything else in Clarke’s life was also better than ever. Her friends were all good, and she and Raven had slowly gotten back to the point where they talked often. She would’ve liked to attribute their distance to the fact that they were both busy, Clarke with working every day and Raven with her work at Columbia, but the truth was that they both needed some time to work back up to being close after everything that happened. They were in a better place now, though, it seemed, which was good.

And of course, everything with Lexa was great. Despite them both having busy schedules, they managed to see each other multiple times a week, whether to just hang out, grab food, or spend a couple of hours rolling around in bed. No matter what they were doing, however, Clarke couldn’t get enough of it. Anytime spent with Lexa was easily her favorite time. No one had ever made her as happy as Lexa made her, and Clarke was starting to realize this more and more as time passed.

“Okay,” Abby was saying, “that’s fine! I’m excited to see you, Clarke. You haven’t visited in a while.”

“I know,” Clarke said apologetically.

“Alright well, I have to go, but make sure you call me again before Christmas so that I don’t forget when you’re showing up.”

“As if you’d forget,” Clarke teased. “Bye mom. Have a good day at work.”

“You do the same, sweetie.”

The call ended, and it was perfect timing too, because Clarke was walking up to the gallery at the exact same time, sliding her phone into her pocket and getting ready for the work day.

* * *

“My mom is really excited to meet you,” Clarke said, laying across Lexa’s couch as the brunette made coffee in the kitchen. She’d been texting Octavia about Christmas, and realized that she hadn’t really talked much with Lexa about the whole ordeal, and she figured now was as good a time as ever.

Clarke had started working some more night shifts throughout the week, because it was easier that way to spend a late night and a morning with Lexa, since it matched up with Lexa’s schedule more. So it was Monday morning, eighteen days until Christmas, and the two of them had woken up about half an hour earlier, naked and cold, despite their cuddling, and ready for a cup of coffee.

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. I haven’t actually dated very many people, so she’s always gotten really excited when I do,” Clarke explained as Lexa appeared coming around the couch with two cups of coffee. Clarke sat up to accept hers and to give Lexa room to sit down. “Plus, she can probably tell that you’re different.”

“Different, huh?”

“Yup.”

“Different how?”

“Like… I like you a lot.”

“A lot?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I like you a lot too,” Lexa said, chuckling quietly as she sipped her coffee. The room got quiet then, and Clarke felt some kind of tension in the air that she hadn’t felt around Lexa. It felt like something had been left unsaid, and it was easy to realize, after a second, what it was. But she couldn’t just say it, randomly out of nowhere.

“So, back to Christmas,” Clarke said instead, “my mom and Aurora, Octavia’s mom, usually switch off which house we all go to every year, because since it’s usually just the four of us, there’s room. Since you can share a bed with me, that hasn’t changed, so we’re going to be at my mom’s house. So on Christmas Eve, Aurora and Octavia are going to come over and stay overnight as well for Christmas.”

“Cool. Are there any special Griffin-Blake Christmas rituals I need to know about? Everyone does Christmas differently, and for me… well, I haven’t really done Christmas in a while.”

“Nah, not really. We open stockings on Christmas Eve, but usually that’s just Aurora’s whole deal. She stuffs our stockings with candy and shit and we all pig out while we count down to midnight, then we go to bed and wake up in the morning and open presents. Pretty simple,” Clarke explained.

Lexa smiled. “Cool. I’m excited.”

“Me too,” Clarke replied, taking a long sip from her mug of coffee before setting it down on the coffee table. She turned sideways, so that she could lay her head down on Lexa’s lap, and the brunette chuckled as she lifted her coffee cup to make room for her girlfriend.

“Did you get the Octavia text about Saturday too?”

“When?”

“I don’t know, sometime last night or this morning.”

“Dunno, I haven’t checked. I’ve been with you this whole time, and while you were catching up on texts, I was making you coffee.” Lexa gave Clarke a playful glare, and the blonde blushed.

“Well, are you working Saturday night?”

“Midday shift. I’ll be off around eight or nine.”

“Perfect. Octavia wants everyone to meet the guy she is probably getting into a serious relationship with – they haven’t actually explicitly defined what it is they’re doing, but she really likes him and she wants him to meet all her friends and stuff. So she’s doing a party sort of thing. You and me, Raven, Bellamy, I think Anya, Lincoln and Luna, and Nick – the guy.”

“Alright, sounds good to me. What time is it at?”

“She said seven, but you can just show up late,” Clarke said with a shrug.

“Cool.”

They sat in silence for a second, and Clarke felt like the tension was thicker than before. She closed her eyes, trying to block it out, and Lexa began running her fingers through her hair. It helped diffuse the tension somewhat, but Clarke still felt like she needed to clarify just how much she liked Lexa…

“Lexa?” she breathed out quietly, barely even hearing herself.

“What’s up, babe?”

“I love you.” After the words escaped her lips, Clarke forced her eyes open, and she met Lexa’s gaze. The brunette was smiling, her eyebrows lifted slightly.

“Do you now?”

“Yes, but you’re not allowed to do that asking back what I just said thing until you’ve said that you love me back,” Clarke muttered with a pout, hoping that her face wasn’t as red as it felt like it was.

“Obviously I love you back, Clarke,” Lexa said, running her fingers through blonde hair again. “I’ve… kind of been like, totally in love with you for a while, but I didn’t want to scare you away… or something. I… didn’t want to make you feel rushed or anything.”

“Well, thankfully there’s no need to worry about that now, because I am also totally in love with you, you dork.”

Lexa scrunched her nose cutely. “Well, that is definitely a nice thing to hear.”

“You’re a dork.”

“Who you love.”

Clarke sighed happily, not even trying to fight the smile that came to her lips as she let her eyes flicker closed, enjoying the feeling of Lexa’s fingers in her hair. “Yeah.”

* * *

Saturday, thirteen days until Christmas, Clarke found herself at her best friend’s apartment before the planned get together was scheduled to start. She’d gone straight there from work, and was gladly eating some of the snacks that Octavia had gathered up for that night. The brunette kept telling her not to, but the reality was that Octavia was stressing out way too much about the evening to really notice when Clarke kept it up anyway.

“You need to calm down,” Clarke insisted, “everything’s going to be fine. In fact, you being nervous is making me less likely to like Nick, because apparently for some reason, you’re nervous that I might not.”

“It’s not that,” Octavia insisted. “It’s just… I don’t know. I’m just nervous, alright? He’s meeting my bestest friend, all of my other friends, and my brother. All at once.”

“This is exactly what you suggested we should do so that he could meet everyone though. Would you rather him meet us all one by one and have to live through that awkwardness multiple times? Also, having him meet us all at once with alcohol involved is probably better, since we’re never going to be worse than now, so from now on we’ll all seem a lot more awesome.”

Octavia was staring at the blonde incredulously. “Do you hear what you just said? You make it sound like he’s going to hate you. Oh fuck, what if he hates you?”

“Hey, he won’t hate me. I’ll be sober,” Clarke reminded her friend. “And Lexa will probably stay mostly sober. Every time I’m with her, like if we’re getting dinner or something, I always tell her to have a drink but she refuses. It’s kind of sweet actually. And I guess I appreciate it.”

“That’s because you have her whipped, and also it’s not that fun to drink when your significant other isn’t. Especially since you two are still kind of new, because if she accidentally got wasted, you’d have to take care of her. And that wouldn’t be fun for you, so of course she would avoid that,” Octavia said, but then she huffed in annoyance. “That’s not the point. Clarke. What if Nick hates everyone?”

“Then I guess you’ll have to choose between us and him,” Clarke said, feigning a gasp of horror. Octavia deflated slightly, and Clarke rolled her eyes. “Oh my gosh, Octavia, that’s not going to happen. It’s going to be fine. If you like him, I’m sure we’ll like him, and he’ll like us, and it’ll be fine. I promise.”

A knock on the door indicated that someone had arrived, and Octavia immediately squeaked in panic. “Oh shit. What if it’s him? Or actually, would it be worse if he was the last one here? Oh fuck.”

“Don’t worry, Lexa will be the last one here, so that spot’s already taken.”

“Well, second to last then!”

“Oh my god, O, open the fucking door.”

Octavia frowned and walked over to the door. Before she opened it, she took in a deep breath and let her expression relax, and then she opened it. To Clarke’s disappointment, it wasn’t Nick, but rather Bellamy, looking suddenly perplexed as Octavia let out a sigh of relief. “Come on in, Bell.”

Her brother walked into the apartment, passing Octavia as she closed the door behind him. “Did you think I was a murderer or something? The party is tonight, right?”

“She was scared you’d be Nick,” Clarke informed him, rolling her eyes. “Or maybe that you weren’t Nick. But seeing as how she’s relaxed now, I’m going with the former.”

Bellamy looked even more confused now. “Okay?”

“Don’t worry about it, she’s just nervous that Nick will hate us all.”

“Alright…”

Octavia groaned. “You guys are annoying.”

“I literally just got here.” Bellamy looked at Clarke with utter confusion, and the blonde just chuckled lightly, shaking her head.

“Join the club, Bell.”

Another knock on the door, and this time, Octavia practically jumped out of her skin. “Oh shit, what if –“

“Octavia Blake if you don’t open the goddamn door –“ Clarke interrupted.

“Alright, alright, fine.” Octavia took in another breath, and then she open the door another time, and this time, she immediately stood up straighter. “Hey!” Clarke didn’t even need to see through the doorway to know that this had to be Nick.

Bellamy was blocking her view of it, anyhow, and she huffed, leaning to the side in the barstool she was sitting in so as to see him. “Hey yourself,” a man’s voice said, a gentle laugh following it.

“Come on in,” Octavia said, stepping back. Suddenly realizing that he’d just been standing there, Bellamy moved slightly further into the apartment, closer to where Clarke was, and the blonde finally got a view of Octavia’s probable soon-to-be boyfriend. He had a darker complexion, hair that was buzzed on either side of his head but not so drastically that it created a mohawk, and wore a friendly expression. Clarke could see how Octavia would be interested in him. “So this is Bellamy, my twin brother, and Clarke, the world’s worst friend who I’ve told you about.”

“Hah, you’re funny,” Clarke deadpanned, rolling her eyes at the brunette before looking to Nick with a smile. “Nice to meet you, Nick.”

“You too, both of you,” Nick said, extending a hand to Bellamy, who shook it, unfazed. Nick then did the same for Clarke, and too be honest, she was surprised that he’d done it at all, but she shook it all the same.

Clarke could tell that Octavia was pretty nervous, and she inhaled deeply. “Want a beer?”

“Oh sure, I’ll take one,” Nick agreed with a nod.

Looking relieved at the chance to grab alcohol, Octavia closed the door Nick had just come through and started for the kitchen. “Cool. Bell?”

“Yeah sure.”

Octavia grabbed three bottles out of the fridge as Bellamy asked Nick, “So Nick, what do you do?”

“I’m actually a photographer for a magazine and its online blog,” Nick told him. “I get to go out on the streets of New York every day and document whatever weird things are happening. And there are usually a lot of those.”

“You’re not wrong there,” Bellamy agreed with a nod. Octavia handed him and Nick each a beer, and they both thanked her. Nick opened his, taking a sip from it, and then smiled.

“What do you two do?”

“I work with database systems for a law firm,” Bellamy said with a shrug. “Not sure it’s what I want to be doing forever, but it’s part of what I went to school for, so I’m starting here for now.”

“Well hey, I don’t think most people would be trusted near things like that if they weren’t good at it, so props to you. How about you, Clarke?”

“Oh you know, starving artist and all that.”

“Except she’s not starving,” Octavia said, “because she works her ass off at two jobs, and one of those jobs is at an art gallery, so someday she’ll be famous as fuck.”

Clarke laughed, grinning at her friend. “That is the goal.”

“What art gallery?” Nick asked with curiosity, just as there was another knock on the door. Octavia quickly darted around the group to go and open it.

“It’s this small one that some of our friends own,” Clarke answered, just as she watched said friends walk into Octavia’s apartment. “Oh, it’s theirs, actually.” Clarke nodded toward Anya and Lincoln, who had just come in.

“Hey guys!” Octavia was greeting them brightly. “Come on in. Could Luna not make it?”

“She had plans with her sister right after work today, so she might come later if she has time,” Lincoln told the brunette.

“Gotcha,” Octavia said with a nod. “Well, this is Nick. Nick, this is Lincoln and Anya – they’re siblings.”

“Great to meet you guys,” Nick said. “I heard you own an art gallery? What’s that like? I’m actually supposed to be tracking down an up and coming art exhibition to photograph for the magazine I work for.”

And just like, that conversation progressed. Despite Octavia’s initial fears, everyone seemed to be getting along great, and once Raven had showed up a few minutes later, Octavia settled into the conversation standing next to Nick, the two of which seemed to drift slightly closer as time went on. Clarke began to tune out of the conversation when it digressed to something she wasn’t particularly interested in, especially since Lexa should’ve been showing up soon, and as always, she was excited to see her girlfriend.

Raven seemed to notice her disconnected. “Hey, C, what’s up? How was work?”

“Pretty good,” Clarke answered with a nod. “Kinda impatient to see Lexa, though. I didn’t get to see her yesterday.”

“You know, I haven’t actually seen her recently,” Raven admitted. “I’ve only worked one shift at the bar this week.”

“Really? Finally calling it quits on the side job?”

“Yeah, actually. I’m handing in my resignation on Monday,” the Latina admitted. “It’s kind of sad to let it go, but I’m excited to be fully committed to the research at Columbia. I’ve always wanted to work in research, and I’m thinking that I might go into a grad program finally. Doctor Reyes does sound kind of nice, don’t you think?”

“Definitely. Am I supposed to picturing you in a lab coat laughing manically at some creature rising in the middle of a dimly lit room, though? Because that’s the image I just got.”

Raven laughed brightly. “Uh, no, not exactly. I’m not looking to be a biologist, so I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“Hey, I didn’t say that creature wasn’t a robot or some shit,” Clarke pointed out, narrowing her eyes jokingly.

“You’re crazy.” The Latina sipped her beer as Clarke snacked on some chips. “So, what do you think of him?” She was talking softer now, even though the rest of the conversation was loud enough that probably no one else would’ve heard the question anyway.

“I like him. He’s nice, and Octavia really likes him, and he seem to like her.” Clarke glanced over at the two of them. “I just want her to be happy, and every time she talks about him, she gets like, super happy.”

Raven nodded, smiling.

Suddenly, there was another knock on the door, and Clarke was up on her feet probably a little too quickly. Raven laughed at the blonde as she squeezed past the group over to the door. When she swung it open, she grinned as she met the gaze of her girlfriend. “Hello, beautiful,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at the brunette.

Lexa laughed in confusion. “Hello, there. You haven’t had anything to drink, have you?” The playful smile the brunette wore told the blonde that she was, of course, only joking.

“Hah, no,” Clarke answered. “I just missed you.”

“You’re cute,” Lexa said simply, stepping into the apartment as Clarke stepped backwards, blushing despite how innocent the compliment was.

“Hey, Lex!” Anya called.

The rest of the people in the room offered up greetings as well, and then Octavia to Nick, “Yeah, that’s Lexa. She and Clarke are lovers.”

Clarke scrunched her nose up. “Why do you have to say it all weird like that?”

“Because I like seeing your uncomfortable face when I do.”

“You better not do that during Christmas.”

“Oh god,” Lexa said with a laugh.

“Nice to meet you, Lexa.” Nick, amused, ignored Octavia and Clarke’s bickering and nodded to the brunette. The conversation picked back up from where it’d left off before, and Lexa looked to the blonde.

“Is there any food?”

“Mostly snacks,” Clarke answered, tugging Lexa to the kitchen. “And there’s beer if you want one.”

“Eh, I don’t need one. I guess I’ll have chips for dinner.”

“We could secretly order a pizza?”

“And then secretly get it from the pizza guy and secretly eat it right in front of our friends?” Lexa lifted her eyebrows, a smirk coming to her face.

“Hmm… better idea, snacks now, we’ll go get pizza after? We can go to the place down the street from my place, and then you’ll have a perfectly valid excuse to stay the night with me.” Clarke gave her girlfriend a sweet, and only somewhat suggestive, smile, batting her eyelashes.

“We’re both adults, I’m pretty sure the only excuse I need to stay over at your place is that we both want me to,” Lexa mused. “Sounds like a plan to me, though.”

The rest of the party, if it could be called that, went well. Everyone liked Nick, and he seemed to like everyone just as well. By the time everyone was leaving, Octavia was ecstatic, and she got a goodbye kiss from Nick that only Clarke and Lexa witnessed, since they were the last to leave.

Once Nick was out of the apartment, Octavia squealed happily and grinned at her best friend. “Oh my god, I’m so glad that went well.”

“I told you that it would,” Clarke reminded her. “You were all anxious over nothing.”

“Yeah well. It’s done with now, thank god. I’m probably going to see him tomorrow night. And I’m pretty sure that if he doesn’t ask me to be exclusive, I’m going to end up just asking him.”

“Yes, break social norms,” Lexa approved with a chuckle, leaning against Octavia’s kitchen counter.

“You better text me after that,” Clarke said to her best friend, grabbing her phone and sliding it in her pocket, getting ready to leave. “With all the keeping you up to date that I’ve had to do about me and Lexa, you owe me the favor.”

“Whoa, do I want to know just how up to date Octavia is kept on our relationship?”

“Don’t worry, it stopped after you two became exclusive. I’m not trying to be creepy,” Octavia insisted.

“Wait, but that means that when we had sex the first time…”

“It’s not like I gave her specifics,” Clarke huffed out.

Octavia smirked. “But I did get her to admit that she was the bottom.” Lexa snickered as well, and Clarke narrowed her eyes.

“I think it’s dumb that we categorize people into tops and bottoms when a lot of times people do both either way,” the blonde muttered dejectedly.

“You only think it’s dumb because you know you’re a bottom,” Octavia accused.

Clarke groaned. “Ugh. We’re leaving.”

“Aww, okay. I’ll text you tomorrow, C! Don’t have too much fun, my favorite femslash couple!”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Do I want to know how you know what femslash means?”

“Don’t question her,” Clarke insisted. “Let’s go. Bye, O!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How would you guys feel about a college fic as my next fic? I don't think I've actually ever written a true college Clexa fic, huh? I think we should change that :)  
> Have a great day/night, thank you all for reading! xx


	18. Deck Those Halls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Octavia are helping their moms get things ready for Christmas, and Clarke is missing Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!!  
> Yesterday was my 5th year anniversary of publishing fanfiction!!! :D I wish I had something extra to give you guys as a celebration, but unfortunately, all I've got is a normal update. But this is the 3rd to last chapter in this story! Next Sunday I will post the second to last chapter, which is 7000 words!! Ah! And the last chapter will be up on the December 17th! It is possible that I will not be posting my new story until January, but if that's the case, I will try to post some one shots at the end of December!!  
> Also side note: I am fully done writing this story, so I know how it ends and everything will be out on time!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy the final stretch of this story!  
> Enjoy!!xx

Three days until Christmas, Clarke found herself in Octavia’s car riding shotgun, music blasting from the stereo as they road tripped from New York City to Washington DC. They were halfway into the drive at this point, meaning that they had about two hours left. Clarke was starting to get that tired feeling that came with road trips after the initial excitement died down, and if she was being honest, she was kind of bummed that for the next two days, she would be unable to see Lexa.

She’d been seeing Lexa pretty much every day, even when they both worked conflicting shifts, they usually managed to pop in somewhere and talk for a few minutes, or grab a late night or early morning coffee. Not to mention, Clarke had spent almost a third of the nights since early December at Lexa’s place, and the brunette had probably spent a an equal number of nights over at Clarke’s place. Even if they didn’t  _ do _ anything, sleeping next to each other just felt so much better.

So yes, she wasn’t excited to spend two days not seeing Lexa. Especially since spending time with her mom would keep her from talking to Lexa a lot via the phone, and the brunette was not only working the next two days, but was also supposed to be meeting up with her parents as well.

Suddenly, Octavia was turning down the volume of the music and replacing the sound with her voice. “So, your mom is excited to meet Lexa?”

“Yeah,” Clarke answered with a small smile. “I hope it all goes well. I’m kind of nervous… I guess just because I really want her to like Lexa. Because like… if she doesn’t, that would really suck.”

“Because you’re not planning on losing that girl anytime soon,” Octavia clarified her thought for her, and Clarke chuckled, nodding.

“Yeah.”

“Well, until then, you and I have some Christmas prepping to do. My mom texted me last night to say that we’re in charge of shopping for all the food before Christmas Eve,” Octavia informed the blonde. “She and Abby will make it all, or I guess it’s better to say that my mom will make it and your mom will be there for moral support… but yeah, we need to go shopping tomorrow for everything.”

“Sounds fun,” Clarke said, somewhat sarcastically. She didn’t mind shopping for food, but sometimes her mom was oddly specific in what she wanted, and that wasn’t ever fun.

“But hey, the best part,” Octavia continued, “is that that means we get to pick all of the desserts! So you better start making a list of what you want, because I’m already planning on buying like three kinds of pie.”

Clarke laughed. “Alright, sounds like a plan.” With that, the conversation faded out, and Octavia turned up the volume of the radio again.

* * *

Octavia pulled up to Abby’s house first, pulling into the driveway to let Clarke out. “Alright, text me if you wanna meet up again today, otherwise I’ll let you know when I’m going to the grocery store and then I’ll come pick you up before then.”

“Sounds good, see you, O,” Clarke said, clambering out the passenger door. Octavia popped the trunk and Clarke walked around to grab her things. Upon removing them, she closed the trunk and started walking up to the front of her mom’s house. She glanced over her shoulder and gave her best friend a small wave, which was returned, and then the brunette was driving off.

Clarke went up to the front door and took in a breath before ringing the doorbell. It about ten long seconds later that the opened, revealing Abby Griffin looking very happy. “Clarke! Finally!” She opened her arms for a hug, and Clarke smiled, barely managing to actually hug her mom while carrying her backpack. “Geez, I haven’t seen you since what, was it last Christmas? I don’t think you came down here any other time this year.”

“Yeah, I think the last time was Christmas. I’m sorry mom, I know you’d like to see me more. I guess I’m just… always really busy. Trying to figure myself out.”

“I know, I know,” Abby said with a nod. “Do you ever think that figuring yourself out stuff would be easier if you’d stayed in school?”

Of course, every time Clarke saw her mom, the woman had to bring up college. That said, by now it was more of a filler question that didn’t require a legitimate response. Abby stepped back so as to let Clarke into the house, and the blonde dragged her things in. “I don’t know, but I’m pretty happy right now. I’m working part time at an art gallery, plus I have my fulltime job at the restaurant. So I’m making decent money. Probably going to be able to get a car next spring, so I’ll try to visit a little more often.”

“Good, because I feel like we used to be pretty close right after you moved out for college, and since then it’s kind of been bumpy. But I’d really like to keep up with you, Clarke. You’re my only daughter, and I would hate myself if I let us fall out of touch completely,” Abby said sadly.

Clarke felt herself frown. “I know, mom, don’t worry.”

“So!” Abby said, abruptly changing the tone of the conversation. “Obviously you’ll be staying in your old room. Which I finally redid – by the way. Well, I didn’t really. Aurora has a friend who was starting up a remodeling business, and she was desperately looking for work, and when Aurora told me about it, I figured I’d let her do that room. It’s more of a guest bedroom now, although I left all the old pictures you’d had up in there up still. Feel free to take them, though, if you want them. I know you have some old ones from when you were a kid, and there’s lots of you and Octavia as well.”

Clarke nodded. “Cool, yeah I’ll probably take some. I’m going to go put this stuff upstairs, then.”

“Okay. I worked a graveyard shift last night, so I slept through most of the morning, but I don’t have to work again today, so we can go out and get lunch as soon as you’re ready. Then I thought maybe you and I can get out the Christmas decorations – because you know that I never put those up by myself.”

Clarke felt her heart warm up, because it felt like forever since she’d seen her mom, and she’d forgotten that when she wasn’t busy being angry at her mom for always texting her and trying to talk to her, she actually really did like hanging out with her mom. In person, things were usually fine, but as soon as Clarke was away, her mom seemed to get pushier and more judgmental. But now, times like this, Clarke loved them. “Sounds like a plan. Let me just go put this stuff down.”

“Of course. I’ll be in my office sending a couple of emails,” Abby said, nodding. They split off in two different directions as Clarke approached the stairs with her bags. It was a little annoying to get them up, but once she was there, she easily tugged them into her old room. It did look a lot different. The walls were now a warmer, crème color, and the bedding wasn’t the old purple and blue checkered comforter from when she was in high school. The furniture was all dark brown wood, and it was actually really nice. But of course, like her mom had said, the area on the wall where Clarke had always kept photos was still there, a cluster of little pictures of Clarke’s childhood and teenage years.

She set her backpack on the bed and left her rolling luggage on the floor. She really didn’t have that much stuff with her – clothes, some sketchbooks and stuff, her makeup and bathroom supplies. But the reason she had to bring two whole separate bags were the gifts.

She’d already known that she wouldn’t be spending a ton of money on gifts for Christmas, but she still had four gifts to buy. For her mom, she’d gotten a pretty nice, insulated portable coffee flask. For Octavia’s mom, she’d gotten a cookbook that looked up her alley. As for Octavia, the two of them had agreed years prior that Christmas was the time for silly gifts and birthdays were the time for meaningful gifts. It kept them from spending too much time and effort two times a year, since it was a given that they would get each other gifts for both occasions. Therefore, her gift from Clarke this Christmas was a mug that said “World’s Best Journalist: Trust me, I wrote the article on it.” She thought her best friend would appreciate the humor.

Lexa’s gift was the hardest one for Clarke to pick, because when she’d gone shopping for it, nothing had really jumped out at her as the right thing to get her girlfriend. She’d ended up deciding to split the gift into two, where half of it would be a drawing. That was already complete, although it had been somewhat hard to work on it between jobs and not let Lexa see it. At some point in the beginning of December, Clarke had taken a cute selfie with her girlfriend, and that’s what she’d drawn. She’d colored it all with the Polychromo pencils she had, which also happened to be the most expensive colored pencils she’d ever owned, so it was all out, and she was really happy with it. Because she didn’t want just the drawing to be the gift, though, Clarke had also bought these cute little dangly earrings that were martini glasses, because she could totally picture Lexa wearing them at work.

All in all, she was happy with her gift selections, but they had required a bit more careful packing and thus, two bags.

After setting her things down, she pulled her phone out of her coat pocket where it had been sitting, and saw that Lexa had texted her around nine in the morning – about an hour after Clarke and Octavia had left New York, requesting a text when Clarke made it to her mom’s. Instead of texting her, however, Clarke hit the call button. Since it was still early in the day, she was fairly sure that Lexa wouldn’t be busy, and sure enough, the brunette answered the call almost immediately.

“Hey you,” Lexa said brightly. “Made it to DC?”

“Yep, I’m in my old bedroom, which my mom completely redid, though, so it looks totally different,” Clarke answered. “Although, she left up these pictures that my dad had started putting up when I was about six, and I kept up the tradition after he died. So when you get here, you get to see a bunch of pictures of me before my better years.”

Lexa laughed. “I’m sure you were adorable, though.”

“Eh, debatable. So what’s in store for your day?”

“Well, I’m working the full afternoon and night, but not much until then. My parents said they’re free tomorrow, so I’ll go get a nice lunch with them before I work another full afternoon and night. Except I’m going to try to see if I can get someone to cover the last couple of hours of that shift so that I can sleep earlier and leave earlier in the morning. Because I’m not going to lie, I already miss you.”

Clarke smiled. “Sap.”

“Hey…”

“Okay yeah, no, I miss you too,” Clarke said with a light chuckle. “Well… I wanted to call you to let you know that I was here, and to tell you that I love you.”

“Who’s the sap now?”

“Ha, yeah, okay. We’re both sappy as hell. Now I’ve gotta go get lunch with my mom, so… call me when you get off tonight, okay?”

“I will, but if you don’t answer the first time I’m not going to try to wake you up to talk to me.”

“I’ll stay up.”

“Babe, it’ll be really late…”

“I don’t care,” Clarke huffed, pouting even though her girlfriend couldn’t see her. “Just call me once, I promise I’ll be up.”

Lexa sighed. “Alright, I will. I love you, Clarke. Have a good time with your mom.”

“I will, love you too.” The phone call ended there, and Clarke sighed happily. She slipped her phone back into her coat pocket, checked that she had her wallet already on her person as well, and then she left the room, heading downstairs to meet up with her mom to go for lunch.

* * *

As it turned out, Clarke wasn’t able to stay up late enough to get Lexa’s phone call. She woke up the next morning, two days before Christmas, with this realization and a frown. She checked her phone, and indeed, her girlfriend had called her. Immediately after, she’d texted as well.

**Lexa – I’m glad you’re sleeping. Text me tomorrow :)**

That brought a smile to Clarke’s lips despite having missed her girlfriend’s call. She quickly typed out a response.

**Clarke – Sorry I missed your call :( I guess I was kinda worn out. Got lunch with my mom yesterday and then we decided to go see a movie – bad idea, I forgot how packed movie theaters are around Christmas time, lol. Then we came back home and talked for a while, managed to make some sort of food to eat for dinner, and I accidentally passed out while I was trying to stay up lol.**

**Clarke – I hope you have a good lunch with your parents!!**

Just as she sent the second text message, her phone started ringing with a phone call from Octavia.

She answered it without thought, falling back into her pillow and bringing it up to her ear. “What’s up, O?”

“I hope you have your dessert list ready, because we are going shopping!”

“Ugh, why? It’s like nine in the morning.”

“You’re no fun. I just needed to make sure that you’re awake – so get your ass ready, get the money and list from your mom, and I’ll be there to pick you up in about half an hour. Then we can go grab breakfast somewhere and then go shop,” Octavia instructed. Clarke groaned, but Octavia apparently took that as an affirmative, because then she said, “Glad you’re on board! See you in half an hour!”

The call ended, and Clarke let out a long sigh. She gave herself ten more seconds of laying in bed, and then she pushed herself up and started getting ready.

After taking a quick shower, doing her makeup, and getting dressed, Clarke headed downstairs, surprised at how quiet it was. Her mental question as to why was answered when she saw a note sitting on the kitchen counter, explaining that Abby had work until later that afternoon. Along with the note was a list of everything she and Aurora would need for Christmas dinner, as well as a couple of bills paperclipped together. Clarke grabbed her wallet out of her pocket, sliding the money and the list into it. She then grabbed her phone from the other pocket and checked the time as she moved to the living room to sit down and wait for Octavia.

She had a text from Lexa.

**Lexa – Sounds like you had a good day though :) And thanks, I’m not particularly excited about it, but hopefully it’ll go well. After it, I’m meeting up with Anya, Lincoln, and Luna before I go into work, because or else I won’t see them until after Christmas.**

**Clarke – Oh that’s good, then. I’m about to get dragged through the grocery store to buy everything that my mom and Aurora are going to need for Christmas dinner.**

**Lexa – Kinda early for grocery shopping, isn’t it?**

**Clarke – Tell that to Octavia :(**

And just as she sent that text, her phone dinged to indicate a new text from a certain bubbly brunette, and Clarke didn’t even read it, instead just standing and starting toward the front door. She saw the spare key set on the table in the entryway, and she smiled at the fact that her mom had thought to leave it there. She grabbed it, walked out into the cold air, and locked the front door behind her.

Octavia was parked in the driveway flashing the blonde a wide grin from the driver’s seat. Clarke quickly made her way over to the passenger seat, and as soon as she was seated and buckled in, Octavia pulled out of the driveway.

“Alright, so you got your mom’s list? I guess she and my mom split up the foods as far as who would make what, and we’re obviously in charge of desserts. My mom said we should actually  _ make _ a pie or something, but it might just be better if we buy like six pies that are already made, you know?”

“I really don’t care,” Clarke admitted.

“Oh come on, you want pie, though, right?”

“Obviously.”

Octavia sniffed. “You’re grouchy this morning, aren’t you?”

“Tired,” Clarke muttered. “Also, I meant to stay up last night and answer Lexa’s call when she got off, but I fell asleep, and I miss her.”

“Oh… sorry, C. But you’re gonna get to see her tomorrow, and eat a ton of great food,  _ and _ pie. If it makes you feel better, I don’t get to see Nick until New Year’s Eve,” Octavia offered up with a frown.

Clarke sighed. “You’re right.”

“Duh,” Octavia said with a sympathetic smile.

They got to the grocery store after a few minutes, and by then, Clarke was feeling slightly more awake and prepared to be dragged around by her best friend. Once in the store, Clarke grabbed a cart, so as to let Octavia do most of the obtaining of actual food.

“Alright, first thing’s first, a ham,” Octavia read off of her mom’s list.

Most of the shopping adventure went by pretty quickly, but as soon as they’d finished collecting the items from both of their mom’s lists, it was time to get dessert. Octavia excitedly led Clarke to the bakery section, which was incredibly stocked up. Clarke supposed that one thing about shopping so early was that a lot of the baked goods would probably have been sold already if they’d waited too long.

Octavia was adamant about getting a strawberry-rhubarb pie, and when she asked Clarke what she wanted, the blonde didn’t think she cared until she saw a pecan walnut pie. Aside from those two, they also bought some pre-decorated Christmas cookies as well as some blank ones and some frosting – in case they actually felt like putting in more effort than normal. What usually happened was that on Boxing Day, when all of the other sweets were gone, they just ate the blank cookies without any decorations.

When they finally left the store, they had an insane amount of groceries considering that the meals for the next few days were only meant to feed four people. That said, it was Christmas time, and half of the fun with having a ton of food was having leftovers, so she supposed that her mom would be happy with that.

So they headed back to Abby’s house to put all the food away, and Clarke was just happy that it was a little bit closer to Lexa coming down.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty loves!  
> For extra stuff check out my Twitter @BrittzandTana bio!  
> Have a great day lovelies!! (I'm about to power through my last week of classes for this semester and then my 2 finals! Let's goooo!!) xx


	19. Couldn't Miss This One This Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Christmas chapter!! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves!! It's update time! (AND THIS IS THE SECOND TO LAST UPDATE)
> 
> (I'm too tired to proof this right now, because I've been staring at my computer scene for the whole weekend and my eyes are tired as heck... so if there are any glaring typos, I am so sorry!)
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

**** Later that night, Octavia and Aurora came over to the Griffin house with their bags for the next couple of days. It was easier, and more fun, if they were all staying together in the same house during the holiday, and it’d been their tradition for years. They made a quick, small dinner – although Aurora and Octavia did most of the cooking.

After dinner, Clarke and Octavia congregated in Clarke’s bedroom, sprawling across her bed like they used to when they were teenagers.

“Can I ask you a question?” Octavia wondered all of the sudden.

“Go for it.”

Octavia was quiet for a moment. “Do you think I should stay at my dad’s company?”

Clarke lifted her eyebrows, giving Octavia a look of concern. “Why? Thinking of leaving?”

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s a decent job and I’m finally getting to write at least once a week. But… well, newspapers are getting less popular, and there are a ton of magazine companies that publish online and in print, and those are usually better at adjusting to changing tech and stuff. And… I don’t know, I think it might give me more opportunities if I try to get a job at something like that.”

“This isn’t coming up just because Nick works for a magazine, right?”

Octavia shook her head. “No, of course not. I mean, I guess I thought about it a little more when I thought about that. But I don’t think I’d really want to work for that magazine anyway. I just think I might have more opportunities to get better and stay in the business if I switch out of newspapers. That said, I could get cool opportunities because this is my dad’s company… but also I don’t ever want that to be the only reason I get jobs and things.”

The blonde thought for a moment, not wanting to say the wrong thing or speak too soon. Her best friend was clearly stuck on this issue. “O, I think you should do whatever you think will help you grow the most, and enjoy your work the most. I mean, even if your dad owning the newspaper has nothing to do with jobs and opportunities you get, you might always be wondering if it’s the sole reason. And you’re an amazing writer, so I know that you’d make it in any company.”

Smiling softly, Octavia sighed and let her head fall onto one of the pillows at the head of Clarke’s bed. “I think I’m going to send my resume to a few that I’d be interested in. See if I can get an interview. If I get one, I’ll look at pay, and if it’s worth it, I’m going to go for it. I guess I just sort of feel bad since I haven’t been working at my job for very long.”

“Don’t feel bad. You need to do what’s best for you, O.”

“I know. Thanks, C.”

Suddenly, Clarke’s phone started ringing. She knew who it had to be before she answered it, but she checked anyway, and it was, of course, Lexa. Answering without hesitation, she chirped, “Hey! You managed to get off early?”

“Yep,” Lexa replied happily. “Thank goodness, because I am so tired.”

“How was meeting up with your parents?”

“Surprisingly okay. We caught up on recent events and whatnot. To be honest, seeing them is always kind of the same. ‘How are you doing?’ ‘How’s the job?’ ‘You’re not broke are you?’ I feel like they don’t even really know me, you know?” Lexa said, sighing slightly. “But it’s not that big of a deal, I don’t particularly care, I guess.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” Clarke apologized. “You got to see Anya and Lincoln after, though, right?”

“Yes, and that was definitely more fun,” Lexa said with a chuckle. “They were trying to get me to day drink, and to be honest, I totally would have if I hadn’t needed to go to work.”

Clarke laughed, before smirking a little bit. “I guess we’ll just have to figure out a different way for you to unwind… maybe once you get here I can help with that.”

Octavia feigned a gag from next to Clarke. “Oh my god, please don’t talk like that while I’m sitting right next to you.”

Lexa started laughing. “Is Octavia there with you?”

“Yes,” Clarke answered with an eyeroll. “She and her mom are already all settled in here. Don’t know why they decided to invade my mother’s home a day early, but…”

“Hey,” Octavia whined, poking Clarke in the side and causing the blonde to jerk slightly.

“Don’t poke me,” Clarke whined back.

Lexa was still laughing at the two of them. “Hey, I just got back to my apartment and I wanted to call you real quick since I’m about to get ready to sleep. I’m going to leave pretty early in the morning but I’ll call you when I’m about an hour out from your mom’s place.”

“Cool,” Clarke said excitedly. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yep, bye, love you.”

“Love you too, drive safe in the morning.”

“I will.”

The call ended, and Clarke sighed, somewhat happily and also a bit sad. She wished it was the next morning already.

“You’re such a sap,” Octavia interrupted the blonde’s moment of thought.

“I am not,” Clarke argued, narrowing her eyes.

“Yes, you are. And so is Lexa. It’s a match made in heaven.”

* * *

Clarke was up before Lexa called her in the morning, probably due to the anticipation of seeing her girlfriend. However, to keep herself from literally sitting around and twiddling her thumbs while waiting, she forced herself to get up and shower, straighten her hair, and do her makeup. Halfway through the latter, she got the phone call from Lexa.

“Good morning!” Clarke greeted brightly.

“Someone’s happy this morning,” Lexa teased, as if she had no idea why Clarke would be abnormally happy.

“Yes, and  _ someone’s _ on her way to see her girlfriend finally, which is enough to make me  _ really _ happy.”

“Hey, you’re the one who left  _ me _ here.”

“Whatever, the point is that I’m excited to see you. How long till you’re here?”

“About an hour, give or take a few minutes, I guess. Once I get into the city I’m going to put your mom’s address in my GPS so I don’t end up taking longer than necessary to find it.”

“Cool! Are you gonna want food when you get here? Because I don’t think anyone else will be up and about, so we could probably sneak away and get breakfast somewhere if you want.”

“Yeah, I haven’t eaten anything all morning so that sounds great,” Lexa agreed readily.

Clarke grinned. “Yay! I’ll see you in an hour then?”

“Yep, love you!”

“Love you too!”

Clarke put her phone down and quickly finished doing her makeup. She definitely felt a lot more ready to face the day now that she knew she’d be seeing Lexa in less than an hour.

Sure enough, no one was up and about by the time there was a knock at the front door. Clarke happily left her room and hurried down the stairs, going to the front door to let her girlfriend into the house. When she swung the door open, a huge smile came to her face.

“Hey!” she greeted brightly.

“Hey yourself,” Lexa tossed back with a chuckle, dragging her single bag into the house as Clarke stepped backwards.

“Welcome to la casa de Griffin,” Clarke said, gesturing to the house around her as she closed the front door. “As I predicted, everyone else is still asleep – or at least holed up in their respective sleeping areas.”

Lexa chuckled. “That’s okay.” She let go of her bag, instead placing her hands on Clarke’s waist and slowly snaking them around the blonde’s body as she pulled her closer. “I’m just happy to see you right now.”

“We’re weak as fuck. We can’t even go like, two days without seeing each other without getting all ‘omg, I haven’t seen you in forever’ about it,” Clarke murmured, although she wasn’t at all ashamed by this.

“That’s okay,” Lexa insisted, and before either of them could say anything else, she brought their lips together in a much anticipated kiss. Clarke instantly melted, letting herself relax into Lexa’s embrace and bringing her hands up to the brunette’s shoulders. The kiss lasted a long few seconds, but it was over all too quickly. “Alright, how about you show me where I can put this bag, and then we can go get food?”

Clarke nodded eagerly. “It’s just up here…”

They went up the stairs with Lexa’s bag, and Clarke showed the brunette into her room. Lexa set the bag by the door, but her gaze immediately gravitated toward the photos on Clarke’s wall. “Ooh, it’s little Clarke!”

Clarke flushed. “Yeah.” The brunette moved closer to the photos, and Clarke followed her tentatively.

Lexa laughed at something and asked, “Please tell me the outfit in this picture was for like, a costume party, and not because you and Octavia went through an emo phase?”

“Yeah, it was Halloween,” Clarke promised with a chuckle, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and peering over her shoulder. She moved one hand to point at a specific picture. “That’s me with my dad, a few months before he died.”

Lexa hummed softly. “You both look so happy.”

“Yeah. He was always happy. I don’t know how, but he was. My mom was always the one who got upset over things, but he would always either fix the problem or help my mom see the brighter side, whatever was necessary.”

“He sounds like a great dad.”

“He was.”

They were silent for a moment, and then Lexa gently broke free of Clarke’s hold. “Can I pee real quick, before we go?” Clarke nodded, looking to the bathroom door. “Bathroom’s just right there.”

“Thanks.”

After Lexa went to the bathroom and briefly freshened up, the two of them headed back downstairs and then outside into the cold air, hurrying into Lexa’s car.

“So where should we go?”

“There’s a really good breakfast café about ten minutes away, I’ll direct you.”

As they drove, and in between directions from Clarke, they caught up on the things they’d been doing the past few days. They got to the café pretty quickly, and Lexa excitedly parked and rushed Clarke into the little building, clearly hungry for breakfast.

Once they had food in front of them and were sitting at a little table in the back of the café, Lexa told Clarke, “So, I didn’t want to come meet your mom empty handed, and I was going to get her a gift, but then I realized I have no idea what to get her, so you and I  _ need _ to go somewhere after this so I can buy something for her.”

A smile spread over Clarke’s face almost instantly. “Aww, you wanna impress my mom.”

“Uh, obviously?”

“Don’t worry, she’ll love you. If you really wanna buy something, I know for a fact that my mom hasn’t bought the wine she usually drinks with Christmas dinner – it’s like her tradition, because she and my dad used to always have it on Christmas. I don’t know why it wasn’t on my shopping list, but we can pick some up on the way back to the house,” Clarke suggested.

“Awesome, because I was like, stressed.”

Clarke chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, seriously. Have you met you? You’re beyond likeable.”

“Mm, to you maybe. I don’t have the best track record with parents.”

“Oh really? Are you talking about any parents other than your own?”

Lexa flushed and shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I don’t meet people’s parents very often.”

“It’ll be fine, babe,” Clarke insisted, taking a bite of her food.

Lexa took in a breath and followed Clarke’s actions, clearly trying to forget her nerves. Clarke found it incredibly endearing to see Lexa flustered, because the brunette always seemed so put together. She would make sure to bring it up once Lexa realized how much she needn’t worry about meeting Abby.

When they finished eating, they got back in Lexa’s car and made a quick stop at the grocery store to get the wine, before finally heading back to the house. As they were driving, Clarke got an inquiring text from her mom as to where she was, and she replied quickly saying that Lexa had arrived and that they’d gone to grab breakfast, and that they were on their way back.

She could feel that Lexa was still nervous, and in turn, Clarke was getting a little nervous. That said, she knew it would be fine. If her mom  _ didn’t _ like Lexa, there would’ve had to be something seriously wrong with one of them.

Lexa parked her car on the curb in front of Abby’s house, and the two women clambered out and started up to the front door. Clarke fished for her borrowed key in her pockets, retrieving it just as they reached the door. When she pushed it open, she immediately noticed the sound of people talking, indicating that everyone else was finally up and awake.

“They’re back,” she heard Aurora say from the kitchen, and Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand – the one that wasn’t holding the bottle of wine, and gently tugged her from the foyer to the kitchen.

“Good morning,” she greeted Abby, Aurora and Octavia when they entered. “Mom, Aurora, this is Lexa. Lexa, this is my mom, Abby, and this is Aurora, Octavia’s mom.”

Lexa put on a bright smile, gently tugging her hand away from Clarke to shake Abby’s hand as it was offered to her. “It’s great to meet you, Ms. Griffin.”

“Oh Lexa, it’s Abby,” Abby insisted, shaking her head with a smile. “And it’s nice to meet you too. Clarke’s told me some things about you, but to be honest, I think I’ve heard the more interesting details from Octavia in the past hour.”

Lexa lifted an eyebrow at the other brunette, who was grinning perhaps somewhat evilly. “Oh good,” Lexa deadpanned, rolling her eyes at the girl. She then shook Aurora’s hand.

“Oh, what’s that?” Abby asked, noticing the bottle in Lexa’s hand.

“Well, I didn’t want to come empty handed… so I asked Clarke what I could bring,” Lexa answered, lifting the bottle.

Abby’s face lit up. “Oh, that’s my favorite Christmas wine! I can’t believe I nearly forgot about it. It tastes so great with the ham, trust me.”

Abby happily put the bottle in the fridge. It seemed like Aurora and Abby were trying to throw together some food for brunch. “Oh, speaking of which,” Clarke said, stepping over to the barstools where Octavia was sitting. “Octavia and I bought sparkling apple cider at the store, because I’m not drinking anymore.” She sat down at the second barstool, and then looked to Lexa, who took the cue and took a seat at the one next to her.

“Oh really?” Aurora asked her. “Since when?”

“A couple of months ago,” Clarke answered.

Octavia nodded. “Yep, I’ve seen her sober in a room full of tipsy to drunk people, so it’s legit.”

“Lexa, do you drink?” Abby wondered casually. “You’re a bartender, aren’t you?”

“Yes, and I do sometimes,” Lexa replied. “Not really a lot, though.”

“Well, tomorrow with dinner, you’re welcome to have some of that wine with dinner,” Abby insisted with a smile.

“Thank you.”

The rest of the morning and early afternoon was spent with all of them snacking on foods and catching up, and getting to know Lexa. Clarke was, unsurprisingly, correct in assuming that Abby would like Lexa. Although she asked a lot of questions, they were all very casual and light, rather than sounding like she was trying to interrogate the woman.

Toward the evening, while Lexa was caught up in conversation with Octavia and Aurora in the living room, Abby caught Clarke in the kitchen and looked like she wanted to say something.

“What’s up?” she asked her mom with concern.

“Oh nothing bad. I just wanted to talk to you about Lexa, and make sure that you and that girl are serious, because she would be a  _ great _ daughter in law.”

Clarke nearly choked on air. “Oh my god, mom, we’ve been dating officially for barely two months.”

“Hey, I’m just saying,” Abby said, holding her hands up in defense. Then she laughed gently. “Obviously I’m kidding about that – you obviously need to move at your own pace. But I really do like her. And I can tell she makes you really happy.”

Clarke smiled. “She does.”

“I’m happy for you, sweetie. And proud of you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but I am proud of you for living for yourself.” Abby wrapped the younger girl in a quick, tight hug, and Clarke smiled as she rested her chin on her mom’s shoulder.

“Thanks, mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie.”

As they pulled apart, Clarke glanced over her shoulder into the living room, and at the very same time, Octavia jumped up from the couch. “Clarke! Get out the blank cookies and the icing we bought!”

Clarke lifted an eyebrow. “You mean we’re actually going to decorate them?”

“Why not? Lexa said she’d help.”

“Alright, fine.”

As Clarke made her way to her mom’s pantry, she heard her best friend say, “See, if  _ Lexa’s _ involved, she’s instantly on board.”

“Hey,” Clarke said defensively.

Everyone else chuckled at Octavia’s statement, and the blonde just smiled to herself and grabbed the cookies and frosting off of the pantry shelf. They sat down at the table in the kitchen and spread out some parchment paper, and Octavia took the responsibility of spreading cookies out across the table.

“I don’t think I’ve decorated Christmas cookies in ages,” Lexa said, lifting an eyebrow as Octavia began decorating.

“I mean it’s not hard,” the other brunette insisted. “Just draw like, snowmen and shit on them. It doesn’t have to look amazing, either. Only Clarke’s do – because, you know, she’s an artist, so she’d fuck up her reputation if she didn’t make it perfect.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at her friend. “Thanks, O. Just for that, I’m making you into a cookie and it will not be flattering.”

“You know, actually, you should make Lexa into a cookie and then eat it – because with how much you’ve missed Lexa the past two days, you must be desperate to do that,” Octavia shot back.

Clarke’s face flushed red and her jaw dropped open, and a smirk spread over Lexa’s face. Aurora let out a loud laugh from the living room, where she was now sitting with Abby, who looked vaguely amused at the comment. “Fuck off, O.”

Still smirking, Lexa began to decorate one of the cookies, and Clarke began to do the same. As they decorated, conversation flowed between them, and occasionally Abby and Aurora would join in from the living room. It was really nice, actually, and Clarke couldn’t remember that last time she had this much fun during a holiday.

* * *

Around eleven that evening, Aurora ushered everyone into the living room, where she had hung up five stockings over the fireplace earlier in the day. Once they were sitting in the couches, the woman handed out the stocking accordingly, and then they all opened them at once.

As per usual, each one was pretty much just holding a bunch of candy. Clarke and Octavia each ate nearly half of the candy that was in their respective stockings. After about ten minutes of opening the stockings and chatting in the living room, Abby excused herself to bed. The rest of them quickly cleaned up the living area, and then Aurora and Octavia headed to their respective sleeping locations.

Clarke and Lexa went back to the blonde’s bedroom, and Clarke fell exaggeratedly onto her bed in a huff. “I’m exhausted.”

“How? You spend way more energy in a normal workday than you did today,” Lexa teased, sitting down on the end of the bed.

Clarke flashed her an attempt at a glare, and Lexa just laughed. “I’m going to take a shower.” The blonde nodded in response, and Lexa stood up, going over to her bag and opening it up, taking out the things she needed. Clarke, shifting her position so that it was easier to see the brunette, just watched her. “Is there a towel I can use in the bathroom?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Okay. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Lexa, her shampoo and other materials in hand, started toward the bathroom. Just as she was about to close the door, Clarke asked, “Mind if I join you?” Green eyes jumped up to meet blue ones, and a suggestive smile spread over Lexa’s lips.

“Please do.”

Lexa disappeared fully into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar, and Clarke hopped off of her bed. Shedding her clothes only took a matter of seconds, and by the time she was in the bathroom, Lexa had turned on the shower and was in the process of removing her clothing as well.

They didn’t say any words as they both stepped under the hot water coming down from the showerhead. The water soaked their hair and coated their skin, and once they were no longer shivering from the cool air outside of the shower, they locked gazes.

“So… Octavia said that you missed me,” Lexa said slowly, smirking a little, teasing Clarke. “How much exactly?”

Clarke let out a puff of air, and then clashed her lips with her girlfriend’s abruptly. Lexa’s hands went to Clarke’s waist, her fingers digging into the skin there gently. Their kiss was possibly enough to indicate how much Clarke had missed Lexa, but she knew that there was an even better way to communicate it. It would just have to be done very quietly.

Clarke heard a low growl release in her own throat, and she brought her hands to Lexa’s hips, pushing her into the tiled wall of the shower. The brunette let out a moan, and Clarke found herself surprised at how willingly Lexa was accepting the role of bottom. Maybe it was because they hadn’t seen each other in a few days… Clarke made sure to note this, but then she quickly moved on to the task at hand. She pulled her lips apart from Lexa’s.

“Do you want me to show you how much?” Clarke husked into Lexa’s ear.

“Please,” Lexa murmured back.

“You have to be quiet though,” Clarke reminded her girlfriend, her hand sliding down the brunette’s side and then sliding over her abdomen.

Lexa’s hips moved forward slightly at the feeling, but Clarke slid her hand upward rather than going to meet Lexa’s center just yet. She gently caressed Lexa’s breast, brushing her thumb over her nipple.

“Okay?”

“I’ll be quiet,” Lexa promised, pressing her hips forward again. Clarke rewarded the answer by squeezing Lexa’s breast, and the brunette let out a moan. “Clarke, I want you to touch me.”

“Be patient,” Clarke demanded, her lips falling to Lexa’s neck and attaching to the skin there.

“Ugh, Clarke, I’ve been  _ so _ horny the past few days,” Lexa complained, her voice low and dark and incredibly hot, “and I was going to touch myself.”

Clarke felt something like possessiveness over Lexa’s body rise up inside of her. It was an odd feeling to have, considering that this was Lexa’s body, and she could obviously touch herself if she wanted to. And while the image was incredibly hot, she felt a kind of jealousy over the fact that she hadn’t been there to fuck Lexa. “Did you?”

“No, I decided not to,” Lexa breathed out, her right hand coming up to grab Clarke’s from her chest. She guided it downward. “And now I need you to fuck me,  _ please _ .”

Clarke obliged now, sliding her hand in between Lexa’s legs and gently stroking the outside of her core, her fingers only dipping slightly into the wetness pooling there. Lexa let out a moan, and Clarke hushed her as she let two fingers slide inside of Lexa. She kept her thumb near Lexa’s clit, rubbing around it enough to get the brunette’s breathing to quicken immensely. “Fuck, Clarke.”

“Shh, quiet, remember?”

Lexa whimpered, but then did her best to stifle the sounds that wanted to escape her. As Clarke drove her closer and closer to orgasm, however, she did let quite a few sound slip. Clarke didn’t really think it was a big deal, and she definitely didn’t mind. When Lexa finally came, she was biting her lip to keep from crying out, and as soon as the moment had passed, Clarke rewarded her valiant efforts with a soft kiss.

Lexa returned it briefly, but then tugged her lips away in order to catch up on breathing. Once her breaths were more even, and Clarke had pulled her fingers from her, the blonde said, “We should probably actually shower, huh?”

Lexa narrowed her eyes. “Not before you’ve come, my love.” Clarke felt her cheeks redden, but the term of endearment came in an incredibly low, sexy voice that made Clarke more wet than she already was. The hot water was still pouring over the two of them, but that definitely didn’t stop Lexa from reversing their positions and dropping onto her knees. Clarke had to clamp her mouth shut almost instantly to keep herself from letting out any sounds too loud. The brunette brought her hand and her tongue to Clarke’s center, skipping foreplay and going straight for the prize. Her left hand gripped the back of Clarke’s thigh, and it took all of Clarke’s focus to keep from moaning out her girlfriend’s name loud enough for at least the whole second floor to hear.

In true Lexa fashion, the brunette made Clarke come incredibly quickly, before slowing her pace and turning more gentle for a few moments, only to bring herself to her feet, join their lips in a kiss, and make Clarke come yet again to her fingers. “Holy fuck, Lexa,” Clarke breathed out heavily. “Do you have like, a rule where whoever you’re fucking must never come less than twice in a period of ten minutes?”

“Mm,” Lexa hummed out thoughtfully, “no. I just  _ love _ making you come. Plus, I’m good at it, aren’t I? So I might as well do it a lot.”

“I’m not sure your reasoning holds true for everything,” Clarke said with a low chuckle.

“That’s okay, I just need to it to hold true so I can use it as an excuse to make you come more than once.”

“I wasn’t really complaining, so the excuse wasn’t really necessary.”

Lexa laughed lightly. “Merry Christmas, Clarke.”

“Merry Christmas.”

* * *

Since their late night kept them from sleeping early, neither Clarke nor Lexa were up early Christmas morning. That said, Clarke did wake up before Lexa, and rather than bothering the brunette, she grabbed her phone – which she’d never checked after their shower – and realized that she had a couple of text messages from Octavia.

**Octavia – Hmm nice long shower you’re taking in there…**

**Octavia – You’re so fucking lucky that I’m in the room closest to yours and not my mom!!!!**

**Octavia – I can totally hear you in there. Which is funny, because whatever was happening for the first half I couldn’t really hear much at all. And since I** **_know_ ** **you two weren’t showering** **_before_ ** **sex, that leads me to believe that you’re either a weak as fuck top, or Lexa’s just really good at being quiet.**

**Octavia – But either way, you’re loud.**

**Octavia – Thank fuck you finally shut up, now I can sleep**

**Octavia – Goodnight bestieeee**

Clarke felt her face turn red. She hadn’t known that she was making  _ that _ much noise, but it was also very possible that Octavia was over exaggerating to mess with the blonde.

**Clarke – Hey, I can’t help it. It’s not my fault that your boyfriend isn’t as good at making you come as my girlfriend is at making me come.**

Not surprisingly Clarke at all, her best friend immediately started typing a response.

**Octavia – Girl, I don’t care how good you come or whatever, when you’re not at home, you’ve gotta shut your mouth**

**Octavia – I’m never letting you live this down**

**Clarke – Sex is a natural part of life, okay? I won’t apologize for any of it.**

**Octavia – One day when I bring someone here for Christmas I’ll be sure to remind you that you said that after fucking louder than ever before in the room right next to you. I’ll even be louder than you.**

**Clarke – Nah, I bet I could still beat you.**

**Octavia – No fucking way, I am really good at faking, which means I’m really good at being way fucking louder than necessary.**

**Clarke –** **_You’re_ ** **good at faking? I’ve slept with so many more people than you. PLUS, I won’t even need to fake it with Lexa. What you heard last night was me being literally as quiet as possible**

**Octavia – Fucking bet**

**Clarke – Wait**

**Clarke – How did this go from you accusing me of being too loud to us having a “who can have sex louder” debate?**

**Octavia – Good question**

**Octavia – Hey at what time is it acceptable for me to run through the house with jingle bells and wake everyone up to open presents?**

Clarke let out a little laugh, and the sound or perhaps the movement caused Lexa to stir. She immediately caught her breath, hoping to not wake the brunette, but it was too late. “Clarke?” Lexa murmured quietly.

“Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Clarke whispered back, turning slightly toward the brunette. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah,” Lexa answered, her morning voice raspy and tired. “Have you been up long?”

“No, just a few minutes. I was texting Octavia. I guess she heard us – or specifically  _ me _ – last night.”

Lexa smirked a little. “That’s because you’re loud.”

“No, I tried so hard to  _ not _ be loud.”

“Babe, maybe by the second round, you were a little less focused on being quiet.”

Clarke pouted. “You should’ve told me.”

“Uh, no way,” Lexa argued. “It’s too hot for me to tell you you’re being loud.”

“That’s dumb.”

“Maybe, but I can’t help it,” Lexa teased, a grin across her face. “So when do we open presents?”

“Damn, you and Octavia both, all you care about on Christmas are the presents.”

“Obviously,” Lexa deadpanned, “why else would I be here?”

Clarke pouted, “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Lexa teased, propping herself up a little and pressing her lips against Clarke’s in a soft kiss. “I’m going to go get ready in the bathroom real quick.” Once the brunette had entered said bathroom, Clarke looked back to her text conversation with Octavia.

**Clarke – Lexa just woke up and is in the bathroom getting ready, sooooo I guess soon. I’m gonna get ready after her.**

**Octavia – What do you mean by “get ready”**

**Octavia – You don’t have to like, shower and shit right**

**Octavia – You did that last night**

**Octavia – Please tell me that you didn’t have morning sex too**

**Octavia – There’s such thing as too much sex, you know**

**Clarke – Is there? Anyway** **_no_ ** **, we didn’t and** **_no_ ** **I don’t need to shower. I just have to wash my face and brush my teeth and put on clothes.**

**Octavia – Okay, okay…**

**Octavia – So…**

**Octavia – I will start ringing my jingle bells in 10 minutes! Time starts now!**

**Clarke – Fuck you wtf**

Octavia didn’t answer, so the blonde just got out of bed and pulled on some underwear, a bra, black pants and a sweater. The toilet had flushed by the time she was done, so she went to the bathroom and knocked on the door, and once Lexa had indicated that she could come in, they both quickly got ready.

By the time they were both ready, there actually was the sound of jingle bells coming from the living room. They ventured downstairs, realizing that Aurora was up as well as Octavia, and the blonde was not surprised to see her best friend adorning a Christmas sweater decorated with jingle bells.

“Merry Christmas!” Octavia exclaimed happily. “I know you two started it off pretty nicely at about midnight…”

“Shut up,” Clarke huffed, rolling her eyes.

“Good morning, Clarke,” Aurora greeted happily from the kitchen, seemingly not hearing her daughter’s comment. “Morning, Lexa. Merry Christmas!”

“Good morning,” Lexa greeted brightly, as Octavia whined, “Where’s Abby?”

“She’s probably getting up,” Clarke answered with a shrug. “She doesn’t sleep for  _ that _ long, she’s used to like, long as hell shifts.”

Just as she said it, her mom’s bedroom door opened and the older blonde entered the living room. “I heard someone summoning me,” the woman said jokingly, looking at Octavia.

“Yeah, obviously we need to open presents while it’s still early,” Octavia insisted.

“Honestly, you’d think you were still ten years old,” Aurora said with a shake of her head. “Don’t you want to at least eat something first?”

“Not really.” Octavia shrugged.

Still, Aurora and Abby insisted that they eat least get some food in their stomachs before opening any presents. And not one second after they finished was Octavia dragging them all into the living room.

“Literally a child still,” Aurora said again, rolling her eyes.

The day before, everyone had brought their wrapped presents down and set them under the tree, and now they dispersed them all to the person they were meant for. And then they each began to open them up.

Aurora and Abby received practical gifts from both Clarke and each other, but Octavia had gotten them each a bobble head she thought looked like them. Octavia appreciated the mug Clarke had gotten her, and feigned being offended when she opened up Lexa’s gift to see a shirt with the words “I’m not drunk. Definitely not sober, but not drunk.” She also got gifts from Abby and Aurora of course, but of course, both were more practical.

Clarke opened up her presents to find a new set of brushes – some fancy kind that Clarke was definitely not used to having – from Aurora. From Abby, a new coffee machine, and it actually looked really high tech – which meant that Clarke was going to have to figure it out. Still, she imagined it would definitely be of use. From Octavia, she got a bobble head as well, but it was a painter with an easel, and it was clearly meant to be on a dashboard. A couple months ago, this might’ve seemed like shade being thrown, but she appreciated the thought.

And from Lexa – the present Clarke was particularly excited about opening – she actually had a multi-part gift. It didn’t really surprise her, especially since she’d gotten a multipart gift for Lexa as well. The first part was identified by Lexa as the silly part, and Clarke was even more excited to see what it was.

She started laughing when she realized it was a shirt with the word: “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like mine?” Lexa grinned at the blonde’s laughter, but then she insisted that Clarke opened the second part to the gift. Upon doing so, she found two necklaces, probably purchased separately but now in the same little box together. One of them had a little paint pallet pendant. The other was some sort of crystal or gem that was green, in the shape of a heart. It reminded Clarke of Lexa’s eyes, and whether or not that was the intention, it made her love the necklace even more.

As soon as she’d opened the presents, though, she insisted that Lexa open hers.

The brunette had already opened her present from Octavia, which was a plain back shirt that said “I’m whipped,” and Lexa had rolled her eyes when she read it. Clarke couldn’t really picture Lexa wearing it in any setting, except maybe as a sleep shirt. Either way, it had been pretty funny when Lexa opened it up.

She opened the martini glass earrings first, and she really liked them, much to Clarke’s pleasure. The second present, although not framed, was at least in a mat. Clarke would’ve bought a frame, but it would’ve been harder to wrap, and she figured it would be easier for Lexa to pick out a frame she liked. That was, if she wanted to frame it. The mat felt safer to Clarke.

The blonde was pretty nervous for Lexa to open up the present, but once she did, and green eyes lit up, Clarke knew that she’d done a good job. “Oh my god, this is beautiful,” Lexa said, her voice almost a happy sigh. “I seriously love this.”

“I love you,” Clarke countered cutely, and Lexa laughed, shaking her head and setting the drawing on her lap to lean toward the blonde and press their lips together softly. When they pulled apart a second later, Lexa was still grinning.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas.”

Once everyone had opened all of their presents, the Christmas festivities continued on. Octavia turned on TNT on the TV, where  _ A Christmas Story _ was on repeat just like every year. While it played, Abby and Aurora set out to start the long preparations for Christmas dinner, which would of course take some time, but would definitely be done by around five. That always gave them plenty of time to let their stomach settle and then finish off with cookies and pie, arguably the most important part of Christmas.

Clarke couldn’t remember the last time their Christmas had been this lively, and she wondered if that was a difference in herself – because she was finally really happy – or if things were actually just a lot better. Either way, she definitely didn’t complain.

At some point, Clarke had gone to the bathroom, and when she returned, she saw Lexa in the kitchen with Abby. Aurora had disappeared for the time being, and Octavia was on the phone with probably Nick in the living room. Clarke started toward the kitchen, but neither woman noticed her, and she stopped when she heard their conversation.

“Yeah, I don’t really get along so well with my parents,” Lexa admitted. “They used to funnel me money a lot, though, and I went to Europe kind of on a whim. They got pretty pissed about that, but even once I came back, things have been kind of… not great since then. But it’s always been weird between us. Not the most… loving household.”

“It’s crazy how even with all that said, you’re still such a polite young woman who’s got things going for her.”

“Does being a bartender count as having things going for me?” Lexa asked with a light laugh.

Abby sighed. “I’m trying this new thing where I try to care more about people being happy than being ‘perfect.’ I almost drove my daughter away by caring so much about her going to college and turning out a certain way. But even though she’s been through ups and downs, she’s getting back on her feet, and she’s happy, and I’m proud of her. Life’s too short to only look at the downsides, you know? I know if my husband were still here, he would’ve helped me realize that a long time ago. He would’ve been proud and supportive of Clarke no matter what.”

“Clarke talks about him sometimes. It sounds like he was a great person.”

“He really was. Most of our Christmas traditions we’ve kept around specifically so that it feels more like it did when he was here. Hence the wine that Clarke recommended you get for me,” Abby said with a smile.

Lexa returned the smile. “Actually, this is probably the best Christmas I’ve ever had. My family wasn’t very into celebrating, I guess. A couple of presents or gift cards in the morning was about all that happened. No special meals or anything. I remember one Christmas, I woke up really early and trekked over one of my friend’s houses – I was probably like, thirteen. Her family did a lot for Christmas, and I thought it was the coolest thing. But even the Christmases I’ve spent with my friends… we don’t do a lot. I usually work. This is totally different… thank you so much for inviting me, by the way.”

Abby looked emotional, the smile on her face both elated and also sad. “Aw, of course dear. You’re welcome any time.”

Clarke finally stopped eavesdropping and walked fully into the kitchen, coming up behind Lexa and wrapping her arms around her waist, slightly surprising the woman. “Hey!”

“You scared me,” Lexa murmured, although she then let out a small chuckle.

When dinner was ready, they all sat around the table, thanked Abby and Aurora for the cooking, and then dug in. The food was amazing, and everyone – sans Clarke – enjoyed the wine as was Abby’s tradition. Clarke drank sparkling apple cider instead, and it wasn’t any less enjoyable doing so. Conversation flowed so easily, and there were jokes and stories and laughs and teasing, and it was just fun. And then of course, they lounged around for a few hours, playing card games once Octavia broke out a deck, until they were hungry enough to stuff themselves with all of the pie and cookies they’d bought from the store.

And late that night, when Clarke was laying in her bed with her girlfriend’s arms wrapped around her, she knew that this had easily been the best Christmas she could remember, for a multitude of reasons. But the main reason was in bed with her, and she’d hopefully be there for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! The last chapter will be a bit of an epilogue, and so it won't be super long, but I hope that the length of this chapter balances it out?  
> My last final is tomorrow and then I'm off for two weeks! Made it through my first semester! Hell yeah!  
> Be sure to follow me on Twitter @BrittzandTana and check out my links! :D  
> Have a great day!! xx


	20. Don't Need Dollar Bills To Have Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> In case I forgot to mention it before, this story was written in 2015 and thus it was set in 2015, hence the reference to the start of 2016.  
> I know it's technically not Sunday anymore and I'm so sorry this isn't on time!! I've been lazing all day so I don't have much of an excuse, but I am on break and I did kind of lose track of like, what day it is an stuff lol. But I saw The Last Jedi yesterday and it was amazing and I've been nerding out all day so XD
> 
> Anyway, this is the last chapter of Cheap Thrills loves!!
> 
> Enjoy!!xx

“I hope you guys are ready to get wasted – and wasted by association – because I bought a shit ton of alcohol,” Octavia announced, walking into her apartment. Clarke, Lexa, and Raven were all in the living room already, the blonde having arrived before Octavia left to run to the liquor store.

“Wasted by association?” Raven asked, eyebrows lifted.

“Yeah, that’s for Clarke, since she won’t be drinking,” Octavia answered with a shrug.

“I probably won’t be drinking either,” Lexa added unnecessarily. It was kind of a norm for Lexa to not drink if she was with Clarke.

“Where’s that whipped shirt I gave you when you need it?” Octavia asked with a shake of her head. “Now I feel bad for wanting to drink a shit ton.”

“Isn’t Nick coming over?” Clarke asked. “Why would you wanna get wasted anyway?”

“Because it’s New Year’s Eve, duh! It’s literally the time to get wasted.”

“Yeah well, some of us have work tomorrow,” Clarke said, stretching her arms up over her head as she leaned into her girlfriend on Octavia’s couch.

“Ugh, okay this is too much adulting for me,” Octavia said, finally carrying the bags of alcohol into her kitchen and setting them on the counter.

About fifteen minutes later, Nick showed up, and he was shortly followed by Bellamy. “Hey guys,” Bellamy greeted when he walked in, “how was everyone’s Christmas?”

“Pretty above average,” Clarke answered first, smiling as Lexa nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, we had the usual Blake-Griffin Christmas,” Octavia said, before freezing slightly as she realized that that was something Bellamy hadn’t ever experienced. “Maybe ah, one day you can join us for that. I don’t know what you usually do with dad.”

“Not a lot, to be honest. Maybe next year I can join you guys?”

“The more the merrier,” Clarke said. “You might have to sleep on a couch, though, because have family sleepovers to celebrate Christmas.”

“I heard about that,” Nick said, amused. “Octavia was up very early Christmas morning, texting me about how annoyed she was that no one else was up getting ready to open presents.”

“Yeah, she’s insane. Good luck,” Clarke joked, getting a feigned look of annoyance from her best friend.

“My Christmas was boring,” Raven muttered. “I wanna go to the Blake-Griffin Christmas.”

Lexa chuckled as Clarke let out a chuckle. “My mom will be thrown for such a loop, but to be honest, I’m sure she and Aurora wouldn’t mind if next year you all came.”

“It would be so much fun!” Octavia exclaimed.

“But you would all need to brace yourself for Octavia literally acting like a five-year old on Christmas morning.”

“You’re even more harsh than my mom, geez.”

“I’m sorry, but she’s not wrong,” Lexa told the other brunette, who just scoffed, opening a bottle of tequila.

“Alright, before this conversation gets any further, we need to get some shots in us – at least most of us.”

Anya, Lincoln, and Luna showed up about an hour after that first round of shots, and everyone had known they were going to be late, so Octavia just offered them up some shots to catch up. They hadn’t yet done another round yet, but all of them, except Clarke and Lexa of course, had been nursing a beer or two since having that first round.

When it was nearing midnight, Raven took charge of the TV and turned on the ball drop. They all counted down with the people on the screen, and as the ball dropped, the three couples in the room shared a celebratory kiss, each of which lasted definitely longer than necessary.

“Happy 2016, babe,” Lexa murmured against Clarke’s lips as they finally broke their kiss.

* * *

They got back to Lexa’s apartment in the early hours of that morning, when it was around two. Clarke’s first thought was coffee, but then she was reminded by her girlfriend that staying up all night was probably not the best idea, and the blonde agreed. So they made their way to Lexa’s bathroom and started cleaning off their faces and brushing their teeth and getting ready to sleep – because the whole evening had been incredibly exhausting, even if it was a lot of fun. The holiday times were like that usually – by the end of them, Clarke was usually ready for a nice, long weekend naptime. Of course, she wouldn’t really get that, since she would be working every day, but she was still tired.

That said, this holiday had definitely been one of the best ones she’d ever had. She’d had all of her friends with her, which is always amazing, but she’d also spent some really good time with her mom, and well, of course there was also the miracle that was Lexa. Clarke would never understand how she’d gotten so lucky to have Lexa in her life, but this holiday had really showed her, even more so than before, just how amazing her girlfriend was.

After getting ready for bed, they dressed in some warm pajamas – Clarke really liked borrowing Lexa’s pajamas – and climbed into the brunette’s bed. Lexa wrapped her arms around the blonde immediately, holding her close. “Did you have a good night?”

“I did,” Clarke answered, tangling her legs with Lexa’s under the blankets. “You?”

“Yeah, it was a lot of fun,” Lexa murmured in response. “I always feel so iffy about new years when they come around. Especially when I had a pretty good previous year.”

“Like, you’re scared it won’t be as good?”

“I guess, yeah,” Lexa answered with a sigh.

“Well, you have me, so I’m sure it’ll be pretty fucking great.”

“Hmm, you make a very valid point.”

Clarke chuckled as she felt a feathery kiss on the back of her neck. “Are you excited for this year?”

“I’m excited to spend it with you,” Clarke answered, “and I’m excited to get a car, so I can actually visit DC if I want to and drive places if I want to and have the time. Plus… I was thinking about how I’ll have to move art if I started trying to show it places, and it’ll help a lot to have a car for that, you know?”

“Yeah of course,” Lexa agreed. “Hey, I had a thought…”

“Did you?” Clarke asked, doing that thing that Lexa always did to her when she was trying to start a conversation.

Lexa hummed in response. “Well… we spend most nights either at my place or your place. And your art is all piled up in the corner of your place… I don’t know, I was thinking that maybe… you could uh, if you want to, move in here, and use your place as like, an actual studio. That way you can actually have a place to work on it when you have the time to.”

Clarke felt her heart swell and a grin spread on her face. “I love how you say that like you’re trying to make it all about the art even though you’re obviously just obsessed with me.”

“You caught me,” Lexa deadpanned, before chuckling. “So what do you think?”

“That sounds like a really good idea,” Clarke answered. “I’d love to move in with you, Lexa. And I’d love to have a place to actually do my art.”

“Okay, good, now I know that 2016 will beat 2015,” Lexa murmured, holding Clarke impossibly closer. “Looks like my resolution is coming true.”

Clarke laughed brightly. “Your resolution was to get me to come live with you?”

“Well that was one of them…”

“You’re a dork.”

“I love you,” Lexa said softly, clearly very tired.

“I love you, too.”

* * *

2016 would end up being a really good year for Clarke and Lexa. For one, by the end of January, Clarke had moved her dresser and other necessary furniture items – as well as all of her clothing and things over to Lexa’s apartment. She sold the furniture she no longer needed, excluding the couch, which she left up against the wall in the studio. She took down her curtain and the curtain rod that she’d mounted when she moved into the place, and spread a huge, grey tarp onto the ground. On top of the tarp, she set up her easel and a drawing desk, which was one investment she’d needed to make. Thankfully, she’d managed to find one that wasn’t ridiculously expensive.

Spending every night in their apartment, in bed with Lexa no matter what, was incredible. There were hardly any feelings that could compare to the feeling she got being held by her girlfriend in their bed every night.

By April, Clarke had a car, and the first thing she did with it was transport two of her pieces from her studio over to Anya and Lincoln’s gallery. Sure, maybe it wasn’t the greatest opportunity to show her art, but it was an opportunity nonetheless. Plus, the gallery was getting a lot more business now, and its hours had expanded into the weekdays. That was mostly thanks to Nick, who in March was able to convince his colleagues to write a piece on the adorable, up and coming gallery that was featuring the work of a bunch of New Yorkers.

Also in April, Octavia resigned from her job at her dad’s newspaper in favor of getting a job in a building about a block away, for a magazine that was huge on empowering women. She got so many more interesting things to write about there, and even though the application portion and the interview had been intense, it all ended up working out for her. 

Raven was still working at her job at Columbia, of course, since research was her one true love, but she always made time for her friends.

In the summer time, Clarke and Lexa each took a few days off and road tripped down to Washington DC, where they stopped to see Abby, and then continued further until they got to Virginia Beach. Considering how few vacations they ever really got from work, it was a much needed break, and it was there that Clarke realized that she would be perfectly happy – even more than happy, really – to spend the rest of her life with Lexa.

But although she knew that, and Lexa probably knew the same thing for herself, neither of them would propose to one another until 2017, another bright year for the two of them.

Ultimately, though, Clarke came to love every little moment she could spend with the love of her life. Although having a stable job and income had definitely made it nicer, it wasn’t ever a happiness factor when she was actually with Lexa. She could easily get lost in a world of cheap thrills – a hot cup of coffee, a quiet moment where Lexa was pulling her fingers through Clarke’s hair, a walk through the brisk air of New York after getting off of work to surprise Lexa at the bar. Because as many changes that happened in Clarke’s life since meeting Lexa, none of them could beat the biggest, best change of them all. That change was that she was happy and in love – that she had Lexa.

All she needed was Lexa, and thankfully, they would spend the rest of their lives together. Clarke was sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, so that's it for this story!  
> Thanks to those who stuck around for all of it!  
> Hoping to have a new story up sometime in the next couple of weeks - on a Sunday of course - but if it's not next Sunday, you can expect at least some sort of one shot or something! :)  
> Follow me on Twitter @BrittzandTana and check out my other links on there! ;D  
> Have a lovely day/night and holiday season!! Love you all, and I hope to see you all soon!! xx

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter @BrittzandTana !!  
> Love you all, have a great day!!


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